A/N: This was written as Christmas present for Shadow (pen name: vampireof shadows) and I thought I'd share it with everyone. Hope whoever reads it likes it

Jared

It was cold. Well, it was nearly Christmas so of course it was cold. As I walked I noted that the field the road ran alongside was covered in ice. Instead of a sea of green it was an off white colour. Beautiful. There were lots of large bushes, that are actually a lot closer to being trees. I liked to find the gaps and crawl in there and just sit for a while. Peaceful.

On this particular walk I could hear the footsteps behind me, making more noise than my too long jeans dragging along the floor, and the random buckles that adorned my body clinking. There were a lot of them, compared to my lone self. I still had cuts and bruises from last time we met, assuming they were the same people. Wouldn’t surprise me if they weren’t.

I knew better than to alter my pace. Didn’t entertain thoughts of getting away. It had happened too many times by this point, so I just did nothing to make things worse. I did nothing to try and help myself. I was resigned to the situation. Used to it.

“Hey, Boy!” Boy was my name to them. Never once had I spoken to them. Wasn’t planning on it. I tended to speak as little as possible. Didn’t want to draw undue attention to myself, which found me anyway.

“Boy-o!” The ringleader called. I slowed my pace but didn’t actually stop. It was enough. They surrounded me. I just focused on the ringleader. He was taller than me, then again everyone was. I thought that he had nice eyes. They were a green-blue colour. Captivating. Sometimes I thought I would like to drown in those depths.

“Still don’t wanna talk?” Pretty Eyes asked. I shook my head. He came closer to me and I could see a cut on his lip, a bruise on his neck. I wondered who beat him up. I don’t blame him for coming after me. I don’t care. It helps me anyway because at least I get to feel something. I don’t say anything, if I did it might shatter my reality. Then what would happen? I wasn’t inclined to find out.

He drew closer, ready to hit me. I thought I saw a sad smile. It didn’t matter because in the next instant the punch landed. I welcomed the pain. Each punch, each kick, more comforting than a lover’s caress. Not that I’d know.

Then I was alone again. I didn’t want to go home. I didn’t think that I’d be able to make it anyway. I saw one of the large bush-tree hybrids and I made my way over there. I didn’t stray too far in, when dark fall, which wouldn’t be too long, I might not find the entrance. I didn’t like being trapped. Instead I rested my head on one of the thicker branches. A make-shift pillow. Then the darkness claimed me.

Blake

I hate Winter. It has to be the worst season, everything is all icy which causes trouble, like slippery pavements. I had to walk carefully otherwise I’d end up on my ass, which would get me attention, something I loved, but the embarrassment factor may cancel that out. I just wasn’t going to bother to investigate it so I just made my way carefully.

I don’t know why but I’d chosen to go a different way home than normal. Variety is the spice of life after all, and I knew variety all too well. It was one of the only perks of coming from quite a well to do family. Of course the fact that I got dragged to so many stupid formal affairs cancelled that out. I hated them. They were just so tediously dull although that many people meant that there was, generally, quite a bit of eye candy around, so at least that made up for it. A little. Although the interest was immediately gone if said candy was just handed to me willy-nilly. It wasn’t worth it if you didn’t need to work for it, didn’t need to prove yourself or whatever. The way to get me interested was to deny me of what I wanted, then I’d make sure that the thing in question became mine! Of course once I acquired it the fun, once again, was missing.

My breath misted in front of me, which I focused on because it was really just a boring walk, with nothing of interest, nothing that I wanted. There was a field, all icy and calm, and the child in me longed to go over and play, just to let the hard blades crunch beneath my shoes. I really was tempted. That’s probably why I ended up walking towards the field and some weird bushes that might actually be trees. I wasn’t into nature so I really couldn’t tell, and it’s not like I actually cared so I let the subject slip from my mind.

It must have been chance, because there were plenty of different ways to get to that alluring field, but I happened to walk pass two of those little bush trees, so I made my way casually, like it was the most normal thing to do to be sulking about the greenery, when I spotted something. Something that I really thought shouldn’t be there. It looked like a person. Shit! It wasn’t a dead body was it? At that point I really began freaking out because it wasn’t really something that you came across everyday, or, for most people, ever. ‘It better not be a dead body,’ I thought as I edged towards it. Although if the person happened to be dead at least he, I thought it was a guy, it kind of looked like one from a distance, wouldn’t do any harm to me.

It was a guy, no doubt about it. He looked nice, peaceful. Well, okay, he’d clearly been beaten up but otherwise he looked good, and he seemed like he was getting a nice rest, that he needed to be sleeping right then. ‘I hope he wakes up…’ I found myself staring at his bruised face. I couldn’t leave him there! That would be cruel and heartless, besides I hadn’t taken in a stray for a while. But how on earth was I meant to get him home?

Jared

I was slowly coming to my senses. My first thought was to note that I was waking up once again. Maybe next time would be the eternal slumber. My second thought was to realise that the place didn’t feel right. It was warm. Comfy. Before I was definitely outside. Besides it didn’t feel like my house so something had to be amiss.

One eye opened then immediately closed. Damn it was bright! I always woke in darkness so I really wasn’t at home. So where was I? Steeling myself for the assault of light I opened the same eye. Wasn’t as bad that time. The other opened and I was staring at somebody. Male. My age. Attractive. I thought I recognised him from my Chemistry class. He had a dopey smile plastered to his face. I still didn’t know where I was.

“Hi,” he said cheerily. I groaned. I hated waking up and he was too perky. I also didn’t talk much to people so I held my silence. I didn’t talk to Pretty Eyes and I sure as hell wasn’t going to talk to Dopey Grin. Even if it did make him look cute, like a puppy. I’d always wanted a pet, but my dad had said no. maybe I could have one now he wasn’t around.

Dopey Grin had wanted me to respond. I knew that but still didn’t. I wanted to leave, but it was made difficult by one small problem. My clothes were in a neat pile on a chair. Not on me then. At least I had my underwear. Dopey Grin might have sneaked a peak though. I knew I blushed. I shouldn’t think of myself like that because no-one actually wanted me.

“I’m Blake,” he supplied. He had auburn hair and warm hazel eyes. If he was a season he looked like he’d be Autumn. I didn’t like Autumn but Winter was worse. It meant that there were no leaves on my tree-bushes. Maybe that’s why he’d seen me before. I wondered what time it was but wouldn’t ask. I knew that I should just get up, retrieve my clothes and go. But it was embarrassing to wander round in my black boxers with his soft eyes watching me.

“So you don’t have a name then?” He seemed amused. I thought ‘He never asked for my name.’ Even if he had I would keep silent. I only ever spoke if I had to. Managed to get away with being nearly silent in all my classes. “Well,” he continued, “I’ll have to pick a name for you.”

I watched him consider it. He looked intelligent sat there considering it like it was a hard maths problem. Maths was boring, but I thought it would be nice to watch him concentrate on the work. Not that I planned on spending longer than necessary with him.

“Sexy goth guy,” he decided and I was confused. I thought he was thinking about me. Not that I wanted that. I just wanted to leave. Yeah.

I think he saw my confused look. I also think he smirked a little. “Shall I explain?” I nodded slightly but I think that he noticed it. Either way he continued. “Well you’re male hence the ‘guy’ part. You were wearing goth type clothes,” he pointed to the neat pile. My baggy black pants, tight long sleeved black top. Leather jacket. Various bits of jewellery. “So that’s where the ‘goth’ part comes in. And even though you looked a little worse for wear you still looked pretty damn sexy.” I’m almost sure he was smirking that time.

At his comments he blushed. Then realised he must be gay. Or bi. And I was practically naked in his bed. ‘Which part of this was good?’ I worried.

Blake

There was something about the goth who was lying in my bed practically naked that I wanted. I wasn’t sure if it was because he was sexy, because he wasn’t the usual type of person that I went for, or if it was just because he was such a mystery, but either way I wanted him. Not that I’d do much whilst he wasn’t willing, and judging by the horrified expression he had he wasn’t, after all I wasn’t in the business of rape. ‘Maybe a little into the non-consensual groping though,’ I thought with a smirk.

“Hey, what’s that expression for?” I asked, keeping my voice as innocent as possible, and hopefully my expression as well. His grey eyes looked down, and his fingers picked at the edge of the patterned blanket that I’d but over the duvet, figuring that he might be cold after sleeping outside when it was Winter. And it’s not like he was wearing a lot.

I wondered if he could actually talk. Maybe he got beat up because he couldn’t so he was an easy target. But before I could find out the reasons behind it all I had to try and get him to talk to me, but it was okay. I always did like a challenge.

Jared

He was looking at me. Kind of like he wanted me. That had to be wrong. Please say that was wrong. As soon as he left the room I was going to leave. Right that was my plan. Well, first I’d get some clothes on. It was just a matter of time, but until then I was forced to deal with his unwanted attempts at conversation.

“So can you actually talk?” he asked. I considered shaking my head but instead opted to be truthful. Nod. He looked a little surprised I think. Maybe he thought I was mute then.

“Are you going to talk to me?” ‘Not if I can help it,’ I thought. Shaking my head. It might have been my imagination but he looked a little downhearted at that. Not that I cared or anything. “Oh,” he whispered softly. I felt a little bad. Wait! Why should I? I was the one who was prisoner in his house!

“Blake!” A feminine voice called from downstairs. At the sound Dopey Grin sighed. He didn’t seem half as happy as he had before. I thought that he looked a lot cuter when he was smiling. Without realising I started to draw him into a hug. It was what my sister used to do when I was sad. Upon realisation my boring grey eyes widened. But at least Dopey Gr- Blake- looked happier.

With what looked like a genuine smile he told me, “I’ll be back as soon as I get away from the Queen Bitch.” Then he left me alone. I could try and escape now. If I wanted.

Blake

Even the looming ‘conversation’ with my step mum didn’t dull the joy that ‘sexy, hopefully gay, goth guy’ had hugged me of his own free will. It made me think there was a chance. Wait… didn’t I normally like the thrill of the chase? As soon as it started to look too easy the interest began to diminish. Sure it wasn’t over yet, but still, normally I’d be getting bored. Instead I was finding myself more fascinated. That wasn’t normal.

But I shouldn’t complain right? Because it made things easier, I never really took pleasure in telling people I wouldn’t really care if I never spoke to them again, but it had to be done because it would be far worse just to lead them all on. I wasn’t that heartless.

“Why aren’t you getting ready?” Was the first thing out of her mouth, not even a greeting. It was safe to say I had no idea what she was talking about. She had to have seen the blank expression I wore. “The dinner tonight…” She supplied. ‘Dinner?’ I pondered before it hit me. ‘Shit!’ I was meant to met some bimbo, meant to help keep me on the straight and narrow. It wouldn’t work, it never did and yet my step mum insisted on arranging them. Normally I complied because it was possible to met all sorts whilst there but this time? I wanted to stay home and talk to my new project. Now if only he’d talk back.

“Yeah… I think I’ll give it a miss,” I told her. Boy, was she not pleased. I wouldn’t have been too surprised if she had literally exploded. It would have made a big mess though. I wondered if Goth was very domesticated or not. I also wondered what his story was because surely you didn’t just decide one day that it would be fun to stop talking. And when I was dressing his wounds he didn’t seem to have defended himself at all. No defensive wounds and no injuries on his hands to indicate he’d fought back. I thought that I’d have done quite a lot right then to have him tell me.

Jared

If I wanted. Did I though? I didn’t want to go home, that much I was sure of. Did that mean I wanted to be here? Well, surely they weren’t the only two options. I wondered what Dop-Blake- would do if I just never left. Even if I did see lust in his eyes it wouldn’t last. He’d want rid of me. It would hurt but was that such a bad thing?

I started to get out the bed, but ended up just perched on the edge. I had various dressing on my wounds. Blake must have sorted them out. That was nice of him. I was curious, wanted to know why he hadn’t just left me. I was torn. I wanted to talk to him but that meant he’d ask me questions. Questions I didn’t want to answer. I’d avoided them so far, I was going to keep it that way. It would be easier if I left. So why didn’t I?

“You should go back to bed,” Blake interrupted my thoughts in a soft voice. I shook my head. I thought I’d feel better if he was with him. I should escape. Should. I patted the bed next to me. He smiled and sat there, not saying anything. It was all silent. His left cheek was red. I tentatively raised my right hand to it. He was still smiling, still silent. We were more similar than I’d originally guessed.

He sighed softly and I wondered what thoughts were crossing his mind. I was almost considering speaking when he did first. “You should rest. I’ll leave you to it.” he left the room as I got back into bed, curious as to why I did as he said.

Blake

I was afraid of what I’d do if I stayed around him so I’d told him to get some rest. He’d need it if I had my way. I should send him on his way, but I knew that I wouldn’t do that unless I knew what I was sending him away to. What a mess.

I attempted to sleep. Attempted and failed miserably I might add. My thoughts were racing, and going round in circles so I suppose it wasn’t too surprising I was lying in near darkness staring up at the ceiling. I needed to stretch my legs, maybe if I wandered about I’d get tired and then I’d fall into an exhausted slumber. Yeah, right.

It wasn’t like I planned it, at least not consciously, but I ended up stood in the doorway of the guest room that I’d left Goth in. Just watching, all perfectly innocent. Well, if one happened to ignore the direction my thoughts were headed. It was strange, I’d never wanted someone this much, and I was beginning to wonder that if he decided that he wanted me would I stay this time? Normally I didn’t, I couldn’t stand it but… well it was pointless. He’d probably want to leave in the morning and I’d be powerless to stop him.

I realised that I was stood over his bed. My feet had to stop doing things of their own accord, although I shouldn’t complain because he look peaceful whilst sleeping, even better than before because his cuts had been cleaned so he didn’t look quite so battered. not that he didn’t do the look justice.

I leaned down, and gently pressed my lips to his forehead, intending it as a goodnight kiss before making my escape, but somehow I was trailing kisses until I was at his lips. I shut my eyes as I realised that I must be in pretty deep if I was doing this sort of stuff. When I opened them I noticed his emotionless grey ones watching me impassively. I knew I was blushing, I felt like an idiot at being caught doing such a low thing.

He brought his own lips up to mine, and kissed me, devoid of any passion, but I was so besotted by him that I returned the kiss, with enough passion for the two of us. I placed kisses along his neck, suckling on the tender flesh there, but all I got for my efforts was him, stiff as a board and not in the good way. He didn’t want this, one look into his eyes told me that he couldn’t care less, and I pulled away with a curse.

Jared

I watched him leave, still feeling no emotion. I would have let him do whatever. It was just another way to help me forget. Because so long as I felt something I didn’t care if it was bad. Mostly I felt so listless, so dead. The pain convinced me that I was alive. Then I knew that I’d be able to actually die and not just feel like I was. I knew my sister would be sad if I killed myself the way she’d done, so I’d let someone else do it, or nature.

Blake wanted me. Why else would he sneak in during the night? I thought I might be happy with the thought but I wasn’t sure. I don’t think it would have been horrible if he hadn’t stopped. Maybe I should ask him to try again. He probably didn’t want to see me again. He didn’t look happy when he left. He looked nice when he was happy. I found myself wanting to see his smile. That was odd.

I dragged myself out the bed. The carpet felt nice under my bare feet. I wanted to find him. I wandered around, looking in doors. I found a bathroom, an airing cupboard and an office before finding a bedroom. It was another spare one. Then I opened the fifth door. He was lying on the bed. I perched on the edge of it.

He looked over. I smiled, he groaned. I couldn’t play my game no longer. “I’m sorry,” I whispered, not used to the sound of my own voice. His eyes were red. He’d been crying but attempted a smile.

“You didn’t do anything wrong,” he told me. I thought it was a lie. I’d done plenty wrong in my life. He wouldn’t like me if he knew. I wanted to comfort him, even if I was dirty and couldn’t do much.

There was a moment of awkward silence before I was next to him. Holding him. Wanting him.

Blake

It felt good to have him there, I wasn’t even embarrassed that he’d seen me with my eyes red from crying and snivelling slightly. I wanted to stay in that embrace forever, but I knew it wouldn’t happen. Well, I didn’t know that but what else would happen? Like I was capable of having a normal relationship. I analysed all my other relationships.

Mother. Dead. Never knew her. Step mum, evil bitch, hated her. Father. Barely speak to him, probably for the better though. I’d never been in love, barely even in lust, but I always felt like I needed to have someone, preferably not handed to me on a platter.

Then there was him. A stray goth that I’d found and decided to help. But was I even helping him? Probably not. I was just being selfish. Like I always was. I never thought about the people I was hurting by trying to form bonds with people. I just cared about what I got out of it, which to be perfectly honest wasn’t a lot.

I didn’t want to say the next part but… “You should leave in the morning.”

Jared

Leave? I’d wanted to before. Now? I wasn’t so sure. I couldn’t help the hurt expression. I guess I really wasn’t wanted. I whimpered a little. Wanted to say ‘no’ but it was his house. Yet he seemed reluctant to let go of me. It suited me just fine.

I pushed him down onto the bed. Straddled his hips. I leaned forward to capture his lips, this time I meant every action. It wasn’t just an attempt to forget the pain. This time I wanted to lose myself in the pleasure. I didn’t stop to think that I was still forgetting whilst I lost myself.

Our lips locked, tongues exploring, probing. His hand ran circles at the small of my back. It was comforting. I thought it made me happy. I wanted him to be happy.

I sucked on his collar bone. Left side, right side, back to the left. Then little kisses up and down his neck. Then his chest moving steadily to his stomach. Then back up again.

I teased the flesh around his right nipple. He moaned softly. I hoped we were home alone. In my mouth it hardened, and I did the same at the other side.

Blake

I didn’t even know his name yet. I suppose it didn’t matter, but it made me feel cheap, desperate but I could barely follow a thought process because he was making me feel so good. He started moving back downwards, his hands tugging at the waistband of my boxers. Then they were discarded on my navy carpet, and his hands were busy caressing me, driving me insane.

He took me to the edge, then dragged me away from it. I was about ready to scream in frustration, but the urge quickly changed to wanting to moan and whimper as he started using his mouth. I had to be quiet though, I couldn’t remember who was about the house. He seemed unpractised but I didn’t care. I wanted him and now I had him. I just hoped it would last a long time.

I came and he smiled up at me, looking adorable. I wished that he was a stray animal, then I’d be able to keep him indefinitely. I saw that he was hard and returned his smile, then changed our positions so that I was on top.

I kissed his head, then ran my tongue along the underside of his penis before relaxing my throat muscles and taking him in my mouth. His moans spurred me on and I felt blissful, happy, content.

Jared

He was driving me insane with his mouth. I think that I finally knew what it was like to be happy. I didn’t want him to tell me to leave. I wanted to stay here, where I was… happy. Where I could feel something so good. “Blake!” I gasped as I came, feeling totally relaxed.

He lay next to me, pulling me close and I felt safe. “Thank you,” I whispered. I wanted him to know how much it meant to me.

“It’s okay,” he replied softly. “Just go to sleep. I’ll be here in the morning.” I didn’t mind that I was in a strange place. With someone I barely knew. And for the first time in many years I went to sleep wanting to wake up in the morning.