The formatting is being evil, please work with me!

From a Broken Pedestal

---

Once upon a time, I was an innocent child
Wishing for nothing greater than the sun on my face,
A grassy hill on which to play
Then, I met Him
Another child, an innocent beauty
He raised me on a pedestal
My world, once lovely, became the universe
Everything magnified to a brilliant shade of life

Rocky times tipped my almighty stance
And I fell, the ground rising to meet me with cruel resistance
What had always been, to me, a joyful place
Rose its jagged blade of fear
And struck at me
All that existed of love
Laughing at me as I gasped for breath
And floundered to find my way
And the stars were no longer bright and shining
But cold, cruel, with a glare that said
‘I am better than you’ll ever be’
And all that once made me smile,
Shine,
Became a mocking grin
And kicked at me from my place in the dust

The childhood of hope, of warm joy and simplicity
Abusive as the desert sun
Had disappeared in the shadows
The loving sunlight beating down on me, a force to be reckoned with
And my love, my pedestal
Became the sun
Not what once I’d known
But what was clear now
Warm and joyful, full of life
But lies, pure venom
Hot-tempered and depressive, full of spite

How could I forsake you, Dear Heart?
Never would I dream of leaving you
You are my existence
No! Not the blade!
I swear, other souls mean nothing!
Please, Heart, please!
I didn’t mean to-

Silence.

Heat fills the baffled air
What is the feeling?
Joy returning?
I sigh, for my world appears,
Once again, warm and innocent
A peaceful air of thoughtfulness

You cry, Love.
What’s wrong? My mind is in the past, safe again
Don’t worry, Love!
What’s this?
Your hands, Dear Heart...
Are you bleeding? Where comes the blood?
Let me call the ambulance, they’ll be here soon
I rise, stumble
Short of breath, no longer warm, uncomfortably hot
Hit the ground, hard
I cough, and blood spatters my hand
But how...?
Love?
What’s happening?

Tears blind you, my head held in your lap
A cushion more lovely than Heaven itself
Just a moment, you mutter,
And I’ll be with God, protecting the angels
But soon, you say, you will meet me
And as I stutter my last breath, a glimmer of steel catches my eye
A final, definite gesture
And darkness meets my soul.

---

Heather M. 4th December, 2004