Chapter Ten

Andy set her suitcases down in front of the large, white house and wrapped her arms around herself. Am I doing the right thing? She looked down at her feet with a sigh. Was my life ever normal? Was I really living here such a short time ago? A breeze cut through the heavy jacket and she sighed again, trying to will herself to take the first step forward. The path to healing requires a first step, Andy told herself.

Morgan, why didn't you show up? Why did you leave me there alone? She pushed the thoughts of him away and bent to pick up her suitcases, gripping the handles with white knuckled hands as she made her way toward the front walk. I am so scared, God. I don't know what's in there anymore. Will Max let me come back? Will mom and dad trust me? Will Vicki forgive me? I don't know, she told herself. But I've got to take it. If I ever want to come home, this is the step I have to take. Andy slipped her gloved hand around the doorknob and chewed her lower lip as she turned it slowly, her hand jerking back when she heard a voice behind her.

"So this is where you've been hiding."

She turned sharply, her eyes going dark with fear and pain as she looked into Ryan Godler's green eyes. Dear God, what am I supposed to do now? Nobody's home and I can't do this alone! Please, don't make me do this alone!

"Hello, Ryan." Her voice was calm, but her heart raced. "How are you?"

He sauntered up the walk, his hands hidden in the pockets of his jacket. "So you remember who I am, but you can't pick up the phone and let me know you're okay? That's cold. Very cold."

Andy's hands clenched into fists and she willed her eyes to stay fixed on his. She couldn't let him control her anymore. The two of them were over. She'd made a mistake and now it was in the past.

"It wasn't so cold as you think, Ryan. I'd told you before that I didn't want you in my life anymore. I told you we were a mistake. Why should I have called to let you know I was okay? It's over between us."

"It's over when I say it's over, Annie. Not before."

Fear shot through Andy's heart and she cringed. "Don't call me that anymore, Ryan. I don't want anyone to ever call me that."

Ryan stepped up onto the porch and leaned against one of the columns. He stared down at his shoes in silence. After a few minutes, he looked up. "Sorry about that last line. Sounded like something from a bad movie."

She relaxed a little, but her fists refused to unclench. "I accept your apology, Ryan, but I really think you should go. Last time we said good-bye wasn't pretty and I don't think I can handle that again."

He straightened and took a step toward her. Andy flinched and moved away. He froze. "I'm sorry about that, An---Andy, but I love you and you're pushing away from me. It's driving me nuts because I don't understand why!"

"I already explained it to you once," she said quietly. "You didn't take it very well."

"That's because it sounded pretty lame. Like it was some kind of excuse because you'd found someone else." Ryan leaned back against the column and gave her an intense look. "We did a lot together, Andy. Now you're telling me it's over? Sorry. I don't buy it. We were good together."

Andy cringed and looked around the neighborhood for someone to help her. All she saw was blackness. God, I can't be alone with him! She already felt herself slipping.

"I know we were close, Ryan, that's why I needed to back off. That's why it's over. We were too close. Not only that, I was using you to hide from my problems." Andy shook her head and leaned against the railing that surrounded the porch. "I can't do that anymore."

"You're talking crazy, AnnIe," he said as he walked toward her. "We weren't using each other for anything but love---"

"Love?" Andy looked over at him in shock and moved to the opposite side of the porch with a snort. "Love. We don't even know what that is, Ryan. We're too young. Love, real love, is what my step-dad has for my mom."

"What's the difference?"

"What's the difference? He waited over four years for her. He hid his feelings for her because he didn't want her to know that, while she was marrying his best friend, he was watching his chances for happiness go down the drain. That is love, Ryan."

"Love is different for different people, Annie," he soothed in a calm voice. He stepped toward her, ignoring it when she backed up. "All I know is that I love you and I know you love me. I can tell, Annie. Every time I touch you I can tell you feel something for me."

"No," she said in a rough voice. She cleared her throat and tried again. "No, Ryan. It's different." She backed up a few more steps, her mind racing. God, please! I'm slipping!

"Why is it different?" he asked. "Your mom comes alive when she's with your dad, right?"

Andy mutely nodded, stopping with a jerk when her back came against the railing. She looked up into his eyes and swallowed hard.

"I know you come alive---"

"No," she whispered harshly. "Don't say it!"

"Why not, Annie? What we feel isn't wrong."

She tried to move away, but he blocked her with a smile. He stepped closer and she raised her hands in front of her, turning her head away.

"Ryan, don't come so close," she whispered. She could feel the tears coming as she took a few deep breaths.

"Why? I'm not going to hurt you. I swear!"

He came closer and she put her hands out, pushing on his chest. "Ryan, please," she pleaded. "It's over, Ryan. Please leave me alone..."

"Why? Why does it have to be over? Is there somebody else? Who? Who is he?" Ryan took hold of each of her arms. "Who is he?"

Andy squeezed her eyes shut tight as the tears started. God help! she pleaded.

"Let go of her."

Ryan gave a start and released Andy's arms as he turned sharply. "What's it to you?"

"I'm her brother, that's what." Steven Modine's tall frame stepped the rest of the way up the walk and mounted the steps of the porch. "I distinctly heard her say that she wanted you to leave her alone."

Ryan took a menacing step forward, stopping midstep when Steven's calm face hardened.

"Don't even try it," Steven warned.

Andy rushed over to Steven's side and clenched his arm with a tight grip. He looked down at her briefly, covering her hand with his, then moved his gaze back to Ryan.

"I don't know what you were doing here, but you better leave and not come back. Now is a good time."

Ryan's face darkened before he turned on his heel to stride off the porch toward his truck. He sped off without another word. Andy continued to clutch Steven's arm until he gently pulled her into a hug. She hid her face in his chest and sobbed.

"I'm sorry, Andy," Steven whispered. "I just flew back from school to say that. To tell you I was sorry for all those things I said. I should have been standing by you, not against you. I should have been an example for Max. I'm so sorry, Andy. Please forgive me."

Andy tightened her arms around him. "I was so scared. I was so scared that I was going to go with him just so that I wouldn't be alone. I've gone through so much just so that I could call this home again, and I was ready to throw that all away...."

Her sobs broke off the rest of her sentence.

"Shhh. It's okay, Andy. It's okay. You're home now. You're home now."

Andy shook her head slightly. "No, Steven. No, It'll never be home to me again. Not anymore."

"It's Max, isn't it?"

A wave of defeat dropped her hands to her sides and she turned away from Steven's comforting grasp. "He hates me, Steven. He hates me so much that he doesn't even want me to come home."

"How do you know?" he asked quietly.

"I wrote a letter and slipped it under the door for him. Telling him that I was coming so we could all heal. I saw him---" Her voice broke and she squeezed her eyes shut. "I saw him throw it out my window."

Steven draped his arm across her shoulders. "He's so confused, Andy. He doesn't know what to think about anything. I know because I felt the same way."

"It's not the same, Steven," she whispered. "You didn't see the look on his face when he said he was glad I wasn't his sister. You couldn't hear his voice when he said it. When he said 'I hate you'." She shook her head and Steven pulled her into another hug.

"He doesn't hate you, Andy. Trust me when I say that. He doesn't hate you."

Andy could only pray that it was true.

"Come on," Steven said quietly. "Let's get you inside. It's cold out here."

She let him lead her into the house, but didn't feel any warmer when he shut the door behind them.

"Surprise!"

The lights flashed up and Andy blinked into the faces of her family as they smiled at her from the hallway. "What is all this?" she asked quietly.

Vicki stepped forward and wrapped her in a hug. "To let you know that we're happy you're home."

Andy closed her eyes and squeezed Vicki as hard as she could. "You don't know how glad I am to be here, Vicki," she whispered in her ear. "You just don't know."

Vicki pushed away gently and chewed her bottom lip. "We were beginning to wonder when you were going to come in. I thought I heard voices... Are you okay?"

Andy nodded mutely and pulled her into another hug. "I'm okay now." She looked over at her mom and dad and sent them a weak smile as the tears drifted down her cheeks. "I'm going to be okay now," she assured them.

Mark and Elizabeth walked forward and wrapped their arms around her and Vicki with smiles and soft words of encouragement. Andy shut her eyes a moment and then opened them when she heard the soft sound of footfalls climbing the stairs. She caught Max disappearing down the hall. I know it's going to take time, Lord, and a lot of patience, but please help him see that I've changed.

The group hug broke up and Andy started toward the den.

"Wait," Vicki said behind her. "We've got a surprise for you."

Andy turned and Vicki started up the stairs with her suitcase, turning to give her a smile before going the rest of the way up the stairs. Andy raised her eyebrow and then followed after her. When the family stopped outside her bedroom door she looked at them in confusion.

"What did you guys do while I was gone?"

Vicki's eyes twinkled and she reached out to open the door. "Not much."

Andy took a couple steps forward and looked around her newly decorated room with an open mouth. "Where's all my old furniture? The only thing I recognize is Gramms' old oak vanity." She turned to her family and gave them a playful glare with her hands resting on her hips. "What did you guys do?"

"We moved your bed into Vicki's room and bought you this antique one from an estate sale of one of my clients. Then we had to get the dresser, hope chest, and bedside table to match." Mark looked around the room with an approving smile. "I think it looks great."

More tears sprang to Andy's eyes and she leaped forward to envelope him in a hug. "Thanks, dad. Thank you so much."

His arms went around her and he smiled. "Your welcome, Anna."

She tried to hide the cringe, but she knew it was too late. He pushed away gently and looked down at her with dark eyes.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing." She chewed her lip and let her hands drop to her sides as she looked around the room. "I just... I really love this, you guys. Thank you. It's the best present I could ask for."

"Vicki, why don't you and I go downstairs and check on dinner?" Elizabeth asked quietly.

They shut the door behind them and Andy sunk down onto her bed. Mark sat beside her. So what are you going to tell him, she asked herself. Are you going to tell him every little detail right away? Or tell him bit by bit as the months and years go by? Andy stared toward her window and chewed her lower lip.

Either way didn't sound too good.

"No more secrets," he said.

Andy sighed and shook her head. "No more secrets, but I can't tell you everything at once. It would be impossible because I don't even know what's going on in my life."

He took her hand and gave it a gentle squeeze. "It was great to hear you call me dad, Anna."

She cringed before she could stop herself and felt his hand tighten on hers. Stop it, she scolded. He's not Morgan Roberts so quit squirming every time he says that name! You're hurting him every time you do that!

"There it was again. What's wrong?"

"A lot has happened, dad, that's all." Too much, she wanted to say.

"Do you want to talk about it? I'm right here."

Andy moved her gaze to her hands and then gave a sigh of defeat. "I don't want to tell you his name, dad, but he was the first guy after Ryan who looked past the outside."

Her dad's arm went around her shoulders and she surrendered to the feeling of home as the story unfolded.

Morgan looked down at the paper with a sigh as he gripped his pen. What was he going to write? Anna won't believe a word of it, he told himself. He threw the pen across his bedroom and leaned back in the chair with a dark glare. It wasn't like there wasn't anything to write about. Things with his mom were better than they had ever been. His whole family was going out and doings things together just like they used to. Of course, he still fought with the anger of why the whole cancer thing had to happen to his mom in the first place, but Cora had persuaded him to start attending a support group once a week. It made it easier to take.

Then there was the award.

The framed award seemed to glare down at him from the wall, accusing him of breaking up Wil and Vicki's relationship just so he could take something away from him. And he had a feeling that Vicki knew what he'd been up to. So why did she do it? he asked himself. Why did she put up with it all? He shook his head and ran a hand through his sandy brown hair with a growl. He knew thinking about it wasn't going to make it all become crystal clear, but it kept his mind off of what he was trying to say to Anna. Trying to explain why he hadn't been at The Break like he'd said he would be.

"And where am I supposed to send it, anyway?" he sneered.

He knew perfectly well that he could give the letter to Cora, but she would probably tell him to get lost. If anybody knew what kind of a creep he was for standing up Anna, she did. It didn't even matter that he hadn't done it on purpose. She'd taken a chance of saying yes to meet him and he'd messed it up.

"Big time," he mumbled.

The letter seemed to laugh at him and he sat forward suddenly to crumple it into a tight ball. I don't know why I'm even trying, he thought as his glare darkened. She's not going to believe a single word I say. But what if she would have and I hadn't written it? He rolled his eyes and took another pen from his desk drawer. It still didn't solve the problem of what he was going to write. How was he going to ease into it? How was he going to tell her that he felt like scum? How was he going to explain that it had been an accident that had kept him away from her, and have her believe it?

He shook his head and brought his pen down to the paper. Might as well start it somehow, he told himself as he scratched down a few sentences. Maybe he could tell her what a mess he'd gotten himself into by agreeing to lead a youth group on a skiing trip to Mt. Hood? She'd probably get a kick out of that. Seeing him with a bunch of junior high students who suffered from the same bitterness that he did because of cancer ought to give her some kind of laugh. At least it wouldn't be at him.

Not really.

His pen came to a stop and he stared down at the scrawled words with a shake of his head. It wasn't going to work. She was going to throw it away. He stood sharply and threw his pen down on the desk, ignoring it when it bounced onto the floor. I have to get some food, he told himself as he strode out of his room and through the living room to the kitchen.

"I was beginning to wonder if you were ever going to leave your room."

Morgan gave his dad a look and then sat at the kitchen table with a thud, picking at the corner. "Sorry, but it's the first weekend that I haven't had plans. I figured I might as well get some stuff done."

"Is that all? You've been grumbling around like a bear ever since you came home from meeting with your mom at the hospital. Did everything go okay?"

"At the hospital, yeah. It was after that where the problem started, dad."

"What happened?"

"I missed a... a meeting."

"A meeting." His dad repeated the words after a slight pause, giving his son an odd look. "Must have been some meeting to tick you off this much."

"It was with a girl."

"I see," he said with a nod. "I should have guessed. Do you mind me asking what the meeting was about?"

Morgan shrugged. "It doesn't really matter anymore. We're never going to get together again. She probably hates me."

"This wouldn't be Renee, would it? The girl who keeps calling you?"

"Not even close."

"Better, huh?"

"Much."

"Where did you meet her?"

"Remember that Bible study that Dave Windser kept bugging me to go to?" His dad nodded and Morgan started picking at the table corner again. "I had more in common with her than anyone else in the room, so we got to talking."

"What made you sit next to her?"

"I don't know." He crossed his arms and glared at the table top. "I've been asking myself that same question for weeks. Why did I just walk up to her seat, throw myself down beside her, and start talking to her like I'd known her since kindergarten? I just don't know."

"Sometimes people are like that, Morgan. They just draw people to them without even knowing they're doing it. Maybe she needed you and God used that."

Morgan glared harder and shrugged. "I don't know, Dad. Maybe it was just the way she was sitting in the middle of the room when everybody else was at the refreshment table. She didn't want to talk to anybody else."

"You always were sensitive to what other people were feeling, I don't care how much of a rebel you're trying to be. You can't hide the person you are. It's instinct."

"Whatever, Dad. What makes you think I didn't just plan to use her for some fun?"

"Because that's not what you do."

Morgan snorted and stood. If his dad had seen the way he'd gone after Vicki, he'd have changed his mind. "I've got to go finish writing a letter. Could you bring me a sandwich?"

"Sure."

"Thanks."

Morgan closed the door behind him and sat back down at the desk, the words he'd just said to his dad spinning around in his head. Maybe I should just tell her the way it is. He gave a nod and picked up his pen, starting halfway down the page without crossing out what he'd written before. After a few minutes, Morgan looked down at the letter and shook his head as he crumpled it up.

"A letter from Cora came for you, Andy."

Andy took the letter from Vicki's outstretched hand and set her book down on the coffee table in the family room. "Thanks, Vicki. You want me to read it out loud?"

"That's okay. I've got some homework to do."

Vicki left the room and Andy stared down at the letter in her hands with a small smile. Thank God for friends, she told herself. She carefully ripped open the letter and pulled out a small note. 'Andy, I thought you'd want to know that Morgan is doing really good lately. He's been really sensitive because of his mom dying of cancer,' She straightened in her chair and gripped the envelope with a gasp. Morgan, I'm so sorry, she groaned inside. Andy closed her eyes and bit her lip as her throat tightened with the tears she didn't fight any longer. Why hadn't he ever told her? Maybe I never gave him the chance, she thought slowly. Maybe he wasn't supposed to tell me. Maybe I was just supposed to be silent support for him.... Or maybe he was supposed to be the strong one for her.

He had helped her. Maybe more than she knew.

Andy brushed a wisp of hair off her eyebrow and forced herself to relax into the chair with a long, deep breath that seemed to rip her insides apart. She looked down at the note and kept reading. 'but now that he's going to a support group that meets once a week, he's doing great. He's changed a lot, but I still think he has a way to go. Just thought I'd let you know. He's proved himself to be the unsung hero that Vicki wrote he was in her article. She's going to have to teach me how she does that one of these days. And there's a surprise for you inside the envelope. Get a tissue.'

Andy shook her head with a reluctant smile and reached into the envelope to pull out two pieces of paper that had been crumpled into a ball and then smoothed again. What's this? she asked as she carefully unfolded them. She looked down at the writing, eyes narrowing as she tried to recognize it. Her eyes suddenly widened and she sat forward in the couch with a sharp intake of breath.

'You probably won't believe me when I write this, but I don't care anymore. I did go to The Break to meet you, but I couldn't make it. There had been an accident and the police weren't able to let anyone get past. I tried, Anna. Really. While the sirens of the ambulance and police cars were going off, all I could think about was how mad you were going to be when I didn't show up. I felt like scum and that's why I'm writing this letter which you probably won't get, and even if you do, you more than likely won't read it. I don't blame you.

'I don't know where you and your family are living, but I know that I don't want you to hate me. Or wonder why I didn't show up like I said I would. I keep thinking of how alone you looked when I walked up to you at that Bible study and I didn't want you to look like that again. I didn't want you to think that I didn't care. Maybe that's why I flew off the handle about you living in Wil's room. Maybe you were right when you said I cared too much. I don't know. Maybe that's why I didn't want to ask you what really happened, because I was afraid you might guess that it really mattered and then laugh at me.

'This all sounds so girlie when I put it on paper. Like I'm some mamma's boy who's so in touch with their feelings. Yeah, right. Don't expect to ever see any tears from me. Not even when my mom dies right in front of me. I'll always have a mask on. Maybe that's why I pushed you away. You saw through it.

'I don't want to ever forget you, Anna.' Morgan

Her hand tightened into a fist and she pressed it against her mouth as the tears slowly dropped down her cheeks.

"Thank you, Mo," she whispered. "Thank you."

"Andy, I need some help with my--- What's the matter?"

Andy quickly wiped the tears off her cheeks and tucked the pages of the wrinkled letter into her book. "Nothing, Vicki. Nothing. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

"Positive," she said as she stood and gave Vicki a smile. "What did you need help with?"

"My Creative Writing assignment," Vicki said slowly. "I know it sounds weird, but I have to go to a pond and get samples from different levels of the water, then make a detailed list of what's in them. Only problem is, I don't know where to go."

"What about your study partner?" Andy slipped into her jacket and wrapped a scarf around her neck. "I mean, I know the perfect place to get some samples, but why aren't they helping?"

"Well, we kind of both agreed that we needed to get different partners. It's a long story."

"So who's yours?"

"I don't know yet. We're going to talk to Mr. Lambert about it on Monday." Vicki pulled on her gloves and then shrugged into her heavy coat. "I really appreciate this, Andy. I know that you're kind of busy, but---"

"Vicki," Andy interrupted with a hand on her shoulder, "I'm never too busy to help you. Just ask, okay?" Vicki nodded silently and Andy gave her a small smile. "Come on, let's go find us some pond slime."

Vicki wrinkled her nose and opened the front door, rushing out into the cold January air with a squeal. "It better snow, or all this cold weather isn't going to be worth it."

Andy laughed and hurried to her Mustang, cranking on the heater as she started the car. It growled to life, drowning the airy roar of the fan. "It'll snow. In fact, it's supposed to do that this weekend."

"Oh, I hope so. My 'ex' study partner is going away this weekend on a skiing trip with Max's youth group. It would be great if they got a lot of fresh snow up there on Mt. Hood. I don't care how much he grumbles about it, he's really looking forward to it."

Andy passed her a smile and then looked out at the road with a slight scowl as she headed toward one of the city parks that had a pond.

"You seem to know a lot about this guy. How come he never comes around?"

"Well, he used to come around a little, but now that the article is done I really don't think I'm going to see him except in class. It's okay though. He needs some time by himself."

"What article?"

"Oh come on, Andy. You read it."

"'Athlete of the Month'?"

"Of course."

Morgan... Andy's fingers gripped the steering wheel. "You guys have spent a lot of time together, Vicki. That was a great article. How did you get to know so much about him?"

"We've done a lot of talking. He seemed to want to talk to me, like it had been something he'd wanted to do for awhile. It was weird, but I felt like God was pushing me to him."

Andy took in a slow breath and forced herself to relax her grip on the steering wheel. "Is that why Wil and you have been ignoring each other?"

"I haven't been ignoring him, he's been avoiding me. Ever since the beginning of the second semester Wil has been trying to get me to believe some awful things about Morgan. I tried to explain to him that I felt God needed me to be there for him, but Wil just wouldn't listen." Vicki shook her head and stared out the window with an exasperated sigh. "He was acting like he was jealous or something. I tried to tell him that Morgan was just a friend, but he wouldn't believe me."

Just a friend? Andy wanted to ask. Actually, she wanted to scream. All the things that Vicki had written about Morgan Roberts. The time spent to get the answers for her questions. The time spent studying together. Remember how her feelings for Wil blossomed? she reminded herself. You need to put away any thoughts of having Andy Modine start a relationship with him. Vicki might get hurt.

Andy sighed and turned the fan speed down to hide it. She'd been hoping that with Andromeda Lyn out of the picture she could have gotten Cora to introduce her to him as herself. But now... Vicki had already done so much for him and she just couldn't get in the way of something that could happen between the two of them. Even if she was going to be the one to pay the price.

I must not be ready for someone yet, she reasoned. I have to get my relationship with God stronger.

"So, are you and Wil still not talking? You guys have gone through too much to just stop being such close friends."

Vicki shrugged and fiddled with the fabric of her jacket. "I wouldn't say we've exactly stopped being friends."

"But you haven't called him to apologize, have you?" She couldn't stop herself from hoping Vicki didn't have any feelings for anybody but Wil. I want Morgan, she told God. "You haven't really talked about what really happened."

"I guess not," Vicki mumbled. "It's his fault, Andy. Every time I tried to go up to him to talk he just gave me a sad look and turned to walk the other way. How am I supposed to talk to him when he won't?"

Andy turned the car suddenly, making her way towards Wil's house. "I think this needs to be cleared up, Vicki."

"What?" Vicki's hands gripped her jacket pull string.

"You can't just let him think that you're choosing Morgan's friendship for his. It's not right. You'll hurt him."

"But I already told him that wasn't what I was doing."

"Have you shown him?"

"What do you mean?"

Vicki's voice was quiet and Andy knew that her younger sister understood what she was getting at. The reasons behind her first pushing Wil in Vicki's face were forgotten. She didn't want the two's friendship to be ruined. Lord, if Morgan and I aren't meant for each other then so be it, but I can't let Vicki's friendship with Wil be hurt. I'm trusting You with this.

"I mean that the moment you let Wil avoid you, it showed him that you had chosen Morgan as your friend and pushed him out of the picture." Andy took in a slow breath and watched for the house that she had nearly begun to call home. "Did you ever let Morgan avoid you when you were trying to get information for your article?"

"No. I know he tried to avoid me, but I kept after him," she admitted softly.

"That's what Wil needs, Vicki. He needs you to show him that you're not going to choose between the two, no matter what he feels about the subject."

Vicki nodded with a sigh as Andy pulled to a stop outside the Davis' home. "I guess you're right. Maybe I was just hoping I wouldn't have to do this."

"I don't blame you, Vicki. I know what you're going through."

Vicki sighed again and slowly got out of the Mustang. Andy watched her as she shuffled up the walk, then rested her head back against the seat. She closed her eyes and prayed for the one man who God had chosen to help her through the rest of her life. Prayed that he would be ready for what she would need. Prayed that she would be ready for what he would need from her.

But she knew that she had her heart set on one particular unsung hero.

Vicki cleared her throat and tucked a lock of hair behind her right ear before nervously adjusting her jacket and then knocking on the door.

"Coming!" came Wil's recognizable shout.

Vicki sighed deep as she clenched and unclenched her hands, trying to get herself ready for whatever might happen. Lord, please. I... I don't like being mad at Wil. And I don't like the fact that he's mad at me. The door opened to reveal Wil's smiling face, which immediately vanished. He looked down and Vicki swallowed hard. Lord, please.

"Hi," she said softly.

Wil grunted a reply as he moved his focus to the duty of picking at the edge of the door.

Vicki's throat tightened, but all she sensed from him was jumbled because of her own remorse and regret. "Wil..." She shook her head and noticed his quick glance. "Wil, I'm really sorry I made you mad. I didn't do it on purpose. I just... Morgan deserved that award. He's good, and you know it. Why else did you make him captain?"

Wil released a quick breath and finally focused on her. "Vicki, that wasn't the big thing. The thing was the fact that you wouldn't believe me. You ignored every thing I said and just hung out with him more! It drove me nuts!"

Vicki stretched her hands out toward him, eyes tearing up with the extreme sense of aggravation and irritation and hurt that bombarded her from him. "Wil, but I couldn't write him off. Everyone's done that to him, pushing him away just because he's a jerk. He's a jerk because he's scared! His mom's dying of cancer, Wil." Wil blinked. "He doesn't know how to talk to anyone about it, so he just roars and rants and picks fights because it's the only way he can vent how ticked off he is. Don't you remember how mad you were when Cory was hurt?"

Wil lowered his gaze. "I didn't know."

Vicki sighed. "I know you didn't, Wil. I didn't either until the interview." She stepped forward and rested a hand on his arm, throat tightening up. "I know you were probably right. That he was just using me to get the award, but I couldn't... I couldn't not give it to him just because of that. He deserves a break. He deserves... forgiveness. And if I can't give it to him, who else will?"

Wil released another quick breath before meeting her gaze. "I'm really sorry, Vicki. I... I didn't mean to be a jerk. It's just..." Wil's ears flushed and he looked down. "I was jealous."

"Jea–" Vicki blinked and felt her cheeks burn. "Jealous?" she repeated in a whisper.

A hand reached up to scrub his scalp as he sent her a sidelong glance. "Yeah."

Vicki swallowed hard and lowered her gaze. "Oh."

The silence that descended was heavy, and Vicki couldn't tell anything from it because of her own confusion and happiness and... something?

Wil rubbed at his arms and motioned inside with a tilt of his head. "Want to come in and play some video games? Cor's studying and I'm bored."

"I... uh..." Pond samples... Wil. Pond samples... Wil. Vicki peeked up at him, caught one look of his still red ears and timidly smiled. "Okay, but I've got to tell Andy. We were on our way to get pond slime."

Wil smirked. "Okay. I'll make some hot cider."

Vicki smiled wider and nodded before turning and hurrying back to the car to get her sister. Who knew a word like 'jealous' could make the world seem a lot brighter?

The End

Be sure to watch for the further adventures of Vicki, Wil,
and the gang in book 5,Silent Soldier.