|A Field of Forgotten Dreams
Author: wantedINheaven PM
They can even find her in her field of dreams, where she thought she would be safe. They trampled her under their careless motions, and left her there to ponder.Rated: Fiction K - English - Angst/Tragedy - Words: 373 - Reviews: 4 - Published: 01-30-05 - id: 1820790
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The field is where she goes to lie
She dreams that she is dead
Wishes that her heart would still
Its harmful beating killing her all
She longs for what had once been
The arms wrapped around her body –
Now only a figment of imagination
Caressing her overburdened mind
Until it screams with the pain and terror
And denies itself the pleasure
She thought one thing back then
But then realized another
It wasn't that she wanted to fit in
No, she wanted to show her colours –
Show those colours that were hers alone
She didn't want to be known as fake
Yet when she was herself, others told her
They told her she was trying too hard.
What is left in this world for her?
She knows there is much
Though she cannot settle her mind
On what is really there
Lying in her field, she ponders
Her mind is at ease as she dreams
Of forgotten things; those that are real
Those that make her smile purposefully for once
It's been too long since the last
For now she has a plan
She thinks she knows who she is
Truly, in her heart, she cannot lie
Perhaps she wasn't one way -
But she's allowed to be wrong, right?
Maybe now she can please their whims
With what she knows of herself
Perhaps they could forgive her
For being who she really was
Perhaps they can forgive her
For being afraid for herself and not others
For once in her forgotten life
Perhaps the one who cared for others
Wrapped in her field of hopes
Will be cared for now?
But perhaps not –
They've broken her hopes and cracked her dreams
They certainly can do it again
But for now she'll make her field tidy
As the others glare at her in anger
Thinking she is just aloof
Can't a girl want to be herself?
Is it not safe anymore?
She was her, she was herself; she was murdered
Her broken body laid finally at peace in her trampled field
I'm me, I'm myself; should I be scared
Of the things that they can do to me with a few simple motions?