road rage of the teddy bear
by technically okay

everything's different during the night time
. Dora the Explorer got lost in the woods
Mr. Roger's Neighborhood has been burnt down
. Sesame Street's been overtaken by gangs
Bratz dolls are walking the streets of Vice City

Yeah, now our eight-year-old girls aspire to be jailbait

Soft plush has been thrown aside for hard plastic

It's all leading up to the road rage of the teddy bear

He's been locked up in the closet for too long
. the claustraphobia's getting to him
he's gotten out and he has the paintball gun
. (he's learned his techniques from Counter-Strike)
he's going to do a drive-by from Candyland to Legoland

It's all the road rage of the teddy bear
. he's been cut off one too many times
. . he's got his play-knife and he'll be Ted-the-Ripper
. he stops at the local Build-a-Bear workshop
. . and contemplates the teddy churning the stuffing
. . . it's like churning a tub of guts
. . . . and flesh, heart, bones, blood
. . . it's appetizing to him

He rounds up a bunch of jailbait dolls
. pops off their arms and legs and heads
. . and mashes them in a play-kitchen blender

And now the road rage of the teddy bear has passed
. as he stares at the carnage with his button-black eyes
. . he rips open the seams of his mouth
. . . and laughs
. . . . and laughs
. . . . . and laughs.

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P/N: Dora the Explorer, Mr. Roger's Neighboorhod, Sesame Street, Bratz, Candyland, Legoland, Build-a-Bear Workshop, etc. are all copyrighted to their respectful owners, blah blah blah . . .