1.

The stars in the sky overhead shone brightly, as did the moon. I lay, my hands behind my head and tangled in my blond hair. I stayed there, not really looking at the stars or anything else, but composing a poem within my head:

I lie on a rock

Looking at the stars.

Knowing one belongs to you

Brings teardrops to my eyes.

I’ll pray

To God almighty that you can have

A second chance.

It would have been a blessing

To have known you were safe

That night.

I was worried.

But usually I don’t have a reason to be.

This time I dad.

Unfortunatly.

If you would just have had

Self-control,

You would be next to me

Instead of

At the cemetary.

I thought it was okay considering I made it up in less thhan 5 minutes. The poem tells the story of the last few days of my life. They’ve been hell. In one easy summarizing sentence, Jason died. I still don’t believe it. It goes through my mind day after day, night after night, but its still unbelievable. I stay awake trying not to think of him, but I do. He’s all I can think of. And I can’t help but remembering that his death was HIS fault.

I remembered the frront page news of San Diego Newspaper that horrible morning:

Teen Died in Car Accident

Jason Murry, 17, died at 11:46 last night. He wwas, as his mother, Laura Murry, told us, going to pick up his girlfriend, wh oremains anonymous. They were going to go see a 10:30 movie together. Jason apparently didn’t go to a movie, but instead to a baar, where he got drunk. He was given the beer by Mr. Bill Hansen, owner of the local bar, Beer Maiden. Mr. Hansen is now on trial. He reluctantly talked to us, telling us that Jason Murry had been going to the bar for about 6 months before that and often left drunk.

Jason was driving on the wrong side of the road that night. He hit a car. The person in that car, Mrs. Margret Lively, died along with Jason. Mr. Murry’s funeral will be tomorrow at 12:00 in St. Anthony’s church, and Mrs. Lively’s will be at 6:00 at night.

Deborah Ragburn

I had memorized the article. Every single word. It’s hard to forget something like that. Maybe it was harder for me because he was my boyfriend. I was the one that he was supposed to go see a movie with that night. It was ME!!!!! He stood me up for a couple of beers and a fatal car ride.

So here I am. Lying on my stargazing rock, not gazing at the stars. I looked at my watch. 11:46. The exact time Jason had died. I began to cry. I had to get a hold on myself.

I cried harder.

And Jason was still dead.

I couldn’t stand it anymore. I went inside.

As I opened the backdoor to my house, my ears were greeted with the sound of the television, and I saw the light from it flickering. The volume was turned way down low. I walked quietly into the family room, where the TV was. My parents were never up this late so it had to be my 9 year old brother, Leon.

I was right. Leon was watching some dumb cartoon on the Toon Disney channel. I saw the top of his head over the couch.

“What are you doing up so late?” I said, scaring him. He jumped halfway out of the seat.

“Jeez, Natalie!” Leon hissed at me, “You’re gonna wake up mom and dad! You scared me!”

“Sorry. But you didn’t answer my question.”

“ I had a bad dreeam, okay? Leave me alone.” He settled dopwn on the couch again.

“ Tell me about it.”

“No.”

“Why not?”

“Because you’d get mad. Or sad.”

“Just tell me!”

“Promise you won’t cry.”

“Fine. I promise.”

“My dream was about me, you, and Jason.” He said, “We were all in a car, and Jason was acting crazy. He was going really fast. You told him to slow down but he just went faster. We hit another car. It was a red car i think. Just like old Mrs. Lively used to have. Jason got smashed and was dead instantly. And right as I woke up, I saw you fall over him, dead too.”

I could see he was trying not to cry as hard as I was.

“Keep watching your show, Leon. I’m gonna go upstairs.”

Leon nodded his head and started watching again.

I went up to my room and immediately started crying. After a while I saw Leon was watching me.

“You said you wouldn’t cry.” He sobbed, and slammed the door to his room.