“I want a monkey!”

“Of course, honey, we’ll go get it tomorrow.” That’s what my mum should have said. That’s the kind of response every sixteen year old girl wants to hear from their mother when they demand for a monkey. Unfortunately my life is a complete contradiction to perfection and everything that should happen doesn’t.

Here’s what my mother really said:

“Rebecca! Don’t open your mouth again unless you have something important to say!” And she yelled it too. God, talk about over reacting. I mean, I just asked for a monkey. It’s not like I asked for an entire zoo.

I could’ve continued to argue using such information as, ‘But mu-um, Jen got one!’ or ‘I’ll name him… uh… her after you!’ But you see I have more brains than to speak again on the same subject, in front of my mum. So I just sat on the couch listening to her bustling around in the kitchen, preparing dinner.

And then the phone rang.

Yay, I love getting phone calls; they make you feel so incredibly important. I jumped up from my seat on the leather couch and ran over to the phone, hoping desperately for it to be Jenna (my best friend) who would help me to convince mum that I needed a monkey.

Eagerly I pressed the on button and pressed the receiver up against my ear.

“Hello?”

“Good afternoon, am I talking to Rebecca Louis?” answered the croaky, old, disturbingly familiar voice.

“Uh, yes, that’s me.” Ooh, I knew this voice but couldn’t place it. It sounded creepy though.

“It’s Mrs. Hann.”

…

Oh my socks! THIS WAS MRS HANN?! Holy hell. Why was she ringing?! I’m at home. She’s a school relative. She should stay at the school. This is stalking! STALKING. What do I say now!? I can’t hang up; she’d fail me. Stupid teachers. Perhaps I should inform her of the unwritten law concerning home time, students, school and teachers.

“Hello, Mrs Hann.” I said monotonously hoping to god that she would just say it was an elaborate joke and that it was in fact Jenna playing some horrible trick on me.

“You were away yesterday,” yeah, duh, “so I thought I’d tell you that you have an assignment due on Monday. Jenna might give you the details.”

“Okay.”

“Are you having a good weekend?”

“Yep.” That’s it. Keep it simple.

“Good. Well. I’ll see you on Monday.”

“Yahuh. Bye!”

I need to wash out my ears now. And hope that by the time I’m done my mum will have reconsidered whether I should be allowed a pet monkey.