One day, a girl named Kelsey went to a party. While most of her friends were already drunk, she was still sober.

Kelsey wondered through the living room and spotted someone standing by the doorframe. He had bleached blonde hair and was talking to someone. Kelsey, curious to see who the guy was talking to, walked over to him.

“Hey.” She greeted, smiling. The boy smiled and pointed to the kitchen. Kelsey looked where he was pointing. She only saw the kitchen counter. “What is it?” she asked the blonde guy. He shrugged, still with a stupid smile on his face. “Who’s in there?” Kelsey asked, feeling this was just a joke. The guy shrugged again.

“My friend,” he answered, “but he doesn’t say anything when I suck him, so I left him alone... in the kitchen!” He then cackled and ran out of the room.

Kelsey shook her head, trying to get the mental vision she had in her mind out.

She then decided she’d go see the guy that the blonde guy was talking about.

--

She walked into the room and saw him. He was by the buffet table. The blonde guy was right, she did feel an urge to suck him. Just for fun, of course. She didn’t want it to be long term. Only for a little while. A long-term relationship, especially this way, might ruin her reputation.

She walked over to him.

“Whatcha doing?” she asked casually. He didn’t say anything.

“He doesn’t say much.”

Kelsey turned around and saw a redheaded girl.

“Who the hell are you?” she asked.

“I’m Jenn. Who the hell are you?”

Kelsey frowned at the girl’s apparent attitude.

“What’s his name?” she asked, motioning to him.

“His name is Chuck.” Jenn replied. “Why?”

Kelsey shrugged. “Where’d you find Chuck?”

“Oh, I was at Wendy’s the other day and he was just there. Just waiting to be taken and sucked. So I took him.” Jenn replied. Kelsey just nodded,

“Can I have him?” she asked. Jenn looked hesitant and glanced around the room. “Sure, but after the party. Many people here still want to suck him.” Kelsey nodded again and walked over to Chuck.

“Hi…” Chuck didn’t say anything. “Hello?” she waved her hand in front of him, he moving away. “Oh, I’m sorry…” Kelsey apologized again and backed off a bit. Jenn saw what was going on and walked over.

“Sorry… Chuck… well, he’s…shy,” she told Kelsey.

Kelsey nodded, yet again.

--

After the party had finished, everyone left. Kelsey went and looked for Jenn so she could get permission to take Chuck home.

“Jenn? Jenn? Where the fuck are you?!” She started running, looking for her when an idea struck her. She’d just convince Chuck to leave with her and then she’d suck Chuck and show all her friends. She went into the kitchen and found Chuck, still in the same place. “Let’s go, Chuck!” Grabbing him, Kelsey ran off with Chuck.

--

“Hey girl friends!” Kelsey greeted as she dragged Chuck with her.

“Hey Kelsey…” Ashleigh, her best friend said, suspiciously eying Chuck.

“Meet Chuck! He likes to get sucked!” Seeing her friends’ surprised expressions, she continued, “He’s my new friend! See, I’m gonna suck him right now!” she said as she did so.

“Um.. Kelsey…”

Kelsey finished and looked up. “Yeah? What’s up?” Ashleigh looked over at her friends, then back at Kelsey and Chuck.

“Your friend… well, your friend is-“

“I DON’T CARE WHAT YOU THINK OF MY FRIEND CAUSE HE’S MY FRIEND AND HE LIKES TO BE SUCKED, SO SHUT THE FUCK UP, YOU BIASED JUDGEMENTAL PEOPLE WHO I THOUGHT WERE MY FRIENDS!!” Kelsey yelled.

Suddenly, a little kid grabbed Chuck and threw him onto the street, where a bus promptly hit him.

“NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” Kelsey screamed, running around like a decapitated chicken. “CHUCK’S DEAD! HE’S GONE!!!”

Ashleigh turned to her friends.

“She did know Chuck was a balloon, didn’t she?”

owari