I'm sorry I'm not what you wanted;

a life full of happines and joy.

I'm sorry I brought you naught but misery

and with every step I was like a toy.

You were the child who broke me apart

bit after bit then cried when I couldn't be fixed.

You were the mother who pulled me away

and burned me away like the candles' wicks.

I'm sorry I wasn't how you wished I could be;

I tried to make you smile but I guess all I'm good at is making you frown.

I tried to hold my tears one day

and all you said was that I could drown.

I could drown in the tears you just made from my eyes.

I could bleed you a river for all your lies.

I could bend on my knees and wish you to die.

But as much as I hate you, that wish would, too, be a lie.

I don't know why I care

how you feel about me.

I don't know why I live

despite the tears that I've breathed.

My lungs no longer carry what should be air.

They carry now all my despair.

All my wishes of joy swallowed and spit,

all my hopes to be loved by the one which isn't meant.

So why do I try

even after 16 years I failed?

I guess I'm just holding on

to an invisble string that has no end.