Preface to Lust & Love—Lujuria & Amor, Collected Poems

PG-13, Parents Strongly Cautioned: Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13.

I’ve been told that I’m too “PC” or “PG” in my poetic expression on a couple of occasions, so I’m going to loosen up my verse's thematic content a bit, extend it past flirting and put more ‘adult’ themes in this collection. I guess ‘adult’ because it includes the taboo ‘sex’ (copulation, coitus, masturbation) topic. Sad to say that this powerful human drive is relegated a back-seat in the bus and is subject to the drivel of ignorami; perhaps that’s one reason why there’s an explosion of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs). Who knows what the world would be like if more lifetime habits like stretching, exercising, fasting, thinking, speaking, dancing, sketching, writing, singing, love making (fucking and much more), . . . were openly discussed.

In any case, I can’t remember who it was that said that, “we live in a society that permits full frontal violence, yet bans full frontal nudity”; but, that’s the reason why this collection is rated PG-13, Parents Strongly Cautioned: Some material may be inappropriate for children under 13. That’s probably the right age, since I dimly recall a time when a woman’s mouth seemed to be the yuckiest thing in the world and I had no conception of cunnilingus or fellatio; though I’d observed pigs, horses, sheep, etc., fornicating and had received both my parents’s explanation of this strange act.

Interesting that most of life reproduces by schemes so different than human copulation. I’ll leave the biology and psychology to Lynn Margulis, Richard Dawkins and Dr. Kinsey. No amount of words or pictures can demystify this strange physical act which gets caught up with the rainbow emotion, ‘Love’, and then gets to be a really confusing topic.

Just think about it a moment, and you can even catch the ludicrous nature of sex,—the man drains blood from his vital organs (and stops ‘thinking’) to make a tube erectile; and the woman opens herself to penetration—both of them exposing their vulnerabilities. Then there’s the pumping action thing,—pretty hilarious until you experience it in its full climactic glory yourself. (It has to be a compelling wonderful thrill for us to throw aside all the harsh reality that we know comes with raising children.)

Sex is only dirty if you don’t wash your hands; or, don’t brush your teeth; or, pick the wrong orifice; or, confuse it with pain or degradation.

Due to a long divorce process I’ve been celibate for three years. I advocate ‘abstinence’ to anyone that can master the self-restraint. ¡As a wise woman once said, if you abuse yourself you’re going to get excited, you’re going to not get it, and then you’ll wind up frustrated or end up rubbing yourself raw! Although I’ve told my own kids that sex is OK if they want to exercise that option, they’re all still virgins—I’ve also told them that waiting for the right person is worth it. In my humble opinion there’s nothing sweeter or deeper than finding that ‘special one.’ Besides, sex is not an official ‘sport,’just yet. If a man can’t ‘wait,’ it’s probably not the best signal for a smooth future; and, if he can’t distinguish between appetite and hunger that’s also not a good sign; lastly, no amount of great sex will hold a partner for long. So, ¡Abstinence is a very good option!

As for virginity—in my opinion, a mental state. A woman could have never had a man penetrate her vagina with his penis and yet be a harlot in every conceivable way. And, a woman that’s been forced or raped could still be a virgin in every possible manner except a technicality.

Fellatio and cunnilingus are sex (they’re just not coitus, Mr. Clinton.) As to masturbation, well,—that’s also sex, just auto-inflicted: in the long-term, a lonely recreation. It’s probably a necessary trial period in a human’s life before unleashing untamed and unbridled the wild horses of desire from their chaparral enclosure. Although self-gratification is probably a form of self-exploration, it can get hard to tell where exploration and indulgence cross; and, more disturbingly, ¿Is coitus without Love masturbation? Technically it’s not, but I’m personally not so sure. Lot’s of hard questions, very few clear answers. This is for sure, if you can’t abstain, then masturbation is the next safest form of ‘sex,’ (unless you don’t wash your hands or your devices.)

Lastly, ‘sex’ is probably 90 percent mental. I stopped having ‘sex’ three years ago when my Ex told me that I enjoyed pleasing her sexually so I could ‘control’ her. I never touched her again. Be careful what you say.

The chapters are not arranged in any particular manner.