A/N: I blame this entirely on a three-hour long bus ride where I sat behind two people – TWO! – who had newspapers to read, while I, alas, had none. Comments are nice.

An Ode to Newspapers

Newspapers, newspapers, oh what a sight

You are with your messages of rage and fright

Tales of heroism, adultery and gin

Oh where to start, paper, where to begin?

Oh what a shame it would simply be

To sit behind someone, only able to see

The headlines printed, big black on white,

And not the article, to shed some light.

“Oh what a horrible, terrible sight

That is for my mind’s eye,” you probably say

And that is why I ask of you, if I may:

Print now the articles great, bright and big

So we with poor eyes or pockets can dig

The fluency of the language, the wit and the whim –

Not doing so for us is a horrible sin!

And the reporters would get their fans, right and true,

That’s – of course! – the main reason I implore this of you.