“Using and Bruising Me”

Chapter 1: Unwavering and Insensible Lust

Lauren woke up in a slumber state at the beeping of her alarm clock. 5:00 AM. She wondered how she spent more time sleeping than anything else and it still felt like it was never enough.

She got up and put on the outfit it looked like she was going to wear… hmm… the usual, a pair of jeans and some baggy sweatshirt. She slipped out of her sweats and Pajama T-shirt and slipped on jeans, a t-shirt, and her softball sweatshirt. She straightened her hair and put a little bit of eye shadow and lip-gloss, and looked in the mirror.

Lauren was about 5’4” and had a body that seemed to curve in the wrong places and no matter how much she ran and dieted she didn’t feel beautiful. Maybe it was her face, Lauren looked up. She had millions of freckles that she could never cover up, and these big bulging blue eyes that always seemed to be examining something. She sighed softly and grabbed her bag and got into her car to head to school.

As she was driving to school, she wondered if her senior year would be better than any of the other years of school. Better than the years when everyone is trying to fit in and have a relationship that would make them happy. Boyfriends… she always was the one in her grade that never really had a boyfriend and people assumed it didn’t bother her. Lauren they would say, Is the sensible one who worries about her grades.

Everything she was doing right now was building up to her goal to become a writer. She always had A’s and was in every advanced class she could find. Being smart and almost always right definitely had some downfalls. She would never admit it, but every once in a while an attractive guy catches her eye and her mind starts to wander. Of course she was too shy to ask anyone out.

And do her dismay, but not bewilderment, a guy had never asked her out either.

As she stepped inside her high school she took in her surroundings. She looked around and found her locker. As she was trying her combo, she felt a presence to the side of her. As she looked up she saw the most beautiful guy in the world.

Well, at least to her anyways.

His best traits were that he had golden hair and piercing dark brown eyes. She definitely had to look up to see his face. He was about 6’1” and was wearing a t-shirt that hugged his perfectly toned body in all of the right places. Lauren had to grind her teeth, because if she wasn’t so sensible, she would have let out a quite embarrassing sigh. She wished she was invisible so she could look at him all day.

When Lauren noticed that the guys had saw her and was about to say something, She evaded the conversation by shyly shutting her locker and sauntering away.

She found that throughout all of her first half of the day, she couldn’t think of one thing except this perfect guy she had seen. She felt that at that moment she would have done ANYTHING to be with that guy! That was a scary thought.

Also, She wondered if it was that she was somehow connected to him, and than her sensible half screamed at her IT’S JUST LUST AND YOU KNOW IT. Even if it was more than that it would only be from your half. A guy like that wouldn’t glance in your direction. Lauren tried to dissuade the negative thoughts, but found herself agreeing with them. For the rest of the day, she decided she should just think about something else…

At lunch she sat with her friends and they all seemed to pick up on something different about their sensible friend.

Her best friend Brenda was the first to notice. “Hey Lauren, are you feeling alright?” She asked with her nose wrinkled and a slight smile on her face.

Lauren looked at her tall, brown-haired friend with a sarcastic glare. “I’m fine.” Lauren commented. “I mean as fine as you can be on the first day of school.”

Brenda smirked at that, “Hey at least it’s not that bad. We’re seniors now. We can do whatever we want.”

“What world are you, like, living in Brenda?” Lauren asked Brenda perkily.

After a couple of seconds of hard glaring at each other, they burst out into giggles. Brenda and Lauren had somehow became friends over the duration of the school years, and no matter how much Lauren tried to be singular and serious, Brenda was always there, and they were always friends.

Lauren finished her lunch and ran up early to her 5th hour class, which was calculus. She sat in the back corner of the classroom. She liked sitting in the back of the classroom because she could observe people without them looking at her. She felt like she could be part of everyone’s conversations and feelings from a place she could observe them. She liked to be invisible during most of her classes, , even though she knew that longing to watch and listen all of the time was kind of creepy.

Honestly, Lauren enjoyed learning. Even when she was at home she was always reading. It was just something that she needed. She needed to be learning and reading. It was a part of her. She was tapping her pencil on her notebook, thinking about what she was going to write next at home when her thoughts were interrupted.

She looked up and saw him. Yes, him.

Her mouth dropped open. She couldn’t believe that he was here. She was the only one she knew that came up to class early from Lunch. Only She loved being alone in the classroom thinking.

This guy was way too much! Not only was he bombarding her mind all of the time, now he was in her class! She wanted to sock him for being so perfect looking and so… she couldn’t put her finger on it.

He obviously noticed her expression and inquired. “What?”

“Why are you up here?” She asked without realizing how dumb she sounded.

“To finish some homework.” He said.

“It’s the first day of school.” She muttered without expression.

“You’re right. I lied. I just wanted to make sure I knew where my class was so I didn’t get lost… but looks like I found it alright.” He said, about to leave.

“Sorry, but you’re new aren’t you?” Lauren asked.

He looked down at her. “Yeah.” She held his gaze and got lost in his eyes. She couldn’t look away. She started to blush and then looked away. She kicked herself. How come she was melting like the guy was making out with her, jeez.

He laughed gently and Lauren’s mind was reeling. Did he know that she was totally lusting for him? Could he tell? Was he going to avoid her now? She wouldn’t like that. Oh my god she told herself you have to stop obsessing.

Instead he just sat down next to her and asked her what she was there.

“It sounds really stupid, but I like coming up here early and thinking or whatever. Clearing my mind before my classes.” She blushed as she said this knowing how weird she sounded.

He laughed again. She smiled when he said, “you don’t have to be embarrassed, we all have our little quirks.”

“Oh Yeah? What’s yours?” She blushed again, realizing she had just given this guy a compliment.

“Well maybe not everyone…” He said, smirking. She laughed at that.

After they talked for a while people started piling into the classroom, she looked up at the clock and couldn’t believe that it had already been 10 minutes that she had been talking to this guy. She still didn’t know his name, but knew she would soon enough.

He actually had a great personality, and she thought maybe they could become friends. She thought maybe that he would stay by her during the class but then she walked in.

You know the she. She’s in everyone’s school. The one girl that guys turn heads to catch a glimpse, The girl that every other girl sucks up to, and to put the last detail into this description, she is the most beautiful girl you will probably ever meet. Our “She” was Renee Parker. She obviously was into this guy and Lauren could see it happening from a mile away.

“Hey Kyle!” She said. At this Kyle turned his head and checked her out. Lauren could totally tell that she had lost any chance of being friends with this guy, and to be honest she was glad. She didn’t want to be friends with this guy, Kyle, if he fell for Renee’s BS. And that’s what it was BS, because she was not all that great.

All guys went for Renee in the end. He walked towards her, and she wrapped her arms around him and kissed him. I guess they had met over the summer… but then again, with Renee you never know. She could’ve just dug her nails into him when she met him this morning.

After that, the day seemed to go quickly for Lauren. Maybe it flew by because she was occupying her time daydreaming about Kyle. When she went to her locker, he was there. She tried with all of her might to go unnoticed, but unfortunately she was not having good luck.

“Hey I know you.” He said to her in a friendly tone.

“Yeah,” Lauren said with a pasted on smile. “See you later.”

She headed home after school, since she didn’t have to work her job at the bookstore on Mondays.

After she worked on her fictions a little while and talked to Brenda on the phone, she took a shower and got ready for bed.

After watching a couple of movies that were on TV, she started to drift off

…He wrapped his arms around her and pulled her closer to him. He started kissing her passionately and she wrapped her arms around his neck and pushed her lips harder against him. She took off his shirt and felt his back and his chest. He had his hand up her shirt and started kissing her neck. He pulled her onto the bed and stripped off her shirt and kissed her chest. She moaned with delight and wrapped her legs around him tightly and felt him all over…she looked up and saw dark brown eyes piercing her own.

“Kyle?” She gasped.

She shot up in bed. Whoa.