Dear Someone,

I sat next to you again today. I sat upright, with my computer slowly loading my settings. You were typing fast on your keyboard. I reached for my mouse and you apologized, moving your papers away from my hand, the way I do. I typed up a piece about my father – I told you it was about Ninja Turtles.

That’s the wonderful thing about writing. Everything is a doorway to everything else. In Writer’s Workshop, we were doing group prompts – our final – and today it was Ninja Turtles (or any childhood cartoon. There’s always a safeguard on these prompts). I thought of a funny thing, and I laughed with Ally about it.

After that, I stared at my page. I wrote “Cataran” in hard, dark letters. I started to write “I don’t want to write right now,” my safety mechanism. Then I thought, ‘what am I doing?’ I had already thought of something to write about!

I wrote about my parents loving their little girl.

Do you remember our “I Am From” poems in Mrs. Druse’s class? You said you were from ‘be practical’ and ‘follow your dreams’. I thought that was beautiful – so simple and understandable, but it tells me all the tension that must be there in your life. Two ideals in conflict and you in the middle. But maybe a person can be both. My dream is to speak several languages, to study abroad during college in Europe and Central America, to raise bilingual children. I know that sounds ridiculous, but it’s also possible. I’ll have to work hard and dedicate myself to that dream. I can’t afford distractions – I understand that.

Be practical. Follow your dreams. That’s totally possible, if you work at it. It’s like marriage (okay, actually it is marriage – your parents’ marriage).

I know what it’s like to watch your parents fight. I remember watching my father clear six or seven feet of countertop with one angry swipe when he was blaming my mother for our filthy house. It really is filthy, but how could he blame her? She has arthritis, and my little brothers were so young at that time. They didn’t understand the need to clean, especially Daniel with his learning disability. And it’s not like my father really did his share, either.

That isn’t fair of me. He’s gotten better. He works hard to make a living and to help other people. He wants to do what’s right, and I know he loves me. I think that’s why I wrote about Ninja Turtles today.