Wait For Me
An Essay on Abstinence By EruDaughter

“Cause I am waiting for you, praying for you darling, wait for me too. Wait for me as I wait for you…”

Wait for Me by Rebecca St. James

Wait, how our culture hates that word, we want it now, we want it fast, and we want to make up the rules as we go along. I think some things are worth waiting for. One thing I think everyone would be better off waiting for is sex. I am not the only one who thinks so; in a study done by the Massachusetts Department of Health 55.9 of the youth in MA are choosing to wait.

In a culture where we are constantly bombarded with sexual comments, innuendo and displays, it is very surprising number of teens waiting for sex. On our televisions we see stuff like MTV which is full of foul language, and explicit martial. The theme is “do what you want,” or “Why wait?” A very good question, why wait?

Some wait because it is part of their religion some because it is easier and some because it is the only one hundred percent guaranteed way to prevent getting pregnant or STDs.

Top Ten Reasons to Practice Abstinence
1. I want to follow my family’s values.
2. I want to respect myself.
3. I want to respect others.
4. I want to have a good reputation.
5. I do not want to feel guilty.
6. I am not ready for marriage.
7. I do not want to get pregnant.
8. I am not ready to be a parent.
9. I do not want to be infected with a sexually transmitted infection.
10. I do not want HIV.

Source: Meeks Heit Sexuality and Character Education K-12

These cover just about all the reasons I can think of to not have sex until marriage.

One thing I wish to make very clear before you, my reader, read more of the essay is that I do not want you to think that I am judgmental or spiteful regarding those who have not waited for marriage and had sex. I just have seen the heart break that goes with their decisions. I have watched them give up their dreams to raise a child they were not ready for, I have had them staying with my family because they couldn’t afford to live anywhere else. I have seen them working long hours and coming home to spend a few hours sleeping and seeing their child before heading off to their second job. I have seen too many tears spilled because they regretted the decision and would do anything to got back and change what happened.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One more teenager has gotten a STD. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight. One in four sexually active teens has a STD. One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight.

As a Christian I believe that being abstinent is what God wants, I have a Jewish friend and her religion echoes the same request. For my Muslim friend it is not a choice, it is required. And it is not just the religious who are campaigning for teens to abstain; the Mass Department of Health has had an abstinence program since 1998. Part of its mission statement is, “to significantly increase the number of male and female youth who choose to remain abstinent prior to marriage.”

To wait is some times thought to be the hardest choice, really its not, it is like exercising a muscle. The longer you wait the easier it gets to say “no”. By saying no you are guaranteeing you will not have to worry about STDs, you will not have to explain to your future spouse what you did, or who you were with. You will never have to decide weather to finish school or drop out to raise a child. You will never need to worry about being pregnant, you will never have to worry about being able to pay for birth control and you will never need to think about needing an abortion.

I know none of us like to hear the word “no” but think of all it saves for you, are eight seconds of pleasure worth the worry? Is waking up to an empty bed knowing they left in the dark of night worth the few seconds? Is it worth the pain or itching? Is it worth it?

When some preteens and teenagers were asked “Why do you abstain?” or “Why will you abstain?” this is what they had to say:

"I will be able to concentrate on friends and school."
-Jack, 17.

“I will be able to live life the way I want until I'm ready to have a family...I wouldn't ruin my parents lives."
-Catherine, 13.

“I wouldn't worry my parents so they wouldn't die of so much stress."
- Angela, 13.

“If I don't become a parent as a teenager, I can enjoy my life."
-Stephanie, 13.

“Experience being a teen before you have to raise one."
-Melissa, 11.

“I will have overcome one of the hardest obstacles in my life and will walk away knowing I am strong."
-Amanda, 13.

Why do I abstain?
I abstain because I don’t want the worry, I abstain because I do not consider myself to be ready for parenthood, I abstain because I want to have a life before I make one. I abstain because I want to only have memories of my husband. And I abstain because I am worth the wait.

“If I wait to have sex, I'm the smartest person in the world."
-Jeanette, 12.