‘I’ve known girls like you,’
He said, tapping his cigarette discreetly
Against the rim of the cup.
The coffee, I noticed,
Had gone cold and tepid in the matter
Of a few short minutes.
I watched him smirk and my heart
Beat faster, faster, faster still…
‘You think you’re the only one,’ he murmured,
His eyes unhurriedly slanting away
And then following a beaten path
Back to my face,
Staring me down, trying to unnerve me
With a simple twist of his weary lips.
But his eyes gave it away,
They refused to keep his secrets,
Just as I’d told him once
That I refused to keep him in my heart.
And I tried to imagine the snow, as
He’d described it one winter: icy, cold and frigid…
Like me.
‘You’re a case,’ he muttered,
His voice so emotionless that for a moment, even I
Couldn’t read him. He turned
To lean against the rail of the deck
And shook his head, as if feeling sorry for me.
He wasn’t sorry, and we both knew it.
But it’s nice enough to let the other think so.
Just pretenses...all for
The sake of keeping up appearances.
‘I thought I’d die,’ he said
And his voice rose in sudden, unmistakable anger.
‘You can’t imagine my pain.’
I said nothing. It was better
To let him believe those useless lies
Than to bare my soul and show my weaknesses;
He would throw them back in my face.
And I was strong. I was strong.
But he sought my eyes and frowned,
And I knew why the warmth had fled from his gaze.
‘The more you dazzle,’ he whispered,
‘The more you hurt inside.’
He watched me expectantly, predatorily…
I smiled
And I turned away.