This is something I started awhile ago and there’s five chapters so far and each one, I’m told, gets funnier. I think in the next chapter is where Kiran and Alex get drunk, but I’m not sure...Anyway! If you read Chosen, you’ll recognize Kiran and Alex. Yes, they are in the human world(a.k.a Earth). No, no they’re not really human. You’ll see why they’re on Earth in a bit. This story really is worth reading. I think. The chapters to come will you make you totally laugh, I promise.

The songs “Spin” is copyrighted to Lifehouse and “Unstable” is copyrighted to Adema.

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“Turn that racket off.”

“No.”

“Then at least turn it down.”

“No.”

“Alex!”

The sleek black Supra jetted down the night street, the only sound from it was the purring of its engine. The tinted windows were rolled up so that if someone happened to be outside as the car drove by, they couldn’t see the people inside it.

The passenger window rolled down and a young man with black hair tossed the butt of a cigarette out. He then moved off his seat and reached into the back pocket of his jeans for his pack. The moon overhead washed over the car and lit up the inside for a moment, the light glittering on the two silver streaks in the passenger’s hair. His blue eyes sparkled as he withdrew the pack and sat, then took a new cigarette out and held it to the driver.

The other man smacked his hand away. “I do not smoke, Alex.”

“You do plenty of other drugs.”

“Leave me alone.”

“Fine.”

He leaned back and glared out the window. As he tapped his feet to the music, the other man driving had his dark eyes focused on the road ahead. The light from the moon washed over the driver as they continued down the country road. His hair was cut to where it would fall to his cheekbones when straight. But he had it layered, despite Alex telling him it was feminine, and he even styled it. Of course Alex bugged him about that, too. He sighed and glanced into the rearview mirror, some of his hair hanging in his eyes as it always did. From the faint lighting it looked as though his hair could have been white. His dark blue eyes, which were lined in black eyeliner, were emotionless as they peered through the silken strands of hair and his glasses. He hated his glasses more than anything. They were rimmed in black, as everything he had was mostly black. Thankfully they fit him perfectly and never slid down his nose. He would have ended up losing his temper and breaking them if he had to push them back up every few minutes. He had a simple black stud in each ear, which Alex couldn’t make fun of, because he, too, had earrings. Alex had two golden hoops in his left ear.

Alex reached forward and turned the music louder, lighting his cigarette with a match, which he then flicked out the window. The song playing was one of Alex’s favorites. Then again, all he did was listen to music, smoke and do various drugs, and deal. Alex had nothing better to do than learn all the words to every damned song he listened to.

“When the world keeps spinning ‘round, my world’s upside down and I wouldn't change a thing. I’ve got nothing else to lose, I lost it all when I found you and I wouldn't change a thing. No, you and I wouldn't change a thing,” he sang with the music.

The other man in the car grumbled and turned the music down.

“Kiran, back off!” Alex snapped and cranked the volume. “It’s the best part.”

“Alex,” Kiran warned.

“Spinning, turning, watching, burning.” Alex sang along happily with the music, practically dancing in the seat of the car with his burning cigarette. Kiran narrowed his eyes in annoyance, though Alex didn’t have a bad voice. It still didn’t make it all right for him to sing in Kiran’s car. Still he continued. “All my life has found it's meaning. Walking, crawling, climbing, falling. All my life has found it's meaning.”

Kiran slapped the radio off. “Alex, you need to have a life first for it to have meaning.”

“Why are you always in such a bad mood?” Alex asked and looked at him curiously. “You’re always so angry. You’re just an angry person, aren’t you?”

“Shut up, Alex.”

“I bet you have angry music.”

Kiran chuckled. “I do not have angry music.”

“Let’s see, then.” Alex reached forward and opened the glove compartment. Besides a bag of cocaine and a spare gun, there was nothing. He grumbled and shut it, then reached under the seat. He felt CD cases and pulled them out. He held them up and squinted so that he could read in the faint light. “Marilyn Manson?”

“That is not angry music, Alex.”

“Not angry, just insane.”

He raised his right middle finger from the steering wheel and Alex laughed.

“All right. What else. . .” He looked at the next CD and raised his eyebrows. “Adema. They’re good, but angry.”

“They are not.”

Alex looked at Kiran. “Do you even listen to the lyrics?”

“. . . Yes.”

“Liar.”

“Shut up already.”

He snickered and put all but one CDs under the seat. He opened the case for Adema’s CD and then slipped it into the stereo. He turned the volume up and grinned as music began blasting.

Kiran groaned and rubbed his forehead, then shook his head and sped up slightly. He wanted to reach their destination and get it over with.

Alex began to drum his fingers on the dashboard along with the music. When the words began, Kiran was thankful that Alex didn’t begin to sing. He sighed and tapped his fingers on the steering wheel. And then Alex couldn’t fight it anymore and he started to sing.

“I'm trapped and we can't get along. I thought that I was strong. We are so unstable. And then, I'm strung out from your touch, but I won't give you up. We are so unstable,” he sang, continuing to beat his hands on the dashboard.

With a growl, the driver reached over and turned the music off. “Do you ever shut up?”

He glared and threw his hardly smoked cigarette out the window.

“Stop littering,” the driver snapped.

“Stop bitching.”

“Stop cursing!”

“You can’t make me.”

Kiran slammed on the brakes and Alex flew forward. Fortunately Alex was wearing his seatbelt and it snapped him back against the seat. He coughed and rubbed his throat where it had gotten him.

“Why you-”

“We’re here,” Kiran said and snickered.

He turned the car off and opened his door. Before he got out, he pulled on a pair of leather gloves; Alex did the same. As Kiran got out of the car, the cold wind blew his hair over his beautiful face. He slowly looked out over the fields to the three-storied house that stood in the dark. Somewhere in the distance a horse whinnied.

“And do be quiet,” Kiran added.

“As you wish, Four Eyes.”

Kiran narrowed his eyes and removed his glasses, folding them and putting them safely in his coat pocket. At least he didn’t have to wear them all the time.

“Do you have everything?” Kiran asked and looked over as Alex as the darker man shut the passenger door.

He nodded and held up a leather bag. “Right here.”

“Good. Now hurry.”

Kiran turned and looked at the house. His dark coat was wrapped tightly around his muscular body, keeping the night chill away. He shrugged his shoulders up and the upturned collar of his jacked covered most of his face. He stayed like that for a moment, his hands in his pockets, and gazed at the house.

“So?”

He turned to looked back at Alex, who now had a silver action rifle over his shoulder. He was smirking at his partner in crime. Kiran grinned and took his hands from his pockets, withdrawing a Beretta.

“My mother’s gun?” Alex asked in surprise and raised his eyebrows.

Kiran smirked. “She let me use it.”

“How did you get her to let you?”

He only smirked and began for the house.

Alex grabbed the bag and ran after him, his rifle still over his shoulder. “You’re sure that they’re there?”

“Oh, I’m sure.”

“If you say so.”

They were walking through the fields when Alex started to sing. Kiran turned and glared murderously at him.

“What?” Alex asked innocently.

“Stop singing. You sound like a woman.”

“At least I don’t look like one.”

He turned again and smacked the back of Alex’s head. The younger man yelped, then swung the bag at Kiran’s hand. Kiran only smirked and continued for the house. The yellowing grass bent under their feet. There was hardly a sound, as the ground they tread on was soft from a night’s rain two days ago.

“You’re sure that there are no alarms or wires set anywhere?”

“I guess we will find out.” Kiran looked back at him and smiled.

Alex rolled his eyes. “Woman.”

“Idiot.”

“Old man.”

“I am not that old, Alex.”

“You’re ten years older than me. That’s old enough.”

“Yes, I am older. And smarter.”

“You? Smart?” Alex started to laugh.

He hit him over the head again. This time Alex fell silent immediately and didn’t even bother to hit Kiran back.

They reached the front of the house within five minutes and with no more insults. It was quiet around the house with the occasional chirp from an insect or sound from a various farm animal. In the distance a dog’s echo barked and then it was silent again. The two moved onto the wooden porch, their thick boots thudding softly on the boards. An old screen door hung on only one hinge and swung in the wind, creaking every time it moved.

“Are there any dogs?” Alex whispered and gripped his rifle tighter.

Kiran shrugged and then knelt down, studying the lock on the main door. It would be easy to pick. He looked back at Alex and held his hand out. But the younger man had turned his back and was looking over the fields. Kiran scowled and picked up a pebble on the porch and threw it at him. He jumped and spun around. Then he grinned sheepishly.

“I cannot pick this lock if you are off in Wonder Land,” Kiran whispered harshly.

“You should try visiting that place. It makes you happy.”

“I don’t want to be happy.”

“You enjoy being angry?”

“I am not angry!” he practically snarled.

Alex held back his laughter and handed the bag to Kiran. He yanked it from him and opened it, setting his gun aside. After a minute of searching he took out some tools and began his work on the lock. He didn’t need light to see it. He could pick a lock if he were blindfolded.

A faint click could be heard and Kiran grinned. He tossed the items back into the bag, shut it, grabbed his gun and stood. He handed the bag to Alex and then opened the door. It was dark, but that was fine. They didn’t need to go inside.

“Well?” Kiran asked and looked at Alex.

“Give me a minute.” Alex was now sitting with the bag open again, some of the contents laying scattered around.

He was building a bomb. It had already been started earlier and Alex was just finishing. After a few more moments he was done and he stood. Kiran brushed past Alex and began packing the things as Alex moved into the doorway. The younger man tossed the bomb up and down.

“Stop playing, Alex,” Kiran muttered, not even having to look up to know what the other was doing.

“Do you think if you told an airport guard that they were ‘the bomb’, they would arrest you?”

Kiran stopped and slowly looked up. “Why in the world would they arrest you for that?”

“Because you’re not supposed to say the word ‘bomb’ in an airport.”

The older man rolled his eyes and snapped the bag shut. “Hurry up.”

“But this is fun.” He threw the bomb up again and caught it.

“Stop being an idiot.”

“I can’t help it.”

“I know. Now set the bomb and we can leave.”

He sighed and flipped the switch. A timer on the bomb read “4:59" and it began counting down. Alex grinned at Kiran. Kiran sighed and turned to leave.

“This was boring,” Alex grumbled.

“Not everything is meant to be fun.”

“Then we can make it fun.”

He froze and then looked over his shoulder. “Alex, no!”

Alex smirked and threw the bomb through a window. The glass shattering broke through the night and Kiran’s eyes widened in horror. But there was silence. Alex snapped his fingers.

Then the alarms went off.

Kiran grabbed a fistful of Alex’s hair and yanked him off the porch. Then Kiran ran. Alex followed, though not quickly. Because he was left with a problem. When the alarms went off, not only had it alerted the entire house, but it had opened doors. And the doors had released dogs.

“Why dogs?” Alex grumbled and swung his gun around, sliding his arm through the handles of the bag.

He fired at the first dog as it leapt through the air. The bullet connected with the dog’s chest and the animal was sent flying back with a yelp. Kiran turned and raised his gun. He pulled the trigger and the sound of his weapon cracked through the air. Another dog cried out and fell.

Kiran narrowed his eyes to see how many more were left and realized he needed his glasses. It was much too dark to see very far without them. He withdrew his glasses and slid them on and then stepped back quickly as a dog ran at him. It jumped on him, sinking its teeth into Kiran’s right arm. He cried out in pain, then held the gun to the dog’s neck and fired.

The dog fell off as blood soaked Kiran’s expensive jacket. He kicked it away, then scrambled to his feet and fled to the car.

Alex spun his rifle around, holding it by the barrel and swung it like a bat at the next dog. It snapped the creature’s neck and it collapsed to the ground. The last dog snarled as it launched itself at Alex. But Alex only grinned and flipped his gun around again, then fired as soon as he caught it. The bullet flew through the dogs head, gore flying in all directions.

The sound of yelling came from inside the house and lights flickered on throughout it. Alex held his weapon tightly and took off for the car. He saw that Kiran had just reached it and was yanking the door open.

Kiran started the car and the engine roared to life, then began to purr as usual. He looked over and sighed in relief when he saw Alex. His friend slid around the car and got into the passenger side, throwing the bag into the backseat. Kiran slammed down on the gas and the car went flying forward. Alex yelped and grabbed the seat, forcing himself into it. He held onto it as he reached out and shut the door.

“See?” he panted and looked at Kiran. “That was fun.”

“Fun?” Kiran snarled visciously. “Look at my arm, Alex!”

His eyes flickered to the driver’s arm and he saw that it was bleeding. “Oops?”

“Oops?”Kiran’s eye twitched and he reached over, grabbed a fistful of Alex’s dark hair and slammed his face into the dashboard.

Alex cried out in pain and threw himself back against the seat, holding his bleeding nose. He looked over at Kiran with wide, watering eyes.

“Oops,” Kiran growled.

The younger man narrowed his eyes, then reached out and turned the radio on, turning the volume up all the way. Blood ran from his nose and down his lips and chin. His eyes were still watery, but he didn’t care.

“Alex!” Kiran yelled angrily over the blaring music. He turned it off and glared at the other.

“You broke my nose!” Alex shouted.

“Oops.”

He went to grab Kiran’s wounded arm when the sound of a gun being fired echoed behind them. A bullet suddenly came flying from the rear windshield and through the front one. Kiran yelped in surprise and Alex ducked.

“Look at what you’ve done!” Kiran said angrily and looked over his shoulder.

There were three cars behind them, each one seeming to gain inches every second. Kiran looked at Alex sharply and pushed down on the gas again. The speedometer slowly rose to eighty and continued gaining.

Alex climbed into the back seat and opened a black suitcase. Inside it were three different guns. He grabbed one and slammed it into the rear window. Kiran jumped and glanced over his shoulder.

“What are you doing to my car?” he demanded.

“Slowly making it a convertible.”

He scowled and focused on driving.

Alex brushed the shards of glass and then cocked the gun. He held it out the window and fired. The first car swerved and the shot missed. He grumbled. One of the people in the car behind them leaned out the window and fired a machine gun.

Both Alex and Kiran ducked as it tore through Kiran’s car.

Once it had stopped, Kiran pushed the car to ninety. “Alex, come back up here and look at my dashboard again.”

“This isn’t my fault, Kiran!” he snapped, ignoring the pain of his broken nose.

“You are the one who kept messing around!”

“I was only having fun!”

Alex moved to shoot again when a loud explosion in the distance erupted. Clearly the bomb worked. And well. Alex grinned proudly.

Though Kiran’s reaction was rather different. The sound startled him and he accidentally slammed on the brake. Alex went flying backwards between the two front seats and landed in the center, his right arm with the gun in Kiran’s lap.

“Sorry,” Kiran said and then hit the gas again. He glanced down at Alex with a raised eyebrow. “Do you plan on having your hand in my lap all night?”

“Only if you pay me,” he said with a grin.

Kiran glanced into the rearview mirror and his eyes widened when he saw that one of the cars was nearly right behind him. He muttered something and the speedometer rose to a hundred. Alex pushed himself up, his hand resting on Kiran’s right leg, and then crawled into the backseat again. He grabbed another gun, made sure that both were ready to go, and leaned out the back window and fired them at the same time.

Both bullets hit the driver and the car veered, then flipped. Alex smiled and rested the slower gun on the seat, then leaned back out and began to fire the second gun rapidly. Each shot connected with the windshield of the second car. The passenger was wounded, but the driver had been able to duck down. Alex cursed and ducked behind the seat as he grabbed the third gun.

“Killing them now would be nice, Alexander.”

“You’re not my mother.”

“No, but I sleep with her.”

“Are you sure she’s not a lesbian?” Alex asked and peeked out the broken rear window. “She could think you’re a woman.”

He reached back and yanked on Alex’s hair. “Care to find out?”

“Not really, no.”

He shoved Alex away and rested both hands on the wheel again. He saw that a curve was coming and he held his foot over the gas, getting ready to slow. Alex took one shot and it pierced the front left tire of the second car.

The driver tried to keep the car on the road, but Alex fired another shot and flattened the other front tire. The driver lost control of it and the vehicle flipped as the one had before. Only one car left.

Kiran pressed down as gently as he could on the brake and then turned the corner sharply. Alex shouted in surprise and was thrown against the right door. The gun in his hand shattered the window and he paused.

“God dammit, Alex!” Kiran snarled.

“You cursed!” Alex said cheerfully and pushed away from the door. “Do it again!”

“Get rid of that last car!”

“Curse.”

“No.”

“Curse!”

“No!”

The road straightened out and Kiran picked up the speed. The last car was firing non-stop, but Kiran was able to move the car out of the way. For the most part. An occasional bullet would hit the back of the car.

Alex crawled to the other side of the backseat and smashed the remaining window there.

“Alex, you bastard! You are going to pay for this car!”

He giggled like a child. “You cursed again! Roll up your window so I can break it.”

Kiran slammed on the brakes and the car skidded to a stop, the tires screaming on the road. The last car swerved, hitting the brakes as well. Alex was thrown forward again, but this time into the back of Kiran’s seat and then down between the front and back seats.

And then he got stuck.

Kiran pressed down on the gas again and the car moved forward, though the engine wasn’t purring anymore.

“Hey Kiran?”

“What?” he snapped angrily.

“I’ve fallen and I can’t get up.”

“You little ass,” Kiran snarled. “I will stop this car and offer you to them if you do not stop playing around.”

“No, really.” Alex tried to get up but his body was caught. “I’m stuck.”

“Fine.” Kiran took his gun from his coat, ignoring the throbbing pain from the bite in his arm and leaned out the window, his left hand still on the wheel. He aimed his gun and fired. The bullet hit the engine and the car seemed to groan as it was forced on.

Kiran moved back inside and had to swerve as he almost ran into a sign.

Alex was stuck so he wasn’t thrown around this time.

“Did you get them?” he asked from his spot on the floor.

He ignored Alex and pressed on the brake rather hard. His car was already worthless anyway. He shifted the gear and parked the car, then opened his door and stepped out, his boot crunching down on a half empty liquor bottle in the road. He raised his gun at the last car as it sped forward. Kiran smirked, the wind blowing his hair across his face. The brightening sky lit up the dark eyes behind his glasses and he began walking forward, his gun still raised.

The car barreled toward him and he didn’t stop moving.

His arm burned but he didn’t stop moving.

When the car was ten feet from him, clearly intent on running him down, he took one step to the right and the car moved to pass him. He fired once as it did and the bullet entered the driver’s head. The car turned sharply as the driver jerked and moved the wheel. Then the car went forward and slammed into a tree, crushing the passenger instantly.

Kiran smiled in satisfaction and then looked up at the sky as the sun broke through. He watched the sun for a moment and then returned to his car. He tossed the gun onto the passenger seat and closed his door. Then he shifted gears and took off.

“So. . .?” Alex asked from where he lay still.

Kiran was silent for a moment, then he slid his finger over the button to roll the window up. It slowly moved up and once it was closed, he rammed his elbow into it and the glass shattered, falling out as he drove on. Then reached over and hit the button to turn the stereo on, turning up the volume until the car was pulsing with music.

Alex grinned.