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Repercussions
Chapter One
“I know that we’ve had our differences in the past couple of months,” the girl said in an anxious tone, “but, I was…well, I—Look, do you remember when we were kids? We used to play dress-up and pretend that we were so sophisticated and grown-up.” A sad smile came to her lips, “Seems like forever ago, doesn’t it?”
The girl sitting across from her shrugged in a careless manner. “It was forever ago. What precisely do you want, Marie? You’re rambling. And you only ramble when you’re nervous, so what are you so nervous about? You wanted to ask me something, so ask.”
“You always did know me best, Lynne.”
“I used to, anyway. I think we both know that is no longer true.”
“Yes. I suppose it isn’t. What I was trying to say though is that in all our fantasies and talks, we always talked about the future. Our future husbands, our future children, how the men would be best friends like us and the kids would play together…and we promised that we would be each other Godmothers. Remember?”
Lynne gave her cousin a calculating look. “I remember,” she said slowly, catching on to what her cousin evidently wanted.
“So, I thought that maybe you…Lee and I want you to be Hailey’s Godmother. It’d mean a lot to me—us; really it would, if you would agree.”
Lynne gazed down at her cousin’s large, round stomach. “You haven’t even bothered to speak to me in four months, Re, and now you want me to be your child’s Godmother? Why?”
“Because we promised each other,” Marie said stubbornly. “Ever since we were six years old, Lynne, we planned this.”
“We also planned to be a bit older than eighteen, Re. And we were still best friends in our plans, now weren’t we? Oh, and you remember that plan where we’d be each other’s Maid of Honor? You weren’t too keen to stick to that one, now were you?”
Marie gave an exasperated sigh. “Well what did you want me to do? You were the one that was damn negative all the time. You told me to my face not to get married. You called my soon-to-be husband a ‘pompous jackass’ and said that if I went through with the wedding that you would disown me. And you really thought that I’d make you my Maid of Honor after that?”
“So sorry, Re, I was unaware that I was supposed be happy that you had gotten yourself knocked up after two damn dates! Have you never heard of a condom? Jesus.”
“You know I don’t believe in them,” Marie said quietly. “What’s meant to happen is meant to happen. We as Christians are not supposed to interfere with God’s will. It was His will that I have this child, and so I am.”
“Oh, so it is His will that you be a whore and sleep with someone after knowing them for a whopping three days? Right, I must have missed that particular lesson in Sunday School, then.”
“I wish you wouldn’t say things like that. Look, I’m sorry that you feel that way. And I apologize for not making you my Maid of Honor. Had I known that you would be so hurt by it—”
“I was not hurt,” Lynne interfered stubbornly. “As if I really cared about your mockery of a wedding, honestly, you were married within three months of meeting him!”
“Can we not do this right now? I don’t really have a lot of time, and I know that you don’t either.”
“You’re right. I have class in fifteen minutes. But you wouldn’t know about that, would you? Because you just gave up all your dreams to sell out and marry and stay in that godforsaken town for the rest of your life.”
“Why do you always have to start? I drove all the way up here just to ask you this in person and you have to start on your speech. I’m happy, Lynne, but you wouldn’t know anything about that. I like being married, and I’m excited to have a child. I didn’t sell out, either. My dreams changed, all right? So maybe I’m not going to college, but that doesn’t make me some lowlife as you seem to view me. Can’t you just get off your high horse for two seconds and be happy for me?”
Happy for her, Lynne repeated silently. Happy that her cousin and former best friend had gone and gotten herself pregnant and married—and in that order? Lynne would sooner slit her own throat. They’d always discussed leaving their small town. They’d go to the same college, they’d room together, and then they would graduate and move. NYC would be best, but any big city would do, really. They would room together there, too, and eventually would be wealthy and successful and then they would get married and have children. That was the life was supposed to go, damn it. Instead, Marie had skipped over the best parts and went straight for the marriage and cradle. Well, that was just fine. But Lynne thought it unfair to have to play the role of happy cousin.
“Do you want me to lie to you? Do you want me to sit here and gush about how big you’re getting and how exciting it all is? Fine, Re. We’ve been through enough that if you want me to do that, if you want to play pretend one last time, I will.”
“I’m not asking you to be fake. I’m just…Oh, I don’t know what I’m asking. You better get to class, I suppose. Just think about it, okay? I really would like for you to be Hailey’s Godmother. Goodbye, Lye.”
“Later, Re,” Lynne said quietly as she grabbed her book bag and dashed for class. She was going to be late…but somehow she didn’t quite mind. As she walked she mused over her cousin’s usage of her nickname. Marie would always be “Re” to her. She had called her Re for as long as she could remember…and she was the only one to do so.
Re had thought it unfair that Lynne didn’t have a nickname, though. But there is only so much one can do with the name Lynne. So Re, with all the creativity that she could muster at seven, came up with Lye. Spelled differently, of course, but Lynne had been angry at the time that her nickname was such a vile word as lie.
She’d grown used to it over the years, though. In fact, Re and Lye became sacred to them. It signified everything they had been through in some weird way. No one else dared attempted to say the nicknames. It was their thing, and everyone knew it.
But it had been months since Re called her Lye. She hadn’t even realized that she missed it.
Her confusion was strong. She was torn between two people—Marie and Re. Marie was married. Marie was about to become a mother. Marie had been a complete bitch for the past six months. She hated Marie.
Re was her cousin. Re had been her best friend since before she could remember. Re was there when Lynne found out that her dad had cancer. Re was the one to comfort her, to hug her as she cried in the bathroom of a Pizza Hut. Re had been there for her during the worst months of her life. She loved Re. But Re was dead and Marie had taken her place.
Lynne was torn between her memories and the reality of the present. At one time she would have said truthfully and without a moment’s hesitation that she would do anything for Re. Even lay down her own life if it be required. But Re had changed drastically after—well, she didn’t wish to think of it. All she’d thought about all summer was that. Re was no more, and it would do no good to pretend that Marie was the same person now. And she couldn’t say in all honesty that she would do anything for Marie. And a large part of that came from the fact that Marie had proven that she wouldn’t do anything for Lynne.
But…Lynne felt the memories trapping her. Nearly eighteen years of good memories and six months of bad times. In the end, time won out and Lynne flipped open her cell phone. She dialed the number that she knew by heart and waited for a familiar voice to pick up.
When she did answer, Lynne wasted no time on false pleasantries.
“I’ll do it,” she said simply. She listened to Marie’s thank you and promptly hung up. It’s not like it meant anything. Not really, anyway. Godparents are just formal terms. She’d already be related to the child, now she’d just have a closer relation on paper than second cousin.
Lynne sighed and leaned back in her chair. This isn’t how it was supposed to be. Being a Godmother to Marie’s child was not supposed to feel like an obligation to the past. A tear slipped down her cheek which Lynne hastily brushed away. She wouldn’t cry over Marie, she told herself.
But I’m not crying over Marie, she realized, I’m crying for Re.
Oh, and sorry if the whole Marie/Re thing confused anyone. I know that I sometimes think of one person being two different types of people (as I do with my cousin) and I think of her as such at times. So if it seemed weird to anyone…well, I’m a tad weird, so that should just explain it.
Okay, I’m going to stop rambling now and go to bed. Review, please!