Disclaimer - Disclaimer? What Disclaimer?

Author's Note - It started out as helping a friend with an English assignment -- free verse on insecurity and loneliness and stuff. It ended up being me pouring so much into it I kept typing and I wanted to post it. So yea . . . here you go.

Destruction
Sapphire Jewel

Coming into this world
This world of mass destruction
The feelings that welled and swallowed me whole
Overwhelmed every fiber of my being,
No comfort did I find.

My hopes of companionship,
Were seemingly demolished,
For I was left alone to the darkness
Which strived to consume my very being

I felt as if I could try no more
This heart of mine
Had bled dry for love
With hope of finding at least
One single trace of company

Failure I found
As the world proved cruel
Its harshness shocked my soul
Into a silence undefeated

How could they be so heartless
How could they be so cold
Are they that easily blinded by the lies that they are told?

How can they stand alone
In this place so barbaric
How can they stand alone
When it threatens to buckle the will of one such as I?

No being can be so strong
As to reject any shred of friendship
For no one can rely solely on themself
In the universe in which we reside

Am I going to be absorbed into the threatening shadows
Am I destined to drown in the pool of blackness tugging at my heels?
Has fate decided that I am unworthy of living
Of living in this so-called paradise?

Because if this is so, then why have I not died?
If all that was said is true, why do I exist?
Tell me the reason in living
I don't want to live a lie
I don't want to live a meaningless life

Why were we created?
Why were we made?
Why do we have to suffer?

Do not tell me that without suffering . . .
Compassion does not exist
For it is clear that even with the pain
Compassion does not exist

We were not meant to be alone
We were not meant to be isolated
It is for the sadistic pleasures of mankind
That we fight so hard in the struggle for existence

It is because of the sadists in the world
That meanings have been given to the words
Solitude
Loneliness
Helplessness
Hurt

Solitude exists for those who do not belong
But modern society is full of conformists
Who dare not disobey the unspoken law
Who then would befriend the enemy?

Surely not modern society who sees it as wrong
Rather, they leave the individual in his own world
To live a hopeless life
To live in a darkness so immense that no light can penetrate it

We call it loneliness, that ache in the heart to just feel at home
Somewhere
Anywhere

They leave the individual without any defenses
Turning blind eyes to the helplessness that oozes from the soul
He soon discovers there is no pity in this place he used to call fondly "home"
All that's left is pain in its purest form
Tainting every being until they become the inflictors of the pain that they so witnessed

Can a true human being blame someone for being so afraid?
Once they have seen the truth?
Can they blame an individual who fears facing the world alone?
The world and all its agony?
Can they blame an individual when he shrinks from social contact which seeks only to destroy?

There is no more trust in this world
It is so evident that I can feel the radiating negativity
I can taste the despair that has seeped into the corpses of men
And I can feel my own hopes failing and suffocating my soul

Soon I will become one of them
For there is no battle that will commence
Because I'm dying deep inside
With no one there to help
Yes, I will become one of the living dead
For there's no way to survive

/----------/----------/----------/----------/

Comments? Flames? Anything? Come on, I'm begging here. Onegai?

Um . . . no, I did not use spellcheck . . . I was a little lazy.

And if you want to e-mail me: kokoryhurradragon at yahoo dot com.

Fictionpress and fanfiction seem to have something against e-mail addresses right now . . .