You could have asked me how I was. You knew I was upset. But all you were concerned about was our fighting destroying your precious fort. Then you told me I was acting completely immature.

The past few days have made me realise something: there is only one person I can fully trust and rely on - myself.

Over the past four and a half years, we have been best friends. Or so I thought.

I had tried, as a best friend should, to help you wherever I could. Now, I needed you to help me. To give me a sympathetic ear where I had none. To give me support and encouragement, and advice. Clearly, that was too much to ask of you.

How you spoke to me yesterday - your tone, your look, your stance - seemed to me that you clearly thought I was inferior. You're the leader of your group, and we're all puppies trailing in your wake. Your word goes, and woe betide someone who does anything to offend you. You make everyone fear your wrath.

But I'm not walking on eggshells around you anymore. I can't stop saying what I want to say because it annoys you. I can't stop doing a certain thing because you don't like it. This is me, this is what I do, and no one can stop me from doing it.

I think maybe the people telling you you were perfect all these years have finally got to you. I can't not remember that you're much more mature than me, much more smarter, much more talented, and just a better person than me altogether.

People compare us at every opportunity. But guess what - I am not you. Nor am I like you. Nor do I want to be you. Believe it or not, I am quite happy being the person I am. Sure, the body needs a little work but I like myself. And I can't suppress my thoughts and opinions just because you don't like them. You're going to come across a lot of things you won't like and that you can't change. Sure, I may do something you won't like, but I'm sure as hell not going to change myself for you. I don't want to fear your wrath. I don't want to live by your word, and if you don't like it, you know where to go.

So, I am going to ask who you are in the morning, and not care about the consequences. Because, best friends should be concerned about each other, right, and not put their own interests first.

At least, that's how I thought it went.

Call this little rant selfish, call it anything you like. But after all I've tried to do in the past four and a half years, I'm entitled to be selfish. Because you can't stop a person doing what they want, and being what they are. You just have to love them unconditionally and accept them for who they are, warts and all, not try to make them something they're not.