you’re that point of reference with
animal eyes and magical
hated hair, skinny
clean blue wrists striped green with blood
and you’re that repulsive, despised
too-quick whisper and corroded ears, hiding
in that corner and the sleeves pulled down,
double thickness of soft for a shield, or
peace of mind, hands away and clenched
and jaw grinding on nothing,
tense for nothing, ready for everything
hoping for something

you’re that quiet disregarded, burning
brain cells on copper and steel
fixed industrial-strength but it’s not working
dissolving occasionally and coalescing
wrong,
you’re that spinning wizard of blank
sick to your stomach and sick to your brain
and never
empty
enough

you’re that muttering laugh and the smiling
rage and sweetness dealt with, rotting
teeth and bones to black and hate
but you know
it’s just for now—healed by acid words and
sparkling dreams with another waking-up-and-smelling-the-coffee
bitter this time around
you’re a convoluted twist of metal, sparks racing and falling
over each other to connect incorrect,
you’re not helping anything—

this isn’t human

you’re not human