The New Adventures of Jack

By Nix Nada

Once upon a time there was a boy named Jack, because all stories need a boy named Jack. Jack lived in a far off land called Moroslavia.

Now, the whole country of Moroslavia was under an evil curse (since the king of Moroslavia announced his controversial broomstick tax) and it was, forever after, a dark and stormy night.

At breakfast time the owls went HOOT!! HOOT!! which quite put the people off their cornflakes. At lunchtime the thunder went BOOM!! BOOM!! and the lightening went KRA-KA-KA-BOOM!!! and no-one fancied their cheese and pickle sandwiches, I can tell you.

So one day, (round about tea-time but you could never tell) Jack decided he would do something about it. So, he pulled on his Wellington boots and stomped out into the rain to find someone to ask for help.

Soon after entering the dense, spooky (and of course permanently dark and stormy) forest that covers all of Moroslavia, he met an owl.

"Wise old owl," said Jack, "please tell me how I can save Moroslavia from this terrible curse."

The owl swivelled its head around and around as if thinking some serious, head-spinning thoughts. Finally, it seemed to come to a decision.

"HOOT!! HOOT!!" it said.

"Well," said Jack, "that doesn't sound very wise to me." And with that, he set off once again on his journey.

When he had walked quite some distance through the creepy old trees, he found a gremlin, which is like a goblin, only with more hair and less friends.

"Hello, smelly old gremlin," said Jack, because he was the hero and could afford to be a little cocky. "Do you know how to save Moroslavia from the curse?"

The gremlin looked Jack up and down and gave him a wide, sickly grin.

"EAT YOUR FACE!! EAT YOUR FACE!!" cried the gremlin, jumping up and down with excitement. "EAT YOUR FACE!!"

Jack sighed. "I'll get no sense out of you, I see," he said, and went on his way.

"Eat my face," tutted Jack. "Why do gremlins always want to eat my face?"

Soon, he came to an old cottage, deep in the woods.

"Hello," thought Jack, "a creepy old cottage. I'll find help here for sure!" and so saying, he pushed the door open, slowly.

CREEEEEEAAAAAAAKKKKK, went the door, but it stuck half way. Jack gave a shove, then another - CREAK!! CREAK!!

With that, the door fell open, and Jack fell onto the floor of the cottage with a bump.

Looking up slightly, he saw the unmistakable feet... of a witch! Swallowing hard, he forced himself to look up some more and, sure enough, just as he had feared, the feet were on the end of the legs of a witch and they were joined to the bottom of a witch and so on, right up to the pointy black hat...

...of a witch!!

Jack somehow managed to scramble to his feet, back into a corner and bow respectfully, all at the same time.

"B-B-Begging your pardon, mistress," stammered Jack - because it always pays to be nice to people who can turn you into a smelly old toad with the wink of an eye. "I was just out walking, trying to find some way to lift the terrible curse that's over Moroslavia."

The witch laughed, a horrible, high-pitched cackle - HA HA HA HAAAA!!! she went, and HA HA HA HAAAAAA!!! again

"It was me," she laughed. "I put the curse on the country because of that stupid, fat king! And it'll never be broken as long as I live! Unless..."

"Y-Yes?" said Jack, feeling more scared than he'd ever been.

The witch grinned. "Unless... I had a nice meal in me. Then I might feel better about things. Yes, then I'd remove the curse."

"That's easy," said Jack.

"Yes," agreed the witch. "You let me eat you, and I'll remove the curse."

"Ah," said Jack. "Not so good. So, let me see if I've got this straight - the curse will never be lifted as long as you live, unless I agree to hop in that big cauldron over there and become Jack stew?"

The witch winked at him. "You're a quick one," she cackled.

"Well," said Jack, walking over to the huge cauldron. "There's only one thing I can do, I suppose."

"That's a good boy," grinned the witch.

"I really am sorry about this," said Jack as he heaved the giant ladle from inside the cauldron and brought it down on the witch's head - CLONG!!!!

As the witch fell, the sun came out and the clouds dispersed. Birds began singing in the trees and squirrels began doing whatever squirrels do when the sun is out. Eat nuts, probably.

All in all, it was a beautiful summer's afternoon, thought Jack.

He shrugged. It's a pity it's ten o'clock at night though...

THE END