The field is where she goes to lie

She dreams that she is dead

Wishes that her heart would still

Its harmful beating killing her all

She longs for what had once been

The arms wrapped around her body –

Now only a figment of imagination

Caressing her overburdened mind

Until it screams with the pain and terror

And denies itself the pleasure

She thought one thing back then

But then realized another

It wasn't that she wanted to fit in

No, she wanted to show her colours –

Show those colours that were hers alone

She didn't want to be known as fake

Yet when she was herself, others told her

They told her she was trying too hard.

What is left in this world for her?

She knows there is much

Though she cannot settle her mind

On what is really there

Lying in her field, she ponders

Her mind is at ease as she dreams

Of forgotten things; those that are real

Those that make her smile purposefully for once

It's been too long since the last

For now she has a plan

She thinks she knows who she is

Truly, in her heart, she cannot lie

Perhaps she wasn't one way -

But she's allowed to be wrong, right?

Maybe now she can please their whims

With what she knows of herself

Perhaps they could forgive her

For being who she really was

Perhaps they can forgive her

For being afraid for herself and not others

For once in her forgotten life

Perhaps the one who cared for others

Wrapped in her field of hopes

Will be cared for now?

But perhaps not –

They've broken her hopes and cracked her dreams

They certainly can do it again

But for now she'll make her field tidy

As the others glare at her in anger

Thinking she is just aloof

Can't a girl want to be herself?

Is it not safe anymore?

She was her, she was herself; she was murdered

Her broken body laid finally at peace in her trampled field

I'm me, I'm myself; should I be scared

Of the things that they can do to me with a few simple motions?