just a little parody dedicated to that whole recent disaster in the south pacific and the ultimate solution to population explosion...

“There is only one winner and tens of thousands of losers in this enormous tragedy that has befallen this part of the world…”

Andromicas shook her head at the Sphere before glancing back at Galactica pointedly, “Now, now, was all that entirely necessary?” she asked.

Galactica huffed haughtily as she shifted her position on her lounge chair as she polished her nails in sapphires. “What?” she asked as-a-matter-of-factly. “They deserved it and you know it.”

“Couldn’t have made it happen at a better spot either,” Populus commented from the side. “People were just multiplying ceaselessly in that area. They we’re spawning like a disgusting virus. Imagine the density,” he made a face. “Ew!”

“It’s a damn shame,” Mervidian commented carelessly. “But what’s done is done, I always say.”

Andromicas shot her a wry look. “You’re one to talk. I can’t believe you actually had a hand in this,” she told her. “When Altas finds out, you’ll all have Cefiro on your hands.”

“In my opinion, we did Altas a huge favor,” Galactica spoke up. “I mean a couple more of these and these stupid humans might just take a hint.” She paused then took on a different tone. “Did you see that whole bit on Thailand?” she prompted proudly. “And that whole subduction thing, it was a work of art. Pure genius.”

“Yeah, but look what happened after an hour,” Populus pointed out. “Those dumb tourists all came right back. It’s like nothing happened.” He shook his head in disdain. “Half the country’s in mourning over some loss. A couple thousand still missing and injured and they all spring right back to vacation mode. Maybe y’all should give a couple aftershocks to those parts you know, just to get them thinking.”

“No, no,” Andromicas explained. “We’re not supposed to punish these tiny humans. We’re supposed to be helping them.”

“Helping them??” Populus repeated sceptically. “Like they’re helping us? Seriously Andromicas.”

“And I can’t believe you’re still on the side of these flimsy beings anyway,” Mervidian said. “With the way they’ve been destroying your Amazon forests for the past five centuries, I think it’d do you good to have a little pride.”

“…while families mourn their loss and the count of the victims of this horrific natural disaster steadily increasing to 120,000 today. This is going to be a Christmas that will not be easily forgotten.”

Andromicas frowned at the Sphere before she looked at each of the gods in turn. They had valid points, sure, but she always had a sympathy problem that they’ve been trying to deal with. They weren’t supposed to sympathize with the humans. Humans were stupid.

“I say it’s right about time we teach these humans a lesson,” Mervidian continued.

“I wouldn’t mind another go on that tsunami bit myself,” Galactica shrugged.

“Oh, you can’t be repetitive or they’ll suspect something,” Populus waved them away. “Besides, random disasters get boring after a while. Like that three in a row storms we just sent down Southeast Asia a few months ago. I was snoring in my seat after the second one.”

“Frankly, I don’t know why we bother,” Mervidian started. “They don’t learn lessons. They’re too stupid for that. We’ve been trying to get in their heads for—I can’t even remember how long, and how does it turn out? They never change! They’ll never change,” she said with conviction.

“Then I guess we’ll just have to hit them disaster after disaster until each and every one of these idiotic, corrupt, pesky humans are eliminated then, won’t we?” Galactica suggested airily. “Then we’ll finally have the world back to how it always was, back to how it should be.”

“They’re just getting what they deserve, Andromicas,” Populus patted her back as he saw her frowning still. “You’ll see. Sooner or later, it’s going to be over.”

“One way or another,” Galactica said darkly, displaying an evil grin.

“It’s just the way it’s gotta be,” Populus added. “You know what they say, things happen for a reason.”

“Yeah, so they better quit pissing me off then,” Mervidian said dryly. “Or things’ll really start happening for a reason. You know the earth’s ¾ water, right?”

Andromicas rolled her eyes. “Oh, I hope you all drown in your own egos.”

“Oh Andromicas,” Galactica made a face at her. “Why don’t you just go make like a tree and grow up?” she sneered her joke and laughed herself.

“It’s every natural resource for himself,” Populus declared. “And I don’t know about you fellas, but I sure as heck don’t plan on being the loser. So,” he looked at them expectantly as he asked, “what’s it going to be?”

“Hey, I’m a non-renewable resource,” Galactica pointed out meaningfully.

“I just don’t give a damn anymore,” Mervidian shrugged. “Maybe we should just melt all those polar ice caps like I was thinking of last year. You know that idea that Andromicas was so intent on countering.”

Andromicas shot her a scorned look and explained in a painfully slow manner. “If you melt the polar ice caps, you drown the entire earth. We’d all lose. It’s a horrible idea.”

Populus spoke up. “Hey, I’m always up for a good swim,” he joked and laughed.

Mervidian groaned as she reconsidered. “Nah, I’m sick of water anyway,” she wrinkled her nose in distaste.

“But I thought you said the earth is ¾ water,” Populus pointed out mischievously. “It would be so easy.”

“I was thinking more like meteor hits planet,” Mervidian suggested with a sly grin. “Planet goes ka-boom.”

Galactica grinned. “I like it.”

”Makes for a great movie too,” Populus quipped.

“You guys are insane,” Andromicas shook her head in disgust.

“He-hey,” Populus raised his hands in defeat and said with a good-natured tone. “If you can’t beat them, leave them and their diabolical plans the hell alone. Am I right, guys?”

“You just wait until Altas hears about this,” Andromicas said frowning.

“What? I’m betting 20 to 1, Altas is on our side,” Galactica said, standing up from her loft to leave. “You think he cares about any puny humans?”

Mervidian was already shaking her head as-a-matter-of-factly, her arms crossed over her chest. “No siree.”

“Would you just re-lax,” Populus assured Andromicas as he passed. “It’ll be over before you even know it,” he said with another grin. “And then the human race will all just be like this vague, brief, stinky bad dream.”

“Honestly,” Mervidian added with a laugh, “this ship’s going to be way easier to sink than that whole Venus issue couple million years back, remember?”

The three gods walked away leaving Andromicas staring into the Sphere of Life.