Manifesto Puffs
by Rachel Weisserman
Dedicated to Chuck Klosterman and all the other pop culture perspectivists.

I am no less plausible than
any other explanation.

I dictate
everything you read
and more to the point,
everything you don’t.

I honestly believe my perception
mirrored someone I never knew.

I cut
an amazingly wide swath.

I am the least satisfying revenge anyone will ever inflict.

I overextend any
suspension of disbelief
a rational adult might harbor.

I provide a glimmer
of hope and a
balanced breakfast.

I am a bizarre paradox created by the 2-D thumbnails
of culture.

I am noteworthy
for running about
and avoiding major collisions.

I am the hyperaccelerated manifestion
of the gap
between postmodern greatness.

I am a complete reinvention
of the disaffectation
of success.

I am far less robotic
than an archetype
for anything particularly accurate.

I am an ongoing
strategy problem.

I am indeed marginally famous with the utmost
sincerity.

I do not know who I am
but I am very glad
to be here.