“I Hate You, My Love”

I stare confusedly at a picture of you

Wondering how you work.

You are one of the few people that I could never figure out:

You neglect love

What kind of freak turns away love?

Apparently you do.

What is it that I like about you?

I’m not quite sure.

Everybody needs love.

And I’m not sure why,

But mine wasn’t good enough for you.

Or maybe it was,

And I never knew it.

And I never will know

Because you are gone.

Or are you?

No, you’re not.

You’re always there-

Haunting me.

You’re there when I close my eyes.

You’re there when I dream at night.

You’re even here with me right now-

But you’re not.

And maybe it’s my fault.

Maybe I should have said something.

But I can’t change the past.

I wish I could

But I can’t.

I want to make you be with me-

Here and now.

But you’re not.

You took 4 years of my life away from me.

No matter how much time passes

There will always be a hole in my heart.

A hole that was reserved for you-

A hole that you never filled.

I sit up at night staring at my computer

Hoping that you will talk to me.

I keep my phone with me 24/7

Just in case you call me.

I don’t know why I do-

It will never happen.

And I hate you for it

But, oh, do I love you.