In a Gadda Da Vida

By Nix Nada

Great, thought Adam. I’m the first one here.

Adam threw himself down onto a couch and waited impatiently for the other guests to arrive. I hate being first to arrive at parties, he thought.

He gazed lazily around the den, where the Host had set up the main area of the party. Little bowls of nuts and snacks had been balanced on any available surface, a job made all the more difficult by the large number of cages and glass cases that littered the room, filled with all manner of rodents, fish and reptiles. The Host sure did like his pets.

Adam reached down to stroke one of the Host’s many cats, as its long, ginger tail curled carelessly around a bowl of chips, threatening to dislodge it.

Adam just managed to catch the bowl as the doorbell sounded, sending the cat scurrying behind the couch.

The next guest to arrive was a pretty young woman. Adam brightened. Perhaps this party wasn’t going to be so bad, he mused.

The woman walked into the den, looked around appreciatively at the effort that had obviously gone into organising the party, then began picking her way through the pets and the platters, until she joined Adam on the couch.

They sat silently for a few moments, Adam picking absently at the arm of the couch, while the woman inspected a bowl of peanuts. Adam cleared his throat and thought for the best way to break the awkward silence.

“Quite a party,” he said, with a small laugh.

The woman smiled back at him. “It’ll pick up, I’m sure,” she replied. “It’s still really early.”

“Guess so,” said Adam, reaching for a chip. Out in the hall, they could already hear other guests arriving. Well, thought Adam, if I want to get to know her, I’d better make it quick.

“I’m Adam,” he said.

“Aw, crap,” she replied.

Adam frowned, confused. “What?”

“Eve,” said Eve, resignedly.

“Shut up,” laughed Adam.

Eve laughed too and gave him a playful punch on the arm. “I will not shut up! My name’s Eve!”

“Well,” said Adam, rubbing his arm in mock pain, “it had to happen one day, I guess.”

By this time the party had been filling up, so the Host announced the start of the barbecue and Adam and Eve trooped out with the rest of the guests. Two patio doors led out into a small but incredibly well-tended back yard, almost every inch of which was filled with shrubs, trees and flowers. It was a beautiful summer’s evening, the sun still high enough to infuse the garden with a warm golden glow. Here and there, unseen birds were singing themselves to sleep.

The barbecue stood on a tiny patch of turf, next to a trestle table covered with food.

Adam gave a low whistle at all the food. “Wow,” he said. “He’s really gone to town! Look at all that meat!”

Eve looked slightly concerned, but then relaxed. “Oh good,” she said. “There’s a vegetarian option.” Standing on tiptoes for a better look, she raised her eyebrows in surprise. “Quite a selection, too. Looks like our Host has managed to get everything that ever grew in the ground on there!”

“So, a veggie, are you?” grinned Adam, with a hint of mockery.

“No,” replied Eve, ignoring Adam’s grin. “I just like to see a little balance, you know?”

With that, they took their place at the end of the queue of guests, received their little paper plates and began picking from the plates of cooked food. Eve took a vegetarian burger, sticking her tongue out at Adam as she did so. Adam hooked a piece of steak on his fork and stuck his tongue out back at her. They laughed, then both reached for the same piece of food.

“You have it,” said Adam, stepping back.

“Really?” said Eve.

“Yeah,” replied Adam. “It’s the last rib, enjoy it.”

Adam ate quickly, attacking the food on his plate with gusto.

“Slow down,” said Eve. “You’ll make yourself sick! What’s your hurry, anyway?”

“Wonn too ged bagg,” began Adam. Eve raised her eyebrows at him and Adam, shamefaced, swallowed what he’d been chewing and started again. “I want to get back to the nice comfy couch before anyone else nabs it,” he explained.

“Good point!” exclaimed Eve, stuffing the remainder of her veggie-burger into her mouth with a grin.

When they had finished, they hurried back inside.

“First to arrive, again!” said Adam, settling down happily on the couch.

The rest of the party soon began drifting back into the den. Before long, everybody had returned and was standing around chatting, while some were just hanging around on their own, munching away at the snacks, waiting for a friend. To escape the sudden throng of newcomers, the little ginger cat emerged from behind the couch and jumped onto Adam’s lap where it immediately curled up and began to purr contentedly.

“Looks like I’ve made a new friend,” said Adam.

“Two new friends,” Eve smiled, slipping her hand over his.

“Two new - ? Oh, I,” stuttered Adam, hoping he wasn’t blushing. He coughed. “Um, thanks.”

Eve laughed warmly and stood up. “I’m going to get us a drink. Keep my seat?”

“You bet!” replied Adam, and Eve began sorry-ing and excuse-me-ing her way in the direction of the kitchen.

She soon returned, carrying the biggest plastic bottle Adam had ever seen.

“What the hell is that?” he laughed.

“Cider!” replied Eve, sniffing the open top of the bottle before adding with a wink, “smells like the strong stuff! I found at the back of the Host’s fridge. I think he makes it himself.”

“I don’t know,” said Adam, as Eve sat back down beside him. “It looks like evil stuff. And from our Host’s private stash, too.”

“Don’t be such a baby!”

“And we’ve got no glasses, either!”

Eve curled up on the couch against Adam and took a swig from the bottle.

“We’ll just have to be naughty, then, won’t we?” she said.

The cat, as if sensing what was about to unfold, leapt from Adam’s lap and made a break for the garden.

- - -

“You – you know what?” slurred Adam, passing the half-empty bottle back to Eve. “Know what I think?”

“Wha-?” replied Eve, her lips already around the bottle neck.

“Our Host is a bloody good fella, tha’s what.”

“Buddy goo,” agreed Eve, nodding and almost spilling her mouthful of cider as she did so.

“No,” said Adam, “No, he is. Bloody good.”

“Yeah, I know,” said Eve, handing the bottle back.

Adam waved a hand around the room. “I mean, all – all this, this loveliness, just for us. He’s, he’s got the nuts and he’s got the nibbles…” He tailed off, giggling.

Eve grabbed the bottle from his flailing had and took another draught.

“Nibbles…” giggled Adam.

He looked up, trying to focus. “And all these lovely people, here, too, with us, here. They’re lovely too.”

He frowned and pouted slightly. “Except that one. He looks like a fish. Hello, Mr Fish!”

Eve burst out laughing and buried her face in Adam’s shoulder to smother it. “Shhhh… Fishy’ll hear us!”

“Look, look, Eve. Look – there by the door, look. It’s lizard-boy!”

Eve turned her head and choked with laughter.

“It is!” exclaimed Adam, “Look – he’s got the bulgy eyes and the thin lizard lips and, and, and – everything!”

Eve looked around, spotting a dark-haired woman with a hooked nose.

“Adam,” she said, nudging him urgently. “That – that lady’s a raven.”

Now it was Adam’s turned to collapse into helpless, drunken laughter.

“Adam,” repeated Eve, nudging him again. “You know what?”

“What?” snorted Adam, still sniggering.

“I think you’re a bloody good fella, too.”

Adam stopped laughing and looked at Eve. Then, leaning in slowly, and with only a slight drunken bump of noses, they kissed.

After kissing for a while, they sat, curled up together on the couch, Adam lazily stroking Eve’s hair.

“Do you – do you want to go somewhere?” asked Eve.

“Uh-huh,” was all the reply Adam could manage.

With some effort, they stood up from the couch and stumbled from the room.

- - -

They awoke a couple of hours later. Eve was the first to return to something resembling consciousness, groaning heavily as she realised she already felt the stirrings of an over-eager hangover.

She was lying, spooned up behind Adam, under a large pile of coats in one of the bedrooms. She groaned again as Adam stirred beside her.

“Aw, crap,” moaned Eve, peering under the coats. “We’re naked.”

Adam, still slightly asleep and rather drunk, rubbed a hand over his face and replied blearily, “who said?” before coming round a bit more and realising where they were. “Aw, crap,” he sighed.

Just then, the door opened and there stood the Host, silhouetted in the light from the hall. He did not look pleased.

- - -

Later, Adam and Eve trudged home through the cold, dark night.

“I don’t think he likes us,” said Adam.

Eve shivered. “At least he let us put some clothes on before he kicked us out.”

“Well,” said Adam, “we’re not going back there again.”