Author's Note/ this is the story of how my worst enemy, John Ford Jr. (also called b.j. coz he hates that!) killed my best friend, Stickimo. Please review and remember FORD IS A MURDERER!!!!!!!

Tuesday

The Killing

I was at P.E. playing with my best friend Stickimo. Yes, he is a stick, but he's my stick. I found him on the ground under a tree one day. Stickimo is a real estate agent. His partner is his brother, Berto. Well, one day, Berto had to go on a business trip. He told Stickimo not to go explore new lands for houses, but Stickimo didn't listen. After we finished playing "Hurl acorns at innocent passer-bys" Stickimo said he had to go. I begged him not to, but he was as stubborn as a rock. He said that just because Berto was on a business trip, he shouldn't have to wait.

So Stickimo went off exploring, but he explored in the wrong place. Down the back of John's shirt(eeeeeeew). John squiggled and squirmed and finally took him out.

John looked at me menacingly, and then with a cold look in his eyes, he broke Stickimo in half…twice. He then threw the remains of my poor friend into the garden and stalked off.

I shouted John's name and kicked him in the shins. We had to go inside after that, where I had to break the news to Stickimo's family. His wife, Stickima, silently weeped while their sons burst into tears. Stickimio, the elder son, was only 7 years old at the time. The baby boy, Stickems, who was only 22 months old, understood perfectly what was going on. That day I vowed revenge on John Ford, and one day, he will get what's coming to him.

After school, I found most of Stickimo's body and took him home to prepare him for his funeral, which would be held on Thursday.

Thursday

The Funeral

The funeral was meant to be held during P.E. , but a change of plans occurred and it happened after school. Stickimo is buried on the Soft Surface in an anonymous location. The anonymity of the grave site of Stickimo was requested by his family who fear grave robbers. They are also paranoid about Professor Frankenstein and whatnot. If you go to my school and you know where Stickimo is buried because I told you, DO NOT tell the second graders. They are on a mission to find Stickimo's body and burn it. I don't know why. They were told that he is buried under second base, which is not true. John Ford's little brother is in the second grade, which might have something to do with their sickening behavior.

Berto attended the funeral and blames himself no matter how many times he's told its not his fault. He is in counseling. Stickima's parents are both dead, so obviously they could not come. Stickimo's father passed away only last year, while his mother could not come since she is a tree, and is rooted to the ground.

If you have anything to say to Stickimo's family, please send in a review. They will receive your best/worst wishes (best - thanks for your support, worst - go to hell) through me.

If you would like to say nasty things about John Ford or criticize him or say polite things about him (nice - stupid, mean - good) please review. Again, anything you say will be passed on to him. (please say mean things!!!!)

Thank you again and remember-THIS REALLY HAPPENED!!!!

Love,

The Stick Family, Berto, and Luna