Red rimmed stinging drop

drip into a faded pillowcase.

Coughing up the blood let it

seep into the fabric I don't care.

…crying. Again…

I'm never going to be good enough for you.

I'm sorry I'm not perfect.

Sorry that you refuse to see my flaws

as acceptable.

Maybe I need to be

imperfect.

…different…

And maybe

you'll never understand.

Maybe every dream wish hope

I caught has just slipped through

the cracks between the dusty floorboards.

I'll never find, never seek them again.

Whisper hush now in my mind

you don't hear my murmured frustration.

…Why do you do this to me?…

Raised voice becomes voices,

screams, harsh words.

Your voice is fading.

…I can't hear you…

I'm sinking fast in this coal black

quicksand of misunderstanding.

I reach for your hand.

… I know you won't be there…

Warm fingers. A hallucination?

Please

be real.