Summary: hi again. Ok this is my most proud piece of work. This is the longest smut I have ever written (8 pages!) and it makes you feel almost caught in the act because its so normal… anyways, this is all thanks to my plot bunnies and my beta Emma (thank you so much glomp).

Warning: small kink, implied rape, a lot off history and switching of sexual roles.

POV: terry's (its his time to top)

Rating: hard R

Oh, onwith the show!

In the car, in a hotel room, in the bathroom at school, at the therapist's office, in our bed, I listed off in my head. Where haven't we fucked? I watched Sam as he carried the laundry basket into the washroom. That was his chore for the day, as mother was gone. I'd already cleaned the dishes and mopped the kitchen floor,sothen I busied myselfcounting out the numerous areas we've gotten laid at.

I stretched out on the sofa and rested my head on the armrest, watching as Sam strolled past again, getting a good look under his baggy t-shirt. It was a lazy day and we walked around in our shorts andbaggy shirts, and Sam let his long hair out of the ponytailto flow down his shoulders. My eyes followed him as he walked into our mother's room. That's it! Oh, Ma would be so mad at us… I quickly walked from the sofa and into her room, getting more aroused with every thought.

In the dim light, I found Sam bent over, sorting through the different clothes that had fallen out of the toppled-over laundry basket. As he plucked the different shirts and pants from the floor, I snuck up behind him and gripped his waist, pulling him to me.

"Oh, hi Ter," he said casually as he leaned himself back, moving his ass against my growing arousal. I let out a soft groan before I turned him around in my arms and kissed him.

Even though he still had work to do, he didn't complain as my tongue slid into his mouth. He tastes so sweet, like the coffee he made this morning. He didn't protest as my hands circled over his chest. He let out a yelp when I squeezed his nipple through his top. "Aren't you aggressive today?" heinquired as I backed him into the bed. Pushing him back, I chuckled as he hit the mattress.

I quickly sat on him, pinning him to the bed before he could move.

"What the hell-" he started, but exploded in laughter as I began to tickle his sides. He kicked, squiggled, and pleaded under me, trying desperately to stop this sensory attack. When I feared I would get tossed off, I stopped tickling, only to pull his shirt off, placing it by his head.

"Here?" he asked through needy pants as my hands touched as much of his hot skin as I could, running repeatedly over his sensitive upper arms.

"Why not?" I whispered his ear.

"First off, if Ma finds out, she'll rip our balls off. Okay, more likely to rip off mine because she blames me for us." His voice caught in his throat as I sucked and nibble at the hollow of his neck. "Ohh… Second of all, it's weird and wrong to do this in her room!" I sat up and looked him in the eye as I took off my shirt placing it right next to his.

"Remember, that's what most of the world thinks about us." Sam gave me a sad smile. He knew all to well that I was right. Not even two months ago I was in the loony hospital and he was with bible thumpers, both getting punished for loving one another. Its very depressing the world had to be so close-minded.

His hands ran up my side lovingly.

"Don't think about that. We know that we're not wrong. There are no demons telling us to abuse our family."

"And no brain tumor tricking our subconscious into thinking about a same-sex sibling as a lover." We laughed. "Now, where was I?" I asked, leaning down to capture his lips. Instinctively, his hands held my head and his eyes closed. As I melted into that sweet kiss and cupped my hand on his, my eyes wandered and spotted the t-shirts above his head.

Hmmm... "Keep your eyes closed," I whispered to him before leaning back. With his eyes shut, I brought his hand to my lips, kissing the palm. He had always had hypersensitive hands, so I knew this would distract him as my other hand reached for one of the shirts. Sucking and licking at his fingers, I suddenly felt him rubbing my hard-on through the material. I thrust my hips forward, rocking myself against him as I sucked his fingers back into my mouth. His moans encouraged him and I quickly removed his fingers and wrapped his hand in the t-shirt and tied it to the bedpost in an 8 pattern.

Sam's eyes shot open and looked at me. As caught I his other hand and tied it the same way, his expression changed from puzzled, to wary, then to amusement. He let out a chuckle as I shifted my body, moving myself in-between his legs as I continued my torture on him.

"Since when are you so kinky?" he asked.

With a smirk, I tightened the bonds on his wrist, spreading his torso out. As I ran my fingers down his muscles, my eyes moved up to his. Those sapphire orbs shined with trust, but still rung with panic and fear. I have seen this look before, but not for more than just a second. Not wanting him to panic, I gently kissed my way from his shoulder, to the hollow of his neck, to his jawbone. His eyes closed and his breath evened out as my lips kissed over his face.

"Are you okay?" I murmured.

His eyes opened and he nodded.

"I'm fine…mmmm..." he hummed in the back of his throat, as my mouth moved back to his chest. Trapping his nipple between my teeth, I carefully nibbled on him, not hard enough to bleed, but enough to iritate the skin. Meanwhile, my hands were working there way down his legs, rubbing his inner thighs. He spread his legs open around me and let out some encouraging sighs.

"More," he whimpered, as I released that reddened flesh and blew cold air on it.

"How much more?" I asked, rubbing my hands over the tented material of his shorts. He moaned my name and pushed his head back into the pillow, pulling at his restraints. His soft creamy thighs leaned into my touch as my fingers began to pull down his shorts. His hips arched up to meet me, rubbing his ass against my covered erection.

My groan echoed his. "What do you want?"

Licking his parched lips, he rested his head against the cushion attempting to breath normally.

"I want…you to…fuck me," he said against the pleasure of my strokes. My hand stilled. 'What? What did he say? Am I hearing things?'

"What did you say?" He let out a soft sigh as he closed his eyes, thinking, before he opened them again and looked back up at me.

"I want you to fuck me. Take me, like I have you." Still in shock, I balanced myself on my knees and rested my hands on his hips as I look down at him.

"But what about…" I didn't have to finish for him to know what I was going to say. He sighed again, still closing his eyes to think.

"Because of those pricks, I occasionally panic when we're together. I know you won't hurt me, but I need to be sure. My body is in your hands."

I hovered above him, eyes closed, trying to digest his request. It's not that I don't want him, but I worry so much about his state of mind. And my lack of experience, I thought

"But I haven't- you know…I've never done that before." My face flushed and my eyes closed subconsciously to hide my embarrassment. His lips pushing against mine surprised me.

"You were the first I've topped, and I've done it to you many times." He ended his sentences with soft kisses before resting his head back on the pillow. "I'll walk you through it. Don't worry. I know you won't hurt me."

My soul rested on his lips; so soft and confident. He could always make me feel as if I had the greatest chance in the world even if there was no way in hell I could do it. As this gentle and tender kiss deepened, my hands roamed over his arms and chest. His arms tensed under my fingers as I rubbed his shoulders. "Do you want me to release you?" I asked when I finally broke free of the kisses.

"No. I'll fight if I'm released." I looked at him with an arched eyebrow. If he wants me to force myself on him, I'm not going to. He sighed again; something was going through his mind because his eyes closed and it was starting to alarm me. "I don't want to be afraid of being topped. I want you to help me not be afraid. I trust you not to hurt me." He repeated the last part more to himself than to me.

I kissed him again, first softly, trying so hard to comfort him. However, it grew hotter as my roaming hand rubbed against his semi-hard cock. He whimpered against my lips before I descended to his neck.

"So, how do I do this?" My cold breath against his ear sent him into shivers. His hips rose wantonly to meet the gentle strokes I had continued to give him as my teeth trapped his earlobe. Tightening my grip, I switch between a few light strokes to a powerful stride. After letting out beautiful cry, he finally gasped the answer to my question.

"As much as I don't want you to move, you're gonna need the lube and a rubber." Having left his neck and ear, I returned to his chest. Latching onto his nipple, my hand abandoned his cock in favor for those creamy thighs. He shivered before continuing. "Mmmm, if we were in our room, we wouldn't have this problem, and I doubt you want to go and find them in here." I laughed against his chest before blowing air on him again. "God, you're torturing me... Go into the second drawer by our beds and they're there."

Reluctantly, I lifted myself from him and walked from the room, not caring that I was only in boxers. With a quick trip to the bedroom, I wondered if I wasreally wanted this, about my virginity, about him. I've wanted to give my virginity to him since I hit puberty, but am I ready for this? Is he ready for this? Even though I want this to happen, I don't want to hurt him, he has been hurt enough. The metallic feel of the condom wrapper and the smooth plastic tube in my hand made me smile. He's always been on top; I'm up for a change. As I walked to our mother's room, where he was currently tied, I heard his labored breathing from the hallway.

When I walked in, I saw the same distraught look on his face that he had after Daniel returned him to me. His chest heaved in deep pants, cold sweat covering his body, his eyes closed and his face distorted in discomfort as he pulled at the bonds holding his wrists.

"Sam, are you okay?" He continued to toss and turn his head.

"Sam." I spoke softly as I sat on the side of the bed. He flinched away from me, pulling his body as far away as his bound wrist would let him. I repeated his name more forcefully; he still refused to look at me and now he was muttering something under his breath. It's terrible to see such a normally strong man wither under some invisible enemy. "Sam!" He opened his eyes and looked at the ceiling before his eyes dashed around in a panic. When his eyes locked on me, I was reaching over to remove the t-shirts that held his hands.

"Terry--" he started as I reached over and undid the other before tossing the shirt to the floor. He's not ready for this, I thought simply. Maybe I'm not either.

"Terry, I'm sorry. I don't know why I thought about that. I just did. I was waiting for you and I just suddenly remembered Daniel and it went down from there."

"Don't feel sorry." I kissed him softly, trying to show how much I cared for this man through my lips. "You're not ready for it, that's all; I can wait. I can wait forever if I must. Don't think you have to do this for me." In my mind, I knew that wasn't why he wanted it, but I said it anyways. Meeting his almost worried eyes, my head cocked to the side, motioning him that we should leave. I figured he would follow and had just risen from the bed when his hands wrapped around my arm.

My eyes watched his as he pulled me back on top of him and our lips locked. As worried as I was for him, as much as I didn't want to hurt him by doing this when I doubt he is ready, I gave into the gentle and caring lips and that seeking tongue that entered my mouth, dancing with my own. My whole was tingling and being in his arms just felt so right. Without my permission or will, my hands wrapped under his back and pulled him closer as his own did the same on me.

Finally pulling apart from that passionate kiss, I looked him in the eye.

"Are you sure that you're ready for this? You know we don't have to--" His fingers covered my mouth. He gave me a trusting gaze.

"Stop talking and make love to me. Please?"

My only response was to trail kisses down his neck as my hand continued to map out his chest and torso, and his hands work my shorts to my knees. His nails dug into my lower back as my head lowered down his chest, licking gently at the abused and redden nubs there. Soon, my tongue was doing lazy circles around his navel, dipping in, mimicking an action I would perform in short order. Reaching his pubic hair, I rubbed my nose in that thick red hair, teasing his hard on with light kisses.

"Oh god, Terry, please," Sam said under me as his fingers roamed through my hair, encouraging me to continue. With some tentative licks, I took his crown in my mouth. Beautiful curses flew from his mouth as I began to suck him eagerly. As my head bobbed, I felt one of his hands leave my hair.

Suddenly, he held my head to stop me and I looked up at him. He hands me the bottle of lube.

"Prepare me." I took the tube after pulling my mouth off him. He's serious. He's serious! I let out an excited shiver before giving him a grin. Slowly, he raised his legs back so his knees touched his chest, presenting his ass to me with a soft smile.

"Take about a teaspoon of that and rub it in and around with your fingertips," he instructed. I smirked.

"Yes, Sir." After pulling my boxers off, I leaned myself back between his legs. Squirting a small bit onto my finger, I rubbed it into the puckered hole my brother was offering to me. Sam moaned in approval as I dipped in slightly, massaging the outer ring.

"That it." He hissed through gritted teeth. My other hand was petting circles in his inside thigh, making his nails dig into his leg.

Being daring, I probed my digit in further, slicking up the areas as I went. He caught the hand on his leg and dug his nails in, his face twisting in pain.

"Do you want me to stop?" He quickly shook his head but held my hand under his own for comfort. His muscles were relaxing quicker and soon my finger was moving in and out of his hole easily. It no longer needed my full attention, so I gave it to that closest body part; I made lazy circle on the tip of his cock as I continued to probe him. He whimpered and thrust his hips towards me, sending my fingers deeper into him, as his cock disappeared into my warm jaws.

"Oh, god…Add another!" Sam gasped before seating his head back and panting into the pillow. Following his order, I carefully added another finger to expand this tight opening. If he had been in any pain, it was quickly ignored with a stroke of my tongue. "Fuck, Terry," his dried lips said as his body stiffened underneath me and bittersweet taste signaled his pending climax. With him distracted, I slide a third finger in, surprised at how well it fit. While I was exploring his neither region, my tips touched a soft and firm bump inside him.

My head was held into place when his hands left his knees and gripped in my hair. With a deep groan, his hips thrust up, sending him into my esophagus. With his knees now resting on my shoulders, he finally released with the broken whimper of my name. Aw, the 'cum button', I thought as I drank his seed, fingers still rubbing that throbbing tunnel. From the seed that now has overfilled onto my chin, the incoherent muttering and his tight hold on my head, I would guess that was his best orgasm, ever.

Finally, he pulled my lips off his softened cock and up for his mouth. His kisses were so passionate and loving, with his fingers lost within my slick hair. I moved my hand from within his ass to his chest were the other was. I must have gotten lost looking into those lusty and loving blue eyes because I never heard the condom wrapper open, but soon felt his hand slide it on me.

God, this is really happening, I thought as I moan and thrust into his hand. It must have been that lack of attention, but I was more sensitive then usual. When I could no longer breathe (or maybe it was him), we pulled apart, only for our hands to quickly reposition the nail marked knees onto my shoulders as I sat up. With a trusting look, he reached between his legs and aligned myself at the waiting opening. He nodded before I could even question his readiness before pushing against me. Holding his legs, I entered him.

Both of our mouths let out a mew of passion into the air. There is no way to describe how good it felt. With a slow grace, I slid myself into the tight tunnel until I was completely sheathed. So many things where going through my mind as I glanced down at him under me. His eyes where locked on mine: No sign of pain, regret, or distrust anywhere to be found in those orbs. Discomfort, yes, but no panic or fear.

"I love you." I whispered to him as his last sigh of ache vanished from his face.

My heart swelled with love and passion as I began to move from within him. I so wanted to go gently for him; show him how much I cared for him. My cells just seemed to buzz with pleasure as I slid within that tight ring of muscle. I couldn't help but close my eyes in dreamy pleasure as I pulled out, only to thrust right back in. His little moans of pleasure brought me back to reality and reminded me that this isn't just some perfect dream. It was better.

The heartbeat pulse I had started out with was speeding up quickly. I gently leaned into him and captured his lips. My whole body was tingling, shaking, screaming and anxious all at the same time, which made my approaching orgasm even more intense. I had to pull his kiss apart;it was all I could do to keep breathing and thrusting. The need to climax so great; my thrusts were now so fast and strong that I could hear the slap of my scrotum against his ass. My eyes stayed locked on his, looking for any sign of pain.

"Fuck, I don't know how much longer can last, baby," I said in a tight, almost crying voice between pants. My gut was tightening; I was so close to cumming it was making my mouth water. Sam's fingers wrapped themselves around my head and pulled me in for a powerful and forceful kiss. God, this is really happening! It feels so good! I love you so much Sam. You trust me with something so delicate. Hold my virginity to your heart. God, it's too much…The shivers running through me, my screaming cells, the tightening in my gut, the blood rushing all around my body so quickly, and the throbbing muscles around my cock made me scream my climax against his lips.

I'm not sure how long I stayed like that; with my head on his chest, panting so hard it was making my throat sore, my heart pounding like a jackhammer in my chest and my head swimming in all those endorphins and sending shivers and spasms throughout my whole body, I can't be sure if it was a minute or a hour before I felt him tap me on the head.

"Are you okay?" he asked, rubbing my scalp tenderly.

Even through all the hormones and dizziness, I still remembered how rough I was just before. I sat up quickly and searched his face for any pain or regret or anything negative.

"God, did I hurt you? I'm sorry if I was rough. I didn't mean--" Again he put his hand over my mouth to stop my rambling. He gave me a soft smile and ran his hand over my cheek.

"If you always panic like that afterwards, we're gonna have problems," he said, amused with my relieved expression. "However, if you would kindly pull yourself out of me, I would like to rest." I blushed in embarrassment before leaning back and pulling my softened penis from within him, then rested my head on his shoulder. Even though he didn't appear to be in pain, the worried thought didn't leave me.

"Did I hurt you?" I repeated to him calmly. He sighed and I immediately began to panic. No, no, no! Don't think of me like those other guys. I didn't mean to hurt you-- My thoughts panicked until I felt the vibration on the top of my head from his throat.

"What was that?" he lifted my head from his shoulder and looked me straight in the eye.

"Terry, calm down. I'm just sore, that's all. I'll live," he played it down. "Don't worry, Ter. I'm fine." I still was crawling in my skin about hurting him until he made me look in his eyes again and spoke firmly. "You didn't hurt me." Finally my brain started to relax. Okay, more like crash. I was getting more and more tired by the second and was just about to fall asleep on his shoulder when he tapped me. I groaned and snuggled into his arms more.

"I know Ter. But if we don't get up soon, ma will kill us if she catches us in here like this. Come on; help me get the laundry done and then we'll sleep. Okay?" I groaned, but finally moved. Knowing his track record, if I didn't, he would have pushed me out of bed.

After I helped him gather all of our tossed clothing and throwing out the condom, we removed the bed covers. "To get the sex smell out of it," he said before putting the folded sheet to his face and breathing deep. As we folded the last large blanket, he looked at me and smirked. "So, from what you have learned today, do you like topping or bottoming better?" As I helped him carrying them to the washroom, I thought it over. The more I thought about it, the pinker my face became.

"I like them both. They're different, and from just today, I don't think I could choose one over the other," I said as we walked up the stairs to our room, only clad in our shorts. "Why? What's your preference?" I asked as he plopped down on the bed and I closed the door. I soon came over and joined him, taking the same spot as I did before with my head on his shoulder and my leg draped over his.

"I would rather top," he admitted as he petted my sweaty hair. "But at least I'm not afraid to be bottom anymore." His voice was getting softer and his yawn proved he was just as tired as I was. "Thank you, Ter."

"Anytime," I muttered into his skin before finally falling asleep.