The Ballad of a Lovelorn Teenager

No one else feels the way I do.

I deserve to wallow in my self-pity.

Make me the center of your life.

Give all your attention to me!

I hardly knew her a night,

And I know she was the only one for me!

Oh pity me! PITY ME!

Lavish your time!

Let me pull you into the shallow pits of my despair!

My life is over!

I’m so alone!

I need a girl to complete me!

So, now I’ll make you feel guilty…

Wanna be my girlfriend?

‘Cause you know, I’m desperate.”