Experimental Takeover

-

This is the log recorded by Chemistry student Elizabeth Milton; also in class are Elizabeth (ET) Talley, Naomi Stauffer, David Stauffer, Chrissy Schneider, and Jennifer Waldroff. It begins on February 23, 2004.

-Experiment 13.2 -- Household Substance Test

The purpose of this experiment is to discover the properties of Jello through three methods of trial and error: a temperature test, an acid/base test, and an electrical test.

The subject, a bowl of green Jello, was first put to the temperature test. It was placed over a burner and monitored for the time span of ten minutes. After the first minute passed, there appeared to be minimal changes in the exterior of the Jello; after five minutes, the changes continued, and at the end of ten minutes the Jello was completely burned.-

ET stared at the charred mass on the kitchen counter. “It looks like someone left a pile of dirt on the grill too long...”

“Anyone want Cajun-style Jello?” David cackled as Naomi warily poked the Jello with a bamboo skewer. “That looks gross...”

Elizabeth stopped writing in her lab report notebook and grinned. “If we weren’t experimenting with it, I’d see if it’s still edible.”

“I volunteer David as the taster!” Chrissy chirped. She, Elizabeth, and ET laughed at the expression that quickly crossed the boy's face.

“That ain’t cool,” he moaned. “It’d probably give me killer indigestion.”

Jennifer snorted out a laugh. “More like it’d kill you when you tried to digest it.”

Naomi ceased poking the Jello (or remains thereof), threw away her skewer, and glanced over her Chemistry book. “It’s not like he eats things that haven’t tried to eat him first, anyway... C’mon, let’s get back to work.”

“If we must,” Elizabeth sighed, turning back to her lab notebook.

-After the temperature test was completed, the subject was put through the acid/base test. It was tested as to whether the substance was acidic or base-based -

The pencil stopped scratching away at the lined paper as Elizabeth looked up again. “Do you think Ms. Amy would count off if I wrote that this was either acidic or ‘base-based’?”

“She might... you never know,” Naomi replied, keeping her eyes on her task: trying to keep a part of the charred Jello on the test strip. Elizabeth shrugged, erased a little, and started writing again.

-...as to whether the substance is an acid or base compound. The proper procedures were completed, including the mixing of multiple chemicals in an attempt to create a more liquid substance to work with.

The results: still unknown. The Jello continually slipped off of the test strips, and not enough remained on aforementioned strips to finish the test.-

“I think I’ve been forever dissuaded from eating Jello again,” Jennifer muttered. “What did we put in this, anyway?”

“Oh, hydrogen peroxide and Drain-O,” David replied loftily.

Elizabeth made a face. “In other words, try not to touch it unless you enjoy having your fingerprints burned off of your skin. Why did we put Drain-O in there?” She tipped back the bill of her baseball cap to effectively glare at her friend.

David grinned. “Search me; it was sitting on the table, so I thought we were supposed to use it!”

“I just hope we don’t accidentally discover intelligent life by adding all this stuff to it.” Chrissy sighed. “That might be bad.”

ET laughed aloud. “If we stare at it and it stares back, we know we’re in trouble.”

“You’ve obviously never seen the inside of my family’s fridge,” Elizabeth muttered, turning a page in her notebook before she continued writing.

-The subject shows odd signs now; instead of the gelatinous substance it once was, it is now at a strange level of matter all its own, somewhere between gelatin and liquid. These observations have been taken into account before proceeding with the electricity test.-

Elizabeth sighed and sat down at the kitchen table. “Someone wake me when it’s time for the electricity test,” she muttered, putting her head in her arms.

“Okay, but it’ll be in just a few minutes, so don’t doze off too far,” ET warned.

Ignoring her warning, Elizabeth drifted into a peaceful nap. But no sooner had she fallen asleep, it seemed, that someone was shaking her shoulder. “We’re ready, O Faithful Scribe,” Naomi said cheerfully.

“Alright, alright,” she grunted as she stood and rubbed her eyes.

-For the electricity test, the subject was put into a metal, electric-conducting bowl, hooked to a car battery by jumper cables, and jump-started :) in the loosest sense of the term. The Jello proceeded to smoke following the test, and instead of maintaining its charcoal-like appearance, its color changed to that of bright red. It also has a more luminescent quality than before.-

“I don’t think that’s normal,” David said in awe, staring at the Jello at eye level. “Isn’t it supposed to stay looking like a flame-broiled pile of dirt?”

Jennifer crossed her arms in thought. “Since we’ve never done this before, I don’t think we know what the ‘right’ reaction is...”

“Oh, yeah, maybe red and glowing is how it’s supposed to be?” Elizabeth asked sarcastically. She put down her pencil and peered warily at the Jello. "If it bites my nose, I'm going to scream loud enough to clean glass."

ET examined the text in her Chemistry book. “I think the Drain-O was a little much,” she admitted. “I mean, it just says to add certain chemicals... and that isn’t one of them.” She glared at David, who meekly grinned back.

“Oh, great! If it explodes all over the kitchen, Mom’s going to kill me,” Chrissy groaned. “She left me in charge while she went to the grocery... this could be bad!”

Naomi grinned. “What, that she left you in charge, or that she might come back to a kitchen covered in Jello?”

“Funny.”

They all fell silent and stared in wonder at the red pile on the counter. Elizabeth wanted to ignore the feeling of dread that had fallen over her, but as hard as she tried, she couldn’t shake it. Something just wasn’t right about this...

Two golden eyes emerged from the blob, swiveled around to survey the room, and blinked at the bewildered students. Everyone screamed and jumped back several feet; David, being heavily nominated as the bravest among them, moved away along the counter and felt behind him for a sharp object.

“Did it just--” ET began, but silenced with a squeak of fear as the Jello looked at her.

David grasped a knife and slowly approached it from behind, the blade raised in the air. He came down on it in a single stroke, cutting it neatly in two between its eyes. The flicker of life died within the depths of its pupils. "That so did not just happen," he rasped. Jello dripped from the knife like gelatinous blood.

“It can't do that!” Jennifer exclaimed. “It’s not capable of sustaining life!”

“Convince me that it wasn’t alive and I’ll burn my hat.” Elizabeth cautiously reached over to pick up her notebook.

-The subject seems to have attained life, including thinking and behavioral patterns. It was sliced into submission for further analysis, but this still begs the question: can the Jello really be alive, or has there been a shared hallucination based on excessive intake of Drain-O fumes?

Also, if it is alive, is it able to communicate with us?-

To the students’ surprise, the two mounds of Jello sprouted eyes respectively and glared at them. “It’s not a good sign when your food glares at you,” Naomi said, backing away in intimidation.

Two grins appeared on the front of the Jello; the grins not only had teeth, they also had fangs. David carefully felt for a spoon and extended it towards the creatures, who merely stared at the silverware in his hand. Then, in a liquid motion, the mass on the left lashed out and fixed its teeth onto the end. Everyone screamed (again) and moved back as David hastily let go of the spoon.

The Jello munched on the spoon thoughtfully, its eyes to the ceiling as if it were evaluating the taste, and consumed the rest in a huge gulp. For a moment, there was only silence from the students; then the Jello belched loudly.

“Dude,” ET marveled. “Not bad.” Elizabeth looked carefully at the expression on its face. It almost looked... embarrassed? This is weird, she thought, feeling her forehead. I think I inhaled one Drain-O fume too many...

The Jello grinned menacingly at them, and both said in unison, “Oooga Booga!”

The students exchanged frightened glances and simultaneously fled, screaming, “RABID JELLO!”

-

Huddled in the security of the hall bathroom, the teenagers didn’t speak until they had barred the door with piece of removable shelving they could find, and shoved every book or magazine between the door and the floor. David was sitting with his back to the pile, Elizabeth was on the edge of the sink, Chrissy and Naomi were on the floor, Jennifer was on the edge of the bathtub, and ET was on the toilet lid.

“So, now what do we do?” Elizabeth asked wearily.

David grunted. “I’m not going back out there,” he declared. “Not after that thing made short work of that spoon.”

“I don’t blame you,” Jennifer agreed, shifting nervously.

ET tried to grin. “I guess we should only be worried about whether it could eat us or not, right?” Everyone leveled a glare at her. “...What?”

“Last time you made a joke, it came true,” Chrissy said levelly. “Remember? ‘If we stare at it and it stares back, we know we’re in trouble’?”

“That’s right,” Elizabeth agreed quietly. “And you just said we should worry about it eating us...”

Naomi frowned. “If that one comes true, too, I’m going to strangle you with your own limbs,” she warned, pointing her index finger at ET.

“If Fluffy out there doesn’t eat ‘em whole, first,” David added.

Jennifer stared at him. “...you’re calling it Fluffy?” She asked slowly.

“I was just kidding!” He protested.

Elizabeth quietly opened her lab notebook and started writing. Maybe getting everything out on paper will help me to think, she thought sullenly, listening as the scratching of the pencil and the conversation in the room became dull in her ears.

-The experiment has gotten out of hand now. It is two separate creatures; the first seemed to form multiples when it is split into two or more pieces. One, when prodded with a spoon, consumed the utensil as though it was eating a carrot. We have barricaded ourselves in the bathroom for safety; we fear that it might learn how to consume human flesh soon, thanks to ET’s albeit humorous suggestion.

Will it survive on its own? If it does, will we be able to find its weakness and use that against it, or… them? Will WE survive...?-

Elizabeth jolted out of her subconscious when Naomi said, “I’m just worried about when one of us has to go to the bathroom...”

“Let’s try not to think about that.” ET shuddered and scratched the back of her neck anxiously.

“I don’t see why you’re complaining!” David frowned. “You’re ON the toilet!”

“Yeah, but I’m not using it!”

“Not yet, but how--”

“David Stauffer, I’m sitting on the LID!” She exclaimed, a look of horror and disgust on her face. “You would know if I was--”

“CHANGE OF SUBJECT!” Elizabeth bellowed. Everyone fell silent and listened intently for any signs that the creatures outside had heard and/or reacted to the sudden shout; when they heard nothing, they all breathed a sigh of relief. “Sorry,” she whispered guiltily.

-Tension is already building between us. How long will we be trapped in here? We’ll probably be the end of each other if the monsters outside don’t get to us.-

"This is ridiculous!" Jennifer groaned. "I can't believe we're hiding in a bathroom when this thing probably isn't alive anyway!"

"It ate a spoon, dear," Elizabeth snapped back. She tried to suppress the panic in her mind; the panic that comes from being cooped up in a small, crowded room. "It looked at us, it spoke, and it ate that ever-loving spoon. I'm not going to be the one that goes back out there." Then again, she'd never had much patience with Jennifer in the first place.

The older girl shrugged arrogantly. "You don't have to. I will."

There was a very uncomfortable, suffocating moment of silence. "...you can't be serious," ET said slowly, shifting her head slightly to look at Jennifer.

"I always am," she replied.

Chrissy groaned. "They always are."

"They?"

"The 'they' that's always the first to go..." Naomi swallowed nervously. "It's always the person who isn't afraid of whatever's after them, or the person who allows himself to be left behind..."

Jennifer scoffed and started for the door. "That's ridiculous. And I'm going to show you just how stupid you're all acting..."

Before anyone could reach her (who wanted to. Elizabeth was quite content to let her go), she had moved everything that had been blocking the door and was gone. Elizabeth swiftly shut the door behind the fleeting girl, scowling, and pressed her ear against the door. "If she wants to see how carnivorous it is, be my guest," she growled. "But no one, and I mean NO ONE is going to play hero and save her, hear me?"

Everyone else in the room backed away from her a bit. "Elizabeth, you're scaring me," ET murmured. "What's gotten into you?"

What’s wrong with me? She snapped at herself. I'm willing to get Jen killed just because I can't stand her... and she gets on my nerves... and she didn't really like me anyway... Ha. Rationalizing doesn't make it right, though. The younger girl sighed, broken in her shame. "I'm sorry," she whimpered. "It's just that... well, this kind of stuff always happens to other people, y'know? I'm scared; scared of what will happen to us." When no one gave her a word of encouragement, she sighed. “And I’m mildly claustrophobic.”

A scream erupted from the kitchen or living room, followed by a resounding, sickening squelch. "...it got her," Naomi said in a wavering voice. "It really got her..."

"One heck of a way to die," David agreed solemnly. "...eaten by Fluffy the Rabid Jello."

-

-We already have had one fatality; Jennifer tried to brave the dangers of the outside and was defeated, not only by her pride, but by whatever lurks on the other side of the bathroom door. We don't know its (or their; it's uncertain whether or not the Jello has continued to multiply) position, nor how long it plans on keeping us barricaded in the bathroom. It could break through at any time. How can we be helped if no one comes?-

"Sitting in here is getting us nowhere," David declared.

Naomi snorted out a laugh. "A profound statement, brother," she muttered sourly. "And what do you plan on doing, anyway? Running out there with swords and guns blazing, fighting our way through a gelatin army into freedom?"

"It was an idea..."

Chrissy leveled a patient look at him. "Where do you plan on getting the swords and guns?"

"I..." He thought for a moment, then frowned. "Okay, we could throw books and the toilet seat at it. But it'd be more than sitting helplessly in a bathroom fort, waiting for nothing good to happen!"

"I happen to like the bathroom fort," Elizabeth commented lightly from her laid-back position in the bathtub. She counted herself fortunate that no one had thought of turning the water on while she was still laying there, fully clothed. "It's safe, albeit a little roomier now--"

"Elizabeth!" ET and Chrissy scolded. Naomi was laughing.

"Just stating the obvious." Elizabeth crossed her ankles and shrugged. "Jennifer was stupid enough to go out there, and we saw-- er, heard what happened to her."

ET sighed. "But that's no reason to be bitter. Ever heard of respect for the dead?"

"Many times, yes. But I've recently chosen to forget about it until we get out of here."

David rolled his eyes. "IF we get out of here. And sitting isn't getting -- it's just sitting. The getting comes when we go out there and make a break for the front door."

"Brilliant idea." Chrissy took off her glasses and checked their cleanliness by the light. "They've probably got the front door blocked by a small army..." After a moment of silence, however, she grinned triumphantly. "But what about the back door?"

Naomi clapped her hand to her forehead. "That's right, there's a good chance they didn't know about it! After all," she added, "we forgot about it, and it's Chrissy's house." She turned to David, who stared blankly in return. "O Strong Capable Man, you get your chance to be the hero."

"If I make a break for the back door," he said slowly. "Where do I go to get help?"

Elizabeth threw her hands in the air, exasperated. "The police, the FBI -- someone with a lot of guns or access to unstable chemicals. You could even try the poison control center, Mr. Happy-Go-Drain-O!"

"Don't start," ET moaned.

The younger girl frowned and shifted positions in the tub. "Like you're a load of help yourself. Why don't you go with him if you're so ready to get out of here?"

"I will, then!"

Slowly, David moved the piles from in front of the door and lay on the floor to peer outside. "Looks clear to me. One-shot run to the back door, okay?" ET nodded, and on a silent count of three, they threw open the door and dashed out into the hallway. Chrissy closed the door behind them and began replacing the books and shelves that had previously blocked them in.

Naomi raised an eyebrow at this. "...we're not going to see if they come running back, then?"

"Guess not." Elizabeth tipped the bill of her hat back and stretched as she sat up. "All we can do is wait for help to come slashing its way through the Jello Army."

ET's voice screamed and abruptly fell silent. David cried out to her before he, too, screamed. The squelch echoed through the hall and into the bathroom, and all was deathly quiet once again.

"We have to go help them!" Naomi cried, flying to the door. Before either of her friends could stop her, she had kicked the barricade out of the way and run out, leaving the door wide open. Chrissy ran after her, and Elizabeth scrambled out of the tub to stand in the doorway. The two girls had disappeared onto the back porch, where their sudden screams were cut off by the deadly sounds of Jello.

In her panic, Elizabeth slammed the door and braced against it with her back. When enough time had passed for her adrenaline levels to fall back down, she realized that tears were streaming down her face. There was no one else. She was going to die a horrid, sickening death by herself...

She could hear the sound of distant drumbeats from somewhere in the house. Shakily, she reached over to her notebook and started writing.

-This will be my last entry.

The house has been taken; the others have fallen at the hands (so to speak) of the enemy, and I am all who remain. Were I to leave, there would be little chance of my survival against whatever lies outside. The bathroom door is all that stands between my imminent death.

Drums... drums in the hall....

They are coming...-

To her horror, she saw that she had forgotten to replace the barrier. There was a horrid, cackling laugh from the other side of the door; she could hear the drumbeats getting louder and louder, until they rang in her ears and echoed through the bathroom. Thousands of little voices were chanting, "Oooga Booga...! Oooga Booga...!" as they drew closer to the door.

A crash shook the wooden doorframe. They had tried smashing it in with a chair. Elizabeth screamed and covered her head, trembling on the floor. Red Jello seeped under the door and all around her, coating her shoes like blood. She tried to get to her feet to flee, but her shoes were being held fast as though adhered to the floor. It was crawling up her ankle, up her pants leg, and soon.....

Elizabeth screamed and awoke with a start, falling out of her chair and onto the hardwood kitchen floor. Her friends stared at her in horror and waited for her to sit up before approaching her.

"You okay?" Chrissy asked warily.

"I..." Elizabeth glanced wildly around the kitchen. The room was in as much order as they had left it, with the exception of the scientific mess all over the counters... and everyone was still alive! ET, Chrissy, Naomi, and David were kneeling around her; Jennifer was too engrossed in taking observation notes at the moment. "...I just had the worst dream," she moaned, putting her head in her hands. "Rabid Jello took over the house and trapped us all in the bathroom, and every time someone left, it killed them... and I was the last one left, but it started coming in after me, and--"

Naomi laughed. "Girl, you have the strangest dreams. The only Jello in the house was trashed... we did the experiment all wrong, so we decided to start over. You were sleeping like a rock when we tried to wake you, so we left you there."

"We're almost done," ET added. "You can get notes from my notebook, if you'd like."

Elizabeth nodded slowly and stood with everyone, warily looking into the trash can. Sure enough, charred green Jello covered a portion of the garbage. Nothing sinister about it... just black-and-green Jello. "Fluffy the Rabid Jello," she muttered to herself. "I'm never falling asleep in class again...."

END