I never expected this fic to end up being so long, but I'm pretty happy with how it turned out. It's quite fluffy and I always end up feeling warm and fuzzy at the end. Feedback is always nice. I would also like to dedicate this to my friend Kara. Thank you for everything you've given me.

Disclaimer: Ilya, Pierre and Fay belong to Kara.

Warning: This contains shounen-ai, which is slash, which is boy/boy love.

Just Like That

The last time I was at a sleepover was probably four years ago when I was only twelve. It was the summer before junior high. It was then that my best friend and I decided to throw away our juvenile habits and grow up. It seemed like such a logical step at the time. We were starting junior high, and we were going to be teenagers. It was only normal that we stopped something as childish as sleepovers, right? Sleepovers were for little boys, and we were certainly no longer children. Despite our resolution, we decided to have at least one last sleepover right before school started. Strangely, even to this day, its memory is still vivid in my mind.

We did all the typical things that boys our age would do. I attempted new recipes which he ultimately tasted for me. He somehow convinced me to be the guinea pig in some of his newer (and more explosive) experiments. Oh, and we often sat on the couch together, talking about new and old literature. Hm…well now that I think about it, I suppose what we did wasn’t exactly common for two twelve-year-old boys. Then again, there was always one standard thing that we enjoyed doing that all boys did: staying up very late.

Since it was our last sleepover, we had wanted to stay up all night. Our past attempts have never quite succeeded, and although we were extra determined this time around, we still ended up falling asleep in a collective heap on our sleeping bags somewhere around one. I think his older sister, Fay, had dropped by and covered us with blankets because I explicitly remember waking up in the morning with something warm both on top of me and beside me. It felt nice waking up that way, and I couldn’t help but feel somewhat sad that it would be the last time we did something like this. I think he felt the same, but both of us knew that we had to move on.

Now don’t get me wrong. He and I still constantly spend time with each other. We just never had any sleepovers anymore. Until today, of course.

“Can you believe the storm out there?” Fay asked, staring out the window. “I love the idea of having a white Christmas and all, but this is just way too much.” She then turned to the pig-tailed girl, who was sitting at the small table in the middle of the living room working on their holiday assignment for mythology. “Rin, I know you’re only five minutes away, but remember to be careful when driving home, okay? I’d hate to wake up in the morning to find out that my best friend was lost in this blizzard. Are you sure you won’t stay?”

The pink-haired feline looked up and laughed lightly, shaking her head. “Positive. Besides, my parents are already kind of upset that I’ve been here all day. Speaking of which, can we please hurry up and finish this thing? As much as I love Alexander, I’m not sure how much longer I can work on this before my brain dies.”

Fay nodded, before ultimately turning her attention to me. As I had been standing there for quite some time now, I could only offer her an awkward grin. She responded with a warm smile as she finally handed me the cordless phone. “Sorry about that; we got a bit carried away,” she said sheepishly, her head slightly inclined. “I guess you better call your parents, and tell them you’re spending the night before they get too worried.”

Spending the night, huh? I still couldn’t believe that I was actually sleeping over. I was already quite familiar with their house, seeing as I had been here countless times already, but the idea of actually sleeping here seemed so…new and old at the same time. Did that even make sense? No, I didn’t think so.

I gave her a brief nod, consequently removing the jade strands from my eyes. Then, sighing softly, I began walking towards the kitchen, planning to put the receiver back in its charger as soon as I finished using it. As I dialled my home number, I hoped that my parents wouldn’t be too upset with me.

“Hello?”

I subconsciously sauntered towards the window before replying. “Hey mom.”

“Oh my goodness, Pierre!” she exclaimed. “Where are you?” she asked worriedly.

“Ilya’s house.”

My mother promptly let out a long sigh of relief. “That’s good to hear. I was just about to call you to make sure that you weren’t trying to get home in this horrible storm. Honey, do you think it would be alright if you spent the night there? I’m afraid that the car is completely snowed in right now, and I don’t want you trying to take a bus home or anything of the sort.”

I stared at the phone. Well, that sure made my job a lot easier. “Sure. Fay actually already suggested that because of the weather.”

“Oh good! Well then, I’ll probably see you tomorrow, okay?”

“Sure mom.”

“Merry Christmas sweetie.”

I smiled to myself, as I walked back to the counter and placed my weight against it. “Merry Christmas to you too. Love you.”

“I love you too. Good night.”

With that, she hung up, and I returned the black device to its proper place. I continued to stare at the machine for a moment, wondering what exactly my family was doing. This was my first Christmas Eve away from them. This probably made me sound like a three-year-old, but I felt a bit homesick. Yet, at the same time, knowing that I was going to spend this time with Ilya instead, I couldn’t help but still smile. He was my best friend, after all.

“You sure took your time.”

Speak of the devil. I turned around to see my said best friend leaning against the doorframe, watching me through his thin-rimmed glasses with his arms crossed. He was already in his pyjamas, which I found highly amusing, as they were decorated with cute, fluffy sheep. Fay gave them to him for Christmas and insisted that he wear them on Christmas Eve. She seemed to have this way of talking him into doing strange things for her. Although I could empathize with him, I couldn’t really sympathize considering how he talked me into random things all the time.

“Sorry about that,” I apologized, walking towards him. When we were face to face, I absently brushed a stray piece of his fiery mane aside before elaborating. “Fay was holding onto the phone, and I was about to ask if I could use it, but then she and Rin suddenly started telling me all this stuff about Alexander. They were so animated about it; I didn’t have the heart to interrupt them right away.”

Ilya gave me an amused smile, as he rolled his emerald eyes. “Which is why I’m always telling you to grow a backbone,” he said, granting me that “why-don’t you-ever-listen” look and tone.

“Yeah yeah, I know,” I replied back, waving my hand in a dismissive manner. As we started to head back into the living room, I added, “Just to let you know, my mom’s okay with me staying here.”

“Well I didn’t think that she’d have a problem with it.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, before stopping in the narrow hallway. “What do you mean by that?”

He acquired a somewhat hesitant expression before saying, “Exactly what it sounds like. I didn’t think your mom would mind if you slept over here, that’s all. Don’t get so worked up over nothing Pierre.” Casually, he slung an arm over my shoulders and began directing me back on the route to the dining room, which was attached to the living room.

I hummed in light disapproval. It was very easy for me to tell when he was withholding something from me, and it usually took a fair amount of probing before he actually told me anything. He could be such a bother to me sometimes. Nevertheless, I wasn’t going to allow a little hassle get in the way of finding out what was wrong, which was why I made a mental note to prod him more about it later.

When we entered the living room, I was pleased to see that Fay and Rin had taken a temporary break and were now immersing themselves with the Christmas dinner. Earlier, Fay had warmed up some food, while I had managed to cook up a lovely meal, if I do say so myself. The girls and I had set it up on the table some thirty minutes ago, but due to numerous distractions, we were only eating it now. Ilya, at the time, had been reading a novel I had lent him.

I know what you’re thinking. Remember that it wasn’t that he isn’t helpful; he just…wasn’t that graceful in the kitchen. He knew how to cook well, but Ilya had this odd tendency to…drop things. We’re working on it.

“This is so great!” squealed Fay, who was filling her plate with roast beef and mashed potatoes. “It’s not hot anymore, but hey! It’s still reasonably warm, and it still tastes delicious! Honestly Pierre, I wish you’d give Ilya more cooking lessons so he could make stuff like this.”

I stole a glimpse at a rather bashful-looking Ilya, who had taken the seat beside me, and reached over to give his hand a reassuring squeeze. “He knows how to cook. We just have a few little things to work on, right?”

My best friend returned the deed with a smile and nodded. “Exactly.”

There were random moments when we just stared at each other. I wasn’t sure why they happened or even how to properly describe them. They were just…comfortable. One of those moments was now. It wasn’t until a few seconds had passed that I heard an incessant voice.

“…doing stuff just like that!”

I suddenly realized that it was Rin who was talking to me. Actually, I think she was talking to both me and Ilya, and judging from the puzzled look on his face, he apparently didn’t notice it until now either. It couldn’t be helped, as we both had this bad habit of disassociating ourselves from our surroundings during these moments.

“Pardon?” we asked at once, surprising even myself. I instinctively stared at him, and he offered me a shy grin.

“See? Don’t you agree, Fay?”

“Maybe…”

“Maybe? How about definitely? Seriously, just think about it.”

I brought my attention back to the chatting girls sitting across from us, blinking furiously. What were they on about? This was utterly confusing. Whatever it was, it apparently required Fay to start examining us. I shifted uncomfortably, wondering what exactly was going through her mind as she thoroughly watched us as if we were hiding something.

“Well,” she finally began, “I guess you do have a point.”

Rin’s smile illuminated tenfold, as she clapped her hands in delight. “Told you so! I’ll admit, there are a few minor differences, but the essential parts are still the same.”

Fay sent Rin an amused smile as she twirled a cherry lock with her finger. “That’s very true.”

“Okay!” Ilya’s voice finally came into the scene. He seemed to be watching the two girls intently, with a look of bemusement etched on his teenage face. “What are you two talking about?”

Rin replied simply, “Isn’t it obvious? You two.”

Ilya crinkled his face, as he impatiently cocked his head to the right. “And what about us?”

I frowned at his tone. It was obvious that he was bordering the point of frustration. He didn’t normally get irritated like this, but Ilya liked to have control over situations, and right now, he obviously did not have it.

Fay suddenly laughed, her carefree voice shooing the tension away. Consequently, she stood up, leaned over and ruffled the fluffy red mop on Ilya’s head. “Oh, don’t be mad,” she said lightly, sitting back down. “We were just saying how you two are a lot like Alexander and Hephaestion.”

Alexander and Hephaestion? I think they mentioned this to me…I couldn’t quite remember due to the fact that the information they had thrown at me a little while ago had been fast and furious. It made me slightly dread university, as I wondered if that’s how professors lectured.

“Who are they?” I asked, seeing as Ilya wasn’t persisting in his inquiry.

“They were best friends,” informed Fay.

“And lovers,” added Rin, smirking at both of us.

I felt an automatic blush rise in my cheeks. Surely she wasn’t suggesting that Ilya and I were…involved like that! I’ll admit that we were particularly close, even for best friends, but we never actually did anything! Our relationship was completely platonic!

Feeling very uncomfortable, I awkwardly began playing with my fork out of habit. I side glanced Ilya and saw that he was staring at his sister and Rin like a child who had just been given the talk about the birds and the bees (or in this case, the bees and the bees). If I wasn’t so shocked myself, I would have made a remark on how cute he looked at that moment.

“Aw man, calm down you too!” Fay quickly swept in, giggling. “We didn’t say you were exactly like them. We just noticed a bunch of parallels, that’s all.”

“All the important parallels,” Rin emphasized with a smile.

Surprisingly, I found my voice first, which was why I had to ask the next question. “Like what?” I almost didn’t want to know the answer, but I was curious, and despite Ilya’s initial reaction, I knew he wanted to know as well.

Both girls watched us for a moment before, I believe, going into deep contemplation. Rin was lightly tapping her spoon on her plate, while Fay wore a reflective expression. I put my fork down and settled for fiddling with the Christmas-themed tablecloth. They were taking an awfully long time just thinking. Were there so many parallels that it was difficult to choose? I bit my bottom lip anxiously, waiting for a reply.

“Okay, where to start…” began Rin absently. “Well, for one thing, Alexander and Hephaestion were the same age. They had known each other since they were kids, but I guess you two can one-up them on that since you’ve known each other since you were literally born, huh?” Just as I opened my mouth to comment, she swiftly went on, much like she and Fay had done earlier. “They also spent like every waking moment together.”

“It’s true,” Fay came in affirmatively. “Plus they talked about nearly everything collectively.” She then raised her hand and started ticking off her fingers as she began to go through a list of topics. “Philosophy, politics, history, art, war, life…you name it, and they’ve probably discussed it. All they needed was each other.”

“All they wanted was each other.”

“Neither of them had a deeper relationship with anyone else.”

Rin’s golden eyes danced with sweet romance. I could practically see the stars. “They were just so perfect together,” she said, sighing happily. “They were lifelong friends. Actually, no…it was more than that…hm…they were…um…”

“Soul mates,” Fay finished her sentence in a conclusive note.

Rin gave her a dazzling smile, along with a wink. “That’s the word.”

The two girls were now emitting a radiance that could rival the sun’s. They seemed to be thoroughly enjoying this discussion about Alexander and Hephaestion. In contrast, Ilya and I were…well…you know that look someone gets when they accidentally walk in on their parents having an intimate session? Just multiply that by three.

Ilya suddenly cleared his throat loudly, catching their attention. “So what does this—” His voice cracked. He closed his eyes for a moment and took a deep breath, and somehow, he managed to regain himself. Slowly, he reattempted his question. “What does this…have to do…with us?”

Rin gave him a rather perplexed look. “You mean you don’t get it?”

“I do! But I don’t…I mean—hold on a second.” Ilya looked like he was trying to arrange his thoughts. He didn’t appear to be too successful though, but that was more than I could say for myself. I had yet to rediscover the gift of speech. “Okay. What I meant to say was that I think I get it, but at the same time, I don’t really think I do because what I supposedly get doesn’t make much sense, you get it?”

Rin blinked at him, clueless. I, on the other hand, had a knowing grin cross my lips. Would it be considered odd if I said that I completely understood that with no problems whatsoever? Personally, I didn’t think it was out of the ordinary. It’s always been like that, after all. We had this innate way of perceiving everything and anything when it came each o—

And then it hit me. I stopped thinking, as my eyes widened with realization: we did have an Alexander-Hephaestion connection. Oh god.

I folded my arms firmly on my lap, trying to keep any physical reactions from showing. But…but…no! We weren’t abnormally close…it was only normal that I could understand his nonsensical talk because I had grown up with him, right? Right. Okay good. Now that that’s settled…

“Can you repeat that in a language we can understand please?” Fay suddenly asked. “I have no idea what you just said.”

I think my mind just shut down. Why didn’t Fay understand him? She was probably around him more than I was! I mean, they lived in the same house for crying out loud! How could she not understand the simplicity of his words?

“Well, Pierre understood me fine, right?”

I almost squeaked. It was like Ilya was purposely trying to prove my Alexander-Hephaestion theory. My violet eyes wandered to the source of the question for a fleeting moment before returning to the table. I purposely kept my gaze low, allowing my lime bangs to (thankfully) cover my eyes.

“Uh…actually, I didn’t quite…get you...” I slowly drawled, keeping my interest fixed on my plate.

This was just peachy. Here I was, fiddling with the tablecloth again, as I lied to my best friend about something that used to be normal. This was so sad it was almost funny. Just for the record, I knew perfectly well that I was in denial, but you can’t blame a guy for trying. Honestly, Ilya’s been my best friend for some sixteen-years, and I would hate for our relationship to get awkward just because I realized that our closeness was freakishly similar to two male lovers from mythology. If, just for once, I had to pretend I didn’t understand him…then fine. All in the name of friendship, right?

“You…what?”

I blinked in surprise. Ilya’s tone…what just happened to it? It was like…when I told him that my family might be moving a few years ago. Before I could ask him anything, however, he continued. “You really didn’t comprehend that…” His voice trailed off with a certain uncertainty, if that made any sense. It didn’t even sound like a question to me.

I found myself suddenly exclaiming, “I do!” Damn. So much for trying to prevent our relationship from getting weird. I didn’t even last five minutes. “I…I understood what you said perfectly,” I added, quietly. “I’m sorry…I just…I thought that…that…”

“You don’t have to say it,” he cut in, a warm smile gracing his face. “I get it.”

I grinned back, despite myself. I think we just had another moment. Like I said, they were random, not to mention unavoidable too.

“Jeez you two…” I heard Rin start, before breaking into subtle giggles. “Like I said, they’re just like them.”

“Minus the kissing,” Fay playfully pointed out.

Rin released an elated squeal. “That’s perfect! They’re best friends, like Alexander and Hephaestion, minus the kissing,” she repeated, before turning her attention to us. She gave us a look that bordered apologetic and amused, possibly because she had some idea of what was going through our heads. “Does that sound better to you guys?”

I did the only thing I could and nodded. I saw Ilya do the same. That was…reasonable, I guess.

“Okay now, enough talking and more eating!” ordered Fay. “This dinner has been waiting long enough.”

Before anyone could breathe another word on the previous topic, she began plopping more vegetables on our plates. Rin began telling us stories about how Reno and Kyan were constantly arguing and causing ruckuses in the university halls. Fay light-heartedly told us about the new rumours she was hearing about her two friends; she even went as far as to say that some people believed that they had heated sessions in the bathroom stalls. Of course, Rin added her own theories about those two which nearly caused Ilya and me to choke on our food. In a matter of minutes, the dining (slash living) room was filled with laughter again, and the previous anxieties had faded.

By the time we finished, nearly an hour had passed, and it was a little bit past ten. We all pitched in cleaning the table and washing the dishes (we gave Ilya the job of being the towel boy), and before we knew it, everyone was going back to their earlier activities. Rin and Fay were determined to finish their assignment before twelve; thus, Ilya and I had gone up to his room to let them work.

As soon as we entered his bedroom, Ilya swiftly began the first step of getting rid of his top. I gawked like an idiot.

“What are you doing?!” I exclaimed, with a tone more alarming than I had wanted.

“Changing,” he replied casually, absently closing his bedroom door. “I don’t know why I let Fay talk me into wearing clothes like this.”

He slowly continued the process of unbuttoning that shirt of his, and to my horror, I couldn’t take my eyes off of him. I don’t know why, but I think all that talk about best friends that were a bit more than best friends had rooted some strange ideas in my head. That was the only way to explain why I was feeling somewhat nervous about seeing him half naked. I mean really, we took baths together when we were kids! And I think I even saw him without a shirt on just a few days ago. Then again, I didn’t have this Alexander-Hephaestion knowledge a few days ago either, and that’s what made all the difference. This is why I had to intervene when he was halfway done. The question was…how?

“I like it.” The words just flew out of my mouth, and by the time I realized it, it was too late. I made a lame attempt to laugh it off. I was planning on saying that he should wear it for Rin’s sake and that it wasn’t that bad. I was even going to add in a joke about how maybe Santa would think he was still a kid and leave him presents. I decided to try again. “It’s cute.” I choked back a groan and immediately gave myself a mental slap. Holy hell, what was wrong with me? Where were these comments coming from?

“You think so?” He playfully tilted his head at me. I had to admit…it only added to the cuteness of it all.

Upon noticing that he was now redoing his buttons, I knew I had to maintain my calm disposition. Thus, I gave him a small grin. “Oh yeah.” I wanted to bang my head against the desk; even my tone was against me! Why did everything I say sound like I was coming onto him?

Ilya began walking towards me, as I had been sitting on his bed watching him. He sat beside me, unusually close, or maybe that was just my imagination. He then made a hand indication at my clothes before saying, “Maybe you should get out of those.”

“W-what?” I squeaked, forgetting about acting composed “I can’t!” I exclaimed, blushing furiously. And here I thought I was the one who was getting unnatural thoughts!

He gave me a confused look. “Do you want me to help?”

My mouth fell open, as my lavender eyes widened like saucers. “You…help…what?!” I couldn’t speak properly. I was flustered. He was flustering! Oh great. I was flustered because he was flustering. There goes my vocabulary.

“Pierre, are you alright?” he asked evenly, looking at me straight in the eye. I don’t know how in the world Ilya could be so calm about this! He was asking me these crazy things as if we were talking about the weather!

After a gruelling minute of stuttering and making a total fool of myself, I managed to say a pathetic, yet coherent, “No, I am not fine.” After that, I promptly buried my face into my palms.

He didn’t say anything else to me. In fact, all he did was gently rub my back, and somehow, I began to regain myself. It was funny. Just a minute ago, he was the source of my frustration, but now, he was the one who was taking it away. I sighed at the irony of things.

“How do you feel?” he asked, when I eventually brought my gaze back up.

At this point, my normal composure had finally returned to me, and yet, I still felt incredibly self-conscious. I looked at the floor awkwardly, utterly embarrassed at my actions. Why in the world did I get so worked up like that? During that brief calming period, I had realized that Ilya was asking me to change into pyjamas, but I took it completely the wrong way. I think my mind was tainted.

“I’m sorry about that,” I said quietly, still staring at the carpet beneath my feet. “I was…I wasn’t thinking properly.”

Ilya chuckled nervously, while a putting a hand behind his head. “No, I’m sorry. It was my fault for talking like that.”

My shame promptly disappeared, and I sent him an incredulous look. “Are you saying…that you did that on purpose?”

“Possibly…”

“Possibly?” I repeated dryly.

“Okay, yes, but come on…wasn’t that kind of fun?”

I gaped at him, holding back an explosion. “For you maybe! Do you have any idea how close my mind was to just completely dying?! Why do you enjoy doing stuff like that to me?!” I huffed indignantly, before suddenly standing up and stomping across the room.

“Where are you going?”

I didn’t answer him. I was in a rather unpleasant mood at the moment. Ilya was such an idiot like that. He loved teasing me, and normally, I would laugh it off with him. However, when it came to stuff like this, I just couldn’t see the humour in it.

I stopped at his dresser and immediately began invading it. After a few moments, I pulled out a pair of pyjamas and instantly rolled my eyes. They had cows on them. Jeez…did Fay love giving him stuff like this? Oh well, it was just pyjamas. Without giving much thought, I promptly began to strip out of my clothes gracefully, while in contrast, carelessly throwing them over my shoulder once they were off. As soon as I was clad in only my dark, silk undergarments, I grabbed the first piece of clothing (the pants) and slowly stepped into them. Just as I was about to slip into the upper half of this two-piece clothing, somebody grabbed my wrist.

“What…are you…doing?” Ilya sounded breathless.

I pulled my wrist back and took a good look at him. His chest was moving irregularly, as if he had just run a race, and there was a distant look in his eyes that I couldn’t quite put my finger on. Let’s not forget that his lips were slightly parted…and moist…probably soft…it would be so easy to just—gah! What was I thinking?! I mentally scolded myself for such strange thoughts. Maybe I was getting an after lash of puberty. Yes. That had to be it.

“Isn’t it obvious?” I asked him, miraculously keeping my tone in check. “I’m changing into something more suitable for bed.”

Ilya stared for a second before giving me a stiff nod. “I…see that.” He then swallowed, looking very uncomfortable.

The next thing that I did was purely because I seemed to have gained the upper hand in the situation, and I was planning on flaunting it like he done to me earlier. So sue me for being just as bad as him sometimes.

“Something wrong?” I asked in a carefree, teasing voice.

“No…” He was looking at the floor, as I had been doing before. I guess I couldn’t really blame him too much for teasing me…it was just so terribly amusing.

“Then why won’t you look at me?”

His interest seemed to linger on the ground. I almost thought I would have to grab his head to make him meet my gaze, but just as I was about to put that plan into action, his head slowly, but surely, began to rise. I felt heat threaten to cross my cheeks and probably leek onto my chest. It felt like he was checking me out. But…that was just nonsense, right? Right.

Despite my rationalization, I asked, for the sheer fun of it, “So do you like what you see?”

I expected him to start laughing and retort with something witty and sarcastic, and that would be the end of our little game. To my surprise, it still went on.

“And if I say that I do?” he asked back in a low, silky voice.

His tone nearly blew me away. It was like…sex. Damn it. He seemed to have quickly recovered and was now trying to overwhelm me. But god, what in the world was happening to us? I was beginning to feel rather nervous about where this was heading, but I refused to be the first to back down, especially since he totally owned me in the first round. Whoa. Did I just say that he owned me? That can’t be a good sign.

“Then…” I slowly began, narrowing my eyes suggestively, “I think it would only be fair if you also…” I left my sentence unfinished as I let my actions speak for itself. I refused to give up without a fight. Hence, with a mischievous smirk, I reached towards him tentatively.

I was constantly wondering how he’d react. Would he step back, laughing? Would he make a sound of defeat and admit that I had won? Would he swipe my hand away and say that I was going too far? It seemed as if I had thought of every reaction possible. All except one.

“Go ahead,” he conceded. Then, without warning, he snaked both arms around my slender waist, forcing me to take a step towards him.

I knew if Ilya had been doing this with anyone else, the other person would have completely given in to him by now. I wasn’t going to deny that he was above average when it came to appearance, and he had his way of subtly convincing people to do things. However...I wasn’t like anyone else either.

I placed my right hand against his clothed torso for a moment, drinking in the reality of the situation. As I felt his heart beating against my open palm, I felt a smile gently tug at the corners of my lips. It held a quick, slightly erratic, rhythm; it was a lot like the pounding against my own chest. Then, taking in a deep breath, my left hand joined its partner and together, they swiftly began working on the petite buttons.

It was strange how quickly I finished. It was strange how his shirt was suddenly on the floor, lost in my own mess. It was strange how I felt somewhat nervous, but still comfortable at the same time. It was strange how I was suddenly intrigued by his exposed body before me, particularly the lower part of his chest.

Before he had a chance to do anything, my left hand found a place upon his bare shoulder, while the other impatiently flew to its place of curiosity. For a moment, it lingered above the waiting skin, and just as I was about to explore that undiscovered territory, I stopped. It felt like my senses had suddenly kicked me. Carefully, I looked up at him.

“What are we…doing?” I hesitantly asked. I needed to know. What just happened? One thing just kept leading to another, and now we were standing in the middle of his room, half naked, with me about ready to feel him up! What was wrong with us?

He stared back at me for a moment. “I…I don’t know.” Judging by the stunned look on his face, I’m sure he was realizing the same thing I was.

I swallowed, my hand still hovering so close to his abdomen that I could feel the heat emitting from it. My mind told me to pull back, but somehow, my body still wasn’t listening. “Is this really okay Ilya?” I asked quietly. “I mean…I’m not…you know…”

“Neither am I.”

We continued to stand there, until finally, I forced myself to draw my hand back and settled for placing it on Ilya’s other shoulder. “Maybe we should stop,” I reluctantly suggested.

He cocked his head, pouting slightly. “Do you want to?”

“Well…not really.”

“Then why should we?”

My gaze averted to the various clothing on the ground and then to a framed photo of us when we younger sitting on Ilya’s desk. I didn’t want those days to end…and I wasn’t naïve enough to think that doing stuff like this wouldn’t have an effect on our relationship.

“Because…this’ll make things…strange,” I replied, meeting his gaze seriously. “This probably sounds stupid right now, but our friendship means everything to me, and I’m not going to jeopardize it just because we couldn’t control our hormones or whatever you want to call it. Honestly, what would happen between us afterwards? We might stop talking and just end up—”

“Shh. Okay, I know,” he broke in calmly. “We’ll stop then.”

His disposition had completely changed. As I met his gaze, I could see that his emerald eyes were now filled with a warm understanding. As much as Ilya played around when we were together, he always knew when he needed to be serious. He offered me a small smile, which I sincerely returned. We then ensued in another Kodak moment, and I almost felt like laughing. What was this, the third time now? I think we just created a record for ourselves.

“I should clean this…” I commented idly, my gaze wondering around me. “Sorry about that.”

“Don’t worry about it,” he said. “I’ll help.”

Imagine this: two shirtless, sixteen-year-old boys on the floor, gathering colourful clothing and then neatly folding it. We really weren’t your typical pair, huh? Oh well…what was normal anyway? Gradually, I think I was beginning to reaccept that what was between us was like a paradox: usual and unusual at the same time.

Once that was done, I quickly put the pyjama top back on, while he did the same. Ilya plopped on the soft mattress, while I grabbed the chair by his desk and placed it beside his bed.

“Tired?”

After a moment, Ilya pulled himself into an upward position and nodded. As I watched him, sitting on his bed like that—his crimson hair slightly ruffled and his figure clothed in sheep pyjamas—I couldn’t’ hold back a smile. This person sitting in front of me was my best friend. As strange as our relationship was, I would never give it up for anything.

“Can I ask you for a Christmas favour?” he asked me softly.

I tilted my head curiously. Why did he sound a bit scared? “Sure.”

“Um…well…wow, how do I say this?” He let out a nervous chuckle, biting his bottom lip. “Okay. So…you know how Fay and Rin said we’re like Alexander and Hephaestion, minus the kissing?”

I slowly nodded. I hope he wasn’t planning on asking what I think he was …

“Well then…do you want to change that?” he went on.

I raised both eyebrows, before leaning back on the chair and sternly crossing my arms. “Are you crazy?” I asked, staring at him sceptically. Had he not listened to a word I said about how becoming more intimate may lead to other complications?

“Sorry, it came out wrong,” Ilya said, giving me an apologetic look. “I didn’t mean it like that. I’m just…well, curious. I want to know how it feels like. And don’t try to tell me that you weren’t wondering the same thing.”

I sighed, shaking my head in disbelief. “Okay, I was wondering, but wondering is completely different from actually doing.”

“Just once?”

“No.”

“Please?”

“No.”

“It’s not the same as earlier,” he persisted as matter of fact. “I’ll admit that we were getting carried away there, but a little kiss that we’re both prepared for isn’t going to shatter our friendship. Besides, if we do it once now, at least we won’t be thinking about it later on, right? We might as well get it over with.”

I gave him a dry look. “Your sense of logic is completely skewed.”

Ilya laughed, as he shifted to the edge of the bed. “But you still agree with me, don’t you?”

I made a face before suddenly directing my attention to the walls. They were adorned with framed pictures, most of which were taken by Ilya, as he was very interested in photography. Normally, I could have easily immersed myself by just looking at them; however, right now, I found it rather difficult to concentrate due to the fact that I could feel him staring at me smugly.

Damn it. I actually agreed with him there. And he knew it.

“Fine,” I gave in, sighing loudly. “But just once,” I added, emphasizing my words as I held up a single finger.

Ilya grinned like the Cheshire cat from Alice in Wonderland, and I let out an annoyed groan. I really did need to grow a backbone. My best friend then made a motion for me to sit on the large bed beside him. His expression was bordering erotic, which I’m sure was completely deliberate. At first, I didn’t move and simply stared at him as if he was suggesting we do something highly provocative. Could you really blame me though?

Finally, with another sigh, I pushed myself out of the chair and settled beside him. “Okay.”

“Okay.”

“…So?”

“So…”

As we sat there and stared at each other somewhat awkwardly, his temperament seemed to take another one eighty. It didn’t look like he was making any advances any time soon, and I sure wasn’t planning to. It was his idea, after all. I guess Ilya didn’t plan this far ahead.

“Well?”

Ilya gave me a lopsided grin. “Well…er…are you ready?”

“Aren’t I the one who’s waiting?” I replied, smirking slightly.

My best friend released a nervous laugh. “Oh, yeah…I knew that,” he replied sheepishly.

I really wasn’t in any hurry to get this over with. I was so used to seeing Ilya calm and in control that just watching him try to get this started was enough to keep me highly entertained. I suppose for the current situation, Ilya did have control, though I didn’t think he was very calm about it. Perhaps I should help him…

“Can I do anything for you?” I eventually asked. I didn’t know if there was much I could do, really, but we obviously weren’t getting anywhere like this.

“No, it’s fine,” he quickly answered, waving a hand between us. Then, with a determined look on his face, he placed his right hand on the nape of my neck, securely keeping me in place. Once again, we were at a standstill. Though I wasn’t going to rush him, I still noted that this was taking a lot longer than I expected. Eventually, Ilya carefully began inching towards me, and patiently, I waited.

Once there was only a small amount of space separating us, he stopped again. Intrigued, I watched his thoughts surface through the expressions dancing over his face. I’m sure he was thinking along the lines of, “What the hell am I doing? How long should we do this for? Are my lips dry? How did I kiss that girl before? Why can’t I remember anything?!”

“Do you want me to do it?” I finally offered. It would be so easy too…

Ilya swallowed, firmly shaking his head. I guess he didn’t want to hand me the reigns, despite the obvious issues he was having with this. Why did he bring this up if it was going to be so difficult? What to do…what to do…

Oh. I know.

I suddenly smiled at the ingenious idea that formed in my mind. “How about…” I started again, “we meet halfway?”

His jade eyes locked onto my violet ones, and silently, he agreed. Then slowly, we began the simple task of reducing the unwanted space between us. I could feel his fingers curl within the locks of my dark hair. I automatically shivered. All of a sudden, I could understand why he was so nervous; this really did feel like your first kiss all over again. I could only imagine how it felt like for him a second ago when all the pressure was resting on his shoulders. Speaking of shoulders, I was very aware of the weight resting on my right one. His other hand had yet to move from his lap. It was then that I had a sudden urge to take some initiative. Perhaps it would inspire him.

When I gently placed a hand on his soft cheek, I saw the initial look of surprise sweep over his face. It soon disappeared, however, as I tenderly stroked his smooth skin. I couldn’t help but smile; it felt so warm. After a moment, I found myself tracing a subconscious path across his cheek and over his inviting mouth. Just as I pulled my hand back, I watched his tongue slowly paint his already tempting lips, as if daring me to capture them. Ilya finally began to lean forward, and I hypnotically followed his movements. We were so close now…I could feel his breath against my lips…and just as my vision began to haze…

“Hey you two!”

Ilya and I practically flew apart, landing on opposite ends of the bed. With both of us clutching our chests, our breathing came out in ragged pants as we tried to increase the distance between us. And it wasn’t a moment too soon. The door instantaneously burst open to reveal a smiling Fay standing beside Rin, who was wearing her winter coat. I stared at the pair, trying to cast my focus away from the premature heart attack occurring within my chest. I think Ilya was having similar problems.

“We finished,” informed Rin happily, treating us both a wink. “I just wanted to say good bye and wish you two a very Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas to you too,” we replied weakly.

I don’t know if they actually didn’t notice our flushed appearances or whether they just ignored it. However, whatever the reason, I was grateful. I don’t think I would have been able to explain anything if they had asked. In fact, the mere task of coming up with an explanation would have completely finished me off.

“Oh by the way, Pierre, do you want me to set up the guest room for you?” Fay asked.

Before I could answer, Rin began to speak cheerfully. “Oh come on. It’s Christmas. I’m sure Ilya won’t mind sharing his bed, right?” She sent him a knowing smile, and I felt like they were having a silent conversation. Seeing as Ilya still hadn’t properly regained himself, he could only nod in agreement. She then gave me a perceptive glance before waving at both of us. “Good night you too.”

“Night,” we replied in unison.

Right before Fay closed the door, she added, “Sweet dreams.” Then, they were gone. Ilya and I stared at the door and then at each other before collapsing on his bed. Pardon my swearing, but holy shit. After a few minutes of simply gaining our sanity, Ilya was the first to speak up.

“I’m tired,” he declared.

I rolled onto my side to face him. “Me too.”

“Wanna sleep?”

“You took the words right out of my mouth.”

Getting ready for bed was like a blur. Although it was only a bit passed twelve, the day had been quite eventful, putting it lightly. I was so exhausted that I couldn’t even remember how I ended up back on the large bed. I was barely aware of my surroundings; all I knew was that Ilya was on my right, there was a comforter covering us, and the light was turned off. Most of my focus was aimed at one goal, and that was sleep.

I don’t know how much time had passed, but at some point during the night, I remember hearing Ilya gently call my name. It reminded me of when we were kids when Ilya would wake me up during the night to talk because he was bored. He was just lucky that I was a light sleeper, and I didn’t really mind being woken up. This situation was different though. You know that feeling you get when your mind is somewhat conscious, but your body isn’t? Well, that’s exactly the position I was in. I heard Ilya ask me if I was awake, and in my head, I answered that I was. Of course, my body didn’t move at all, and naturally, he probably assumed that I was asleep.

I could feel him shifting restlessly beside me; he probably couldn’t sleep. After a while, I think he finally sat up. I could only presume that he was going to get a drink from the kitchen or head to the living room to read a book for a while. However, strangely enough, the weight beside me wasn’t lifted. I could feel him sitting there, but he wasn’t making any attempt to get off the bed. I waited and waited and waited, and after I waited a bit more, he finally moved. Of course, not in the way I had imagined.

As I lay there peacefully, I suddenly felt something soft and moist gently press against my mouth. I felt a startling, unfamiliar surge flow through my body, starting deep within my chest and spiralling to the very tips of my fingers. At first, it was like my lungs had stopped working. Then suddenly, I felt my body come to life, fervently wanting to respond.

Thoughts and emotions flood through me as if a dam had broken in my mind. What was he doing? Why was he doing it now? Should I kiss back? What’ll happen if I do? What’ll happen when this is over? Should I pretend nothing happened? Will this ruin our relationship? More and more questions were invading my head. I was so busy wondering that I never had a chance to actually do anything. Before I knew it, Ilya had pulled back and was settling beside me again.

After a few minutes, my eyes gingerly fluttered apart, and I stared into the black room. As I waited for my vision to adapt to the darkness, I let my mouth open, creating another needed path for oxygen. There was a tingling sensation dancing across my lips, and I wanted to touch them, but I didn’t dare move my body. I was too scared that if I moved, Ilya would realize I had been awake during that, and then what? I wasn’t sure how long I was lying there for, but however long it was, it was certainly not enough time for me to properly organize my feelings about this.

Ilya kissed me.

I still couldn’t believe that. I knew we were planning to do it earlier, but this situation was totally different. It was just so…so…something that happened in one of those mangas that Rin always read. Stuff like this didn’t actually happen in real life though!

God. What in the world was he thinking?

Carefully, I finally sat up and sighed. This was all so confusing. What bothered me more was that behind all my anxieties about this, I had to admit that the kiss itself was sort of…well…nice. I could even say that when you took away my initial shock and thoughts, I actually felt comfortable when he had kissed me. I’m sure if it had lasted longer, I could have maybe, possibly...enjoyed it. Why didn’t it last longer anyway? I think I would have liked that…

A quiet sigh ultimately escaped my throat. Okay, perhaps it was more than just nice. Instinctively, I turned my head and allowed my lavender gaze to land on the said person in my mind. It was dark, but due to the amount of time that had elapsed, I could easily make out his figure. The blanket covered halfway up his chest; his right hand lay beside his body, while the other rest peacefully on his stomach, slowly moving with the steady pace of his breathing. His head was very slightly tilted in my direction, and a few stray pieces of crimson locks lingered near his unsheltered eyes.

My breathing hitched. Oh god…did he always look like this?

As I continued to watch him intently, a strange mist gradually began to form in my mind. I didn’t know what was happening, but I was beginning to feel strangely light-headed. Staring at Ilya like this…there was something bewitching about it. I couldn’t control it. I don’t think I wanted to.

Before I realized what was happening, my head was suddenly right above his. My hands were on either side of his pillow, trying to hold me steady, as my lips hovered dangerously close to my best friend’s. I stared at Ilya’s sleeping face, my eyes filled with a hazy fog. How in the world did I get here?

I wondered if this is how Ilya felt. Was he spellbound the same way I was now? Did he watch me innocently at first before being drawn into some sort of trance? Whatever the reason…he’d have to forgive me for my actions. As I slid my eyes shut, I leaned forward and closed the small gap between us, capturing his lips.

A foreign, yet warm and gentle, feeling washed over my body, and I felt like I was dreaming. It was as if any fears or concerns I had were cleansed away by this liquid serenity. Although I knew I was awake, I couldn’t understand how reality could feel so soothing…so kind…so…perfect. The answer came to me almost instantly: it was because of Ilya.

A lot of things have happened in my life. A lot of things have changed. However, one thing that remained constant was that Ilya was always with me. I’ll admit that in the beginning, we hadn’t been that close; however, one day, it was like we both found something in each other that we never knew existed. It made me feel complete.

And here we were now. Here I was now, kissing my best friend while he was asleep. Was I being foolish, doing something like this? Was it just my body acting on its own accord? I never thought something like this could happen. I didn’t even know how I felt about all this. We’ve been best friends for so long that I never knew there could possibly be more. But right now, I could taste the possibilities…it was addicting.

His lips were slightly apart, and I could feel the entrance with my tongue. I licked the soft flesh, wanting so much to explore further. It was so painfully tempting, and yet, I somehow held myself back. I knew I couldn’t. A simple kiss was one thing, but what would he do if he woke up with my tongue in his mouth? I didn’t even want to think about that.

I kept chanting to myself in my mind. Just a bit longer. A few more seconds won’t hurt. It felt short and long at the same time. Thinking that it was going to end made me believe I didn’t have enough time; on the other hand, when I completely immersed myself and forgot about everything else, it felt like time had stopped. I had to pull back soon though. I told myself that repeatedly, but my body refused to comply.

To be kissed or to actually kiss…they were both different experiences, but they both yield the same intensity. I wasn’t sure which one I preferred. This was obviously much more than pleasing, but back then…when he was the one that did it…the electricity that flowed through my body made me forget how to breathe. I wished he could do it again…

Eventually, I actually got the nerve to pull back. Or…at least I tried to. For some reason, just as I barely ceased contact, I was once against pressed against him. Was it just my imagination, or was there a tangling pressure at the back of my head? I was so busy trying to figure things out that I didn’t realize that my lips weren’t the only ones that were moving now. The only thing I noticed was this kiss suddenly held much more…passion.

The feeling I had earlier was somehow surfacing as well. It was like thunder and lightning was raging through my body, and it was intensifying so quickly that my mind was blurring. I felt like I was being overwhelmed, and I wasn’t sure if I could hold myself up anymore. I shifted so that I could place my head back on my pillow, and to my surprise, the searing kiss lingered on. How in the world was I kissing sideways now? I asked myself that, but I failed to come up with an answer. I don’t think my brain was functioning properly. Then again, I didn’t care.

It wasn’t until I felt something slide into my mouth that it suddenly clicked that Ilya was kissing me back. That realization, along with the shock of something foreign roaming my cavity walls, was enough to jolt me back into reality. I almost jumped back. My head screamed one word: escape. I should escape. I should stop this right now…why didn’t I?

It was simple: my body wouldn’t let me.

Somehow, my tongue began to gingerly return every stroke that he gave. At first, he massaged gently, allowing me to slowly adapt to the wet contact. I initially thought it was sweet of him—moving slowly for my sake, that is. But, that was only at first. Much to my dismay, the force of our actions increased at an unbearable pace. It wasn’t long before my tolerance had almost completely diminished, and my cravings were dangerously bordering feral. I felt like I would lose my mind. The only coherent thought I had was the question of whether he was teasing me. I knew the answer to that.

After an agonizing length of struggling, the little self-control I had left ultimately escaped. Impatiently, with my inhibitions tossed, I swiftly took control, furiously exploring, wanting to taste as much of him as I could in whatever amount of time I had left. I’m sure he noticed this sudden change, as I did feel him gasp into my mouth—a gasp that quickly turned vocal and gradually grew louder until it became a muffled, yet steady, moan.

Heat began rushing to various parts of my body, and I unintentionally jerked back, trying to catch my breath before I passed out. I had my eyes closed and a hand carelessly thrown over my forehead, as I managed to take a few gulps of air. Barely a few seconds had passed before Ilya had suddenly descended on my lips once again. Unlike the first time, I responded with all I was worth, rivalling him in every way possible. I could only describe it as a paradox: it made me feel alive, and at the same time, weaker than I had ever been.

After some time, we were finally forced to pull apart. I didn’t think either of our bodies or minds could handle it anymore. As I lay beside him, my chest burning, I could feel a thin layer of sweat glazing my body. I raised my hand, wiping the crystal beads that had formed on my brow. My mind was now being filled with jumbled thoughts, accompanied by various sentiments. What was that?

It was a kiss, my mind told me. A real one.

“Pierre?” I made a sound in my throat, acknowledging that I heard him. Subsequently, I turned my head in his direction, still keeping my eyes closed. I could feel his gaze lingering on my glossy features, and I couldn’t help but feel somewhat self-conscious. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah.”

Silence filled the room. All I could hear was the sound of our breathing, which was slowly returning to their normal pace. I think a few minutes had passed when I finally decided to open my violet orbs to meet his waiting gaze. Even as our eyes met, we still didn’t talk. At that point, I think we were both at a loss of words. Honestly, what do you say to your same-sex best friend after a kiss like that?

The silence was giving me time to absorb everything. It also gave me time to think. The problem was that thinking for me right now could only allow doubts to arise. I suddenly gained a firm, yet unintentional, notion that this would completely change everything between us. I suddenly had a vision of us deciding that it would be better if we weren’t together so much. I suddenly felt extremely stupid.

“I’m sorry,” I abruptly said, tearing my gaze away from him. I felt like an idiot for apologizing now. I knew it wouldn’t do any good, but I didn’t know what else I could do.

“For what?” His tone was laced with innocent confusion and at the same time, an air of calmness that I failed to grasp.

“For what just happened,” I replied seriously. “I shouldn’t have done that.”

Ilya hummed a pleased note, as he casually wrapped his arm around my waist. “The only thing you should be sorry about is for not kissing back when I had done it first.”

I was about to tell him to stop joking around and continue my lecture about the significance of our actions. As I opened my mouth to speak, however, his words seem to properly settle in my mind. “You knew I was awake?” I asked, staring at him incredulously. I felt my face become flushed, and I wanted to smack him for making me feel this way. If he knew…why didn’t he do anything about it?

“Well…” he began slowly, a devilish smirk playing onto his lips, “I do now.”

I gaped at him. Did he just…trick me into admitting that? I was going to yell at him as well, but nothing came out when I opened my mouth. He laughed lightly, his jade eyes playfully watching my reaction. Couldn’t he at least try to hide his amusement? Of course not…this was Ilya we were talking about.

“Idiot…” I finally managed to say, blushing profusely. “I can’t believe you did that,” I crossly added, trying to push back the heat that had invaded my face.

My best friend rolled his eyes at me, still looking thoroughly elated. “Well…if it makes you feel better, I did have my suspicions. I just needed to confirm them.”

“Suspicious from what?” I asked curiously.

“From what you did afterwards.” Ilya licked his lips in a sultry manner, illustrating his point. “I don’t think you would have done that if you weren’t aware of my own initiative.”

“Oh right…that…” I looked away from him, as my uneasiness seemed to return to me.

When I didn’t say anything for a while, he finally asked, “Do you regret what happened?”

I had to think about that for a moment. At the time, it actually felt right, but now, as I lay here beside him left with my thoughts, I wasn’t so sure. “Well…sort of…” I slowly admitted. Heaving a sigh, I forced myself to meet his gaze. “Won’t this change things between us?”

Ilya looked thoughtful for a moment, probably evaluating my question. He finally answered, “Well of course, but changes aren’t necessarily bad.”

“You’re being too naïve.”

“And you’re being strangely pessimistic.”

We stared at each other. I knew that both of us were right in our own way. I also knew that he was probably thinking a bit more clearly than I was, but I wasn’t going to admit that.

“I don’t regret it,” he suddenly declared, breaking the silence. “And I was hoping…that you felt the same way…”

My eyes softened. His tone…it changed the same way when he thought I didn’t understand him earlier. All I wanted was to lift his spirits, and before I knew it, I was repeating my past actions. “I do!” I fiercely confessed. “I mean…I do feel the same way.” Ilya granted me that gentle smile of his—the one that let me know that I said exactly what he needed to hear. I found myself smiling back, and I wondered how one person could have so much influence on me.

“We’re still best friends, right?”

“Yeah…”

“And our relationship has always been unorthodox, Pierre.”

“That’s true…”

“Are you that surprised about what happened?”

His third question struck a nerve inside me, and suddenly, I could grasp his point. I stared at him, partially stunned at how he knew exactly what to say to help me see his view. How in the world did he just do that? Or better yet, how did he always do that?

“No…I’m not surprised at all,” I eventually gave my reply. “But I am annoyed that you tried to do that while you thought I was asleep,” I playfully added with a wink.

“Looks who’s talking,” he shot back, grinning smugly. Ilya then yawned, closing his eyes for a moment. “I’m tired,” he stated.

I released a gentle laugh, nodding my head. “Me too.”

“Wanna sleep?” he asked, his gaze softening.

I watched him for a moment and sent him an amused grin. Tentatively, I raised my hand, before brushing my thumb over his lips. “You took the words right out of my mouth.”

My best friend chuckled to himself before turning onto his back. I did the same. As I closed my eyes, I cleared my mind into a blank slate, feeling only emotions of comfort and affection. It had only been a few moments before I heard Ilya’s voice again.

“By the way Pierre…”

“Hm?”

“Do you think…we can start having sleepovers again?”

I softly laughed before saying, “Of course.”

With that, he wished me goodnight, and I whispered the same. Just as I felt myself drifting into a peaceful slumber, I felt his fingers gingerly lace around mine. I smiled to myself, before giving him a gentle squeeze in return.

I didn’t know what the future held. I knew we weren’t your ordinary best friends, and even now, I didn’t feel that we were an actual couple either. Maybe I was in some sort of denial, but that’s how I felt. I knew we would have to talk more about all this later as well, but for now, all I needed to know was that he’d be by my side. And that, by far, was more than enough.

Owari