Chapter 4

“This but begins the woe other must end.”

(Act 3, Scene 1, Line 116. Romeo and Juliet)

“Are you lying to me?” A silk scarf tightened around my neck.

“No.” I choked and closed my eyes, his body invading mine, over and over again.

“Why? Did you do as I have taught you?”

“Yes.”

“Well maybe you were too much of a good girl again.” He replaced the scarf with his hands. “And you aren’t a good girl… can you feel yourself? Good girls don’t react to this.” He whispered in my ear and my body shuddered against him. “You’re a bad, bad girl… a little whore.” He bit hard onto my ear and I yelled out loud, as my orgasm wracked through my body. “See that?” He chuckled and run a thumb along my cheek. “Cry my little girl… cry…” I shook my head and forced tears out. I heard him grunt in approval and the silk cloth was around my neck again and suddenly darkness descended.

Something cold brushed my naked back and I winced, rolling away.

“I do not mean to harm.” Axel sat on the bed, a red towel in his hand.

“Why are you here?”

“Max suggested I try you out again…” He shrugged and tossed the towel away. “It’s one in the morning…”

“Oh…thank you…” I muttered and brought the black sheets around me.

“I leave tomorrow… have you decided?”

“No… what you tell me is a life I once dreamed of, but now… I am a prisoner… I cannot leave Max, he gives me what I want… what I deserve.” Blue eyes held mine and he sighed.

“Tomorrow morning I will wait for you. Max has to leave early… decide by then.”

“But…”

“No woman… no girl such as you should deserve this.” He reached over and kissed my hair. “I will be waiting.” He got up and walked out again. Like before… since the first night. Short conversations and then he was gone. Feeling sticky, I rolled off the bed and walked into the bathroom, stepping under a cold jet spray of water.

My breath came out short and ragged as I stared at myself in the mirror. Bite marks scarred my chest, my stomach and my legs. Parallel lines down my back and faint pink across my wrists. I moaned in despair and collapsed onto the ground.

“Why now? Why when I’ve forgotten everything?” I sobbed and crawled to the bed, dragging my naked body across the floor. I curled up on top of the black sheets and whimpered, shivering. Closing my eyes tight, I forced the tears away again and stared at the drawer. Absently I took the silver key on top of the table and opened it. Staring at the different knives and scalpels I sat up, bringing one up to my eyes. A silver handle, decorated with roses and snakes. I watched it as my hand brought it to my stomach.

“To escape… because I don’t deserve even this love…” I murmured and I ran a finger across the large blade of the knife. “Good bye… love…” I shut my eyes and thought of Max’s face, sweaty and smiling as he drunk his wine, running his hand through my hair. I re-held the knife and stabbed it upwards, towards my neck and everything went black, dull throbbing running through my body and I stopped breathing, tasting blood on my tongue. Max…my first love… my first lover… Somewhere I had found myself a rare flower, whom I had stained with my tears, sweat and blood.

“The unsubstantial Death is amorous,

And that the lean abhorréd monster keeps

Thee here in dark to be his paramour?

For fear of that I still will stay with thee,

And never from this pallet of dim night

Depart again. Here, here will I remain,

With worms that are thy chambermaids. O, here

Will I set up my everlasting rest…”

Act Five, Scene Three, Lines 103 – 111. Romeo and Juliet by William Shakespeare

A/N: I wrote this at four in the morning… forgive me for any mistakes and perhaps the ‘clumsiness’ of the whole story. But hopefully you found this story fascinating enough… it is loosely based on a real person’s life, but it was anger and pain that ate away at the person, not sodomy. This person has given me permission to use her experiences as a foundation to this story, plus my own experiences with depression. Hopefully my warning was clear enough. I am the sort of girl brought up on horror stories and all the likes of it, so stories like these never make me feel…weird. I just find myself thinking about a certain situation and seeing how alike it is to a painful moment in my life... and Romeo and Juliet is my favorite play. The passage and quotes are taken from Romeo and Juliet. New Swan Shakespeare, Pearson Education Limited.

All reviews are welcome, but I do not generally welcome non-constructive criticism… depending on my mood… and if I’m in a bad mood, all flames with be replied to. That is amusement on itself… but… whatever, I’m rumbling again. Thank you for reading.