|A Series Of Implausible Events
Author: djsaxon2 PM
The long awaited fifth part of The Series Of Implausible Events series. I'd like to warn that the story is in no way a parody of Lemony Snicket, i just plaugrised his spiffy name. Please Read and Review.Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Humor - Chapters: 5 - Words: 2,115 - Reviews: 27 - Favs: 5 - Updated: 01-27-05 - Published: 12-20-04 - id: 1787013
|A+ A- Full 3/4 1/2 Expand Tighten|
A Series of Implausible Events - Part 5
A man sits on the edge of seat, his legs crossed. He leans foward, and consequently falls off, having been on the edge already. He gets back up.
Man: Hello all. My name is Lily Almond-Bustimetable, and i'm from the People Opposed to Other People's Silliness (POOPS). Now, while POOPS encourages and ever forces at umbrella-point the silliness of it's members, it in no way endorses the silliness of others. In light of the latest spate of maulings, i have decided to-
Lily is cut off as he is ferociously cut down by a polar bear. They go behind a screen, and the sounds of shredding and general dismemberment is heard. The bear then emerges from the screen alone, and sits down on the chair, in the exact pose Lily had been in just a few moments ago.
Bear: Hello all. My name is Roger, and i am here from the Bear-Band Opposed to Predjudice (B-BOP). B-BOP have released the following statement, and i am here to read it to you, the people, today.
Roger holds up sheet of paper and clears his throat. He now begins to read
Roger: "The B-BOP wishes to reassure you all that the maulings have come to an end. Well, apart from that one we just did, and the one next Tuesday, but nobody liked old Ms Wallis anyway, so lets forget about that. As far as we know, there are no more planned eatings. Although we havent actually checked, and have no control over them. B-BOP wishes you all a safe and happy month, and we hope that the displeasure is now over."
Roger puts down the sheet of paper and looks down the camera. He now puts on a sickly patronizing voice
Roger: Well, isnt that nice, boys and girls. Now, its time for your story, before naptime.
Screen switches to a site, off location.
Voiceover Roger: One day, Old Ms Wallis was sitting alone in her cabin.
Ms Wallis: Nobody likes me.
A bear is seen jumping from the side of the screen, and the screen goes blank just before he touches her.