I'm drifting,

to close to breath;

I wrapped myself up in love and liaisons

and waited for the warmth to find me.

This field is empty-

once so cluttered with my youth

once so managed

once when there was truth.

I want to stand here

at the edge

and watch the fireworks

flying

neatly,

sweetly,

over my head.

I want to stare out

and wonder

"where are you?"

I want to run

into the crystal clear awareness

of time passing

and see you

staring me down from the other side.

I want arrows of love

to dismantle us where we stand

and linger across our single scarred forehead.

I've fallen

sinking into the earth after so much rain.

I can't count the tears that I've cried on a single hand

but I'll reach out

to watch you float ever higher above me.

Translucent eyes

narrow me

invisible to all but myself

because I alone remember you here.

I alone can crawl back across time

safe and sound

into your arms.

That night

I sang to the sky

low

and rumble

and wished that the night would catch me

lift me off

deeper

and deeper

into the moons frame of mind.

Everything is beautiful at night.

Lovely in shadow.

I wanted to show him how beautiful I could be;

how delicate my innocence truly was.

I want to fall

like a raindrop

between your lips

and smile at the stardust in your soul.

To late-

for I becoming your ellipsis

the after thought

a get-well-soon card

and a thirty second phone call.

Was I lost behind your lips now

silvery

and seductive-

I could have been so much more.

I felt the flame of anger

touch my hand

and I wanted your kiss on my cheek again.

I reached out

across this field

barren

and

untouched sense last we laid here

and for a moment I thought that I saw him

dreamy

and drugged

in my mind to stay simple

before the complication set in.

Coffee in my wine.

I thought for a moment that I saw him

but

still gone was he

behind my hand

and just I

alone with the land.