I am Darkness.
When bursts of rain falling from saturated storm clouds
Drown out the distant rumbling of thunder and
Sporadic, erratic flashes of lightning, feeling doesn’t quite reach me.
But this absence of Light is the least of my worries,
Especially now, when I can’t find the strength
To try to put together the pieces of an unfamiliar puzzle.
I’ll ask it, over and over until I have an answer.
Who am I? Who am I? Who am I?

I’m an enigma, I am Darkness.
I don’t know what it is that makes me what I am,
And when asked, I never know what I want to say
To get the message through.
If I am Darkness, how can you still see me
And think you know exactly who “me” is?
Isn’t Darkness just an embodiment of human fear?
A nameless personification of the bitter uncertainty of an unknown world?
This girl – a nameless shadow
Because she can’t fathom the truth of her own identity –
Is Darkness: watching, waiting, listening, hating, adoring, caring, loving,
Wondering, wishing, growing, changing, smothering, dying…

I’m a “musician”, I’m an enigma, I am Darkness.
Music dictates my life, dominating every thought and every choice.
Everyone knows that I’m good at it,
But I’ve never asked for talent, and I’ve never wanted it.
I don’t know why, but they see me as a silent study of dedication,
So devoted to the music that there’s room for nothing else.
Who told them I was talented?
Who told them I was a musician?
Who told them I wanted this useless connection to such a useless talent?
Even when I say it, they don’t listen, so I’ve given up
On trying to make them see it the way that I do.

I’m a liar, I’m a “musician”, I’m an enigma, I am Darkness.
Shutting the world out of my life isn’t difficult
When the mask is in place, just as immovable as it is invisible.
I’m an actress, and I play the part that Life gave me…
No slips, no breaks, no mistakes. If that makes me a liar,
Then let me tell you the horrible, honest truth: I lie to all of you, and I’m good at it.
Overlook and ignore me, but I’ll still lie to you.
Hurt me, threaten and break me, but I’ll still lie to you.
Love me and I’ll love you too, but I’ll still lie to you.
And I’m still Darkness; I’ll stand on this empty stage for the rest of eternity,
Alone and chasing away the harsh glare of the spotlight.

I’m a lost cause, I’m a liar, I’m a “musician”, I’m an enigma, I am Darkness.
If I did my best to hurt you, to push you away
When I need you the most, would you try to understand me then?
You see me as some sort of fallen angel,
A lost puppy, beaten and whipped, that needs your love and attention.
But despite your best intentions, I’ll only end up hurting you.
I don’t need a savior; I don’t need your pity
Or your sad attempts at comfort…they won’t change who or what I am.
Nothing can change who or what I am.
And at the end of each and every horrible day,
When Light disappears over the tops of the mountains,
I’m unchanging. I’m still Darkness.

I’m a freak, I’m a lost cause, I’m a liar, I’m a “musician”, I’m an enigma, I am Darkness.
They hate me because I’m different.
I hate them because they’re just as different as I am,
But they’re better at hiding it.
Would I change myself to be like that? I’d just be
Another nameless face in a crowded room,
Where it isn’t who you are; rather, it’s what you wear, how you speak,
And who you choose to spend your time with.
It isn’t me, it isn’t who I want to be, but I wish for it anyway.
No one wants to spend a life in seclusion. No one wants this lonely hideaway,
Suspended above the rest of the world in silence.
In the same room, crowded with endless Light and laughter,
I’m still Darkness…and I hate it.