A/n: Sorry about the lines.For some strange reason, wouldn't let me put spaces between the stanzas, so I had to put in rulers instead. Enjoy! DC

Ms. MaD’cat

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Dear me, today’s September fifth,

The start of a brand new year

Teaching fourth grade is so much fun

I love to fill the room with fear!

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Hello, dear children.

I’m Ms. MaD’cat, of Hard Knocks University

Half a B.A. is what I’ve got

Which is good enough for you and me

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Open your books to page 605

They’re heavy? Why, only ten pounds!

Times tables are boring, so we’ll skip straight ahead

To the calculus—now, no complaining sounds!

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Now, A plus B plus C divided by Z

Proves that the sheep are red

A squared plus B squared equals beta, alpha, c

That’s enough of algebra A.

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Pi is dessert

Theta is Greek

That’s not right?

Shut up, you geek!

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For homework tonight,

You’ll read from All History

Pages one through five

And twenty-one through three-oh-three.

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There’s a test tomorrow

On Jesus and Brutus

They’re not in the book;

You’ll have to go Google ‘em

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And English, oh yes!

We’re reading Voltaire!

And Pope and Hemingway,

And Marie St. Claire

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We’ll analyze Poe

And dabble with King

Dive into Tolkien,

Memorize Rowling

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It may seem too hard,

But believe me, my dears,

By the end of the year,

You’ll be too dead to care

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Walking like zombies,

Sleep-deprived psychos.

I cackle evilly—

What a perfect scenario!

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You, boy, there!

You yawn! You dare!

Detention for everyone!

You’ll spend lunch in my lair!

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Don’t be afraid,

Little Anita Alezo

I’m just a nice old lady…

With an alter ego

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I’ll cook you all in the microwave oven

And eat you if you’re not nice

I’ll pull out my magic wand and hex you,

Turn you all into mice!

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My name is Viola MaD’cat

I’m a perfectly kind old soul

I truly love children (they’re great with red wine)

And their misery is beautiful to behold

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I’m Ms. Viola Ma-du-du-da-cat

I’ll hunt you all down if you leave

You’re stuck with me for the rest of the year

If you survive past Christmas Eve.

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Is that the bell, dear girls and boys?

Yes, it’s time to leave.

Bye bye till tomorrow, I’ll miss you till then

And remember—I love you all dearly.