Chapter Twenty Two – The Endgame Complex Part I

Silence.

“Leave me with this one,” I said cold heartedly.

The figure before me was unconscious. But he was slowly gaining consciousness…

“Are you sure?” Natsumi said standing next to me.

“Yes, this is the end of it. He’s the last one. I started this. Everything went according to plan up until now, and so I’m ending this.”

Natsumi looked at me with a smirk, I saw through that façade though… the Pandoras were here, she couldn’t look weak in front of them, even if she cared for me.

“I mean it, Natsumi… I’ll finish this.”

She didn’t respond.

I reached for the handgun around my waist, cocked it and waited for the man to regain consciousness.

“Tell me just one thing before I leave then,” Natsumi whispered to me still smirking as she waved asking for the small group around to us to leave the empty warehouse in the Tokyo docks.

“What is that…”

The Pandoras obeyed their master and quietly left the building.

“Do you really love this man?”

It was a like a punch to my face.

“What are you talking about?” I answered quickly.

“My, my… you’ve changed haven’t you?”

I looked at her.

“What happened over the last six months… you’re not the person you once were…”

“Nothing’s changed. I did what I volunteered to do…”

“Did you?”

“Natsumi, you’ve known me for a long time, you’ve been by my side for since the beginning – don’t spout your nonsense and be straight with me.”

Natsumi’s smirk disappeared.

“Don’t fall in love again.”

I wanted say that I wasn’t in love to begin with… but… but… that would’ve been a lie.

“Women like us… don’t have enough room in our hearts for things like love…”

I looked downed. She was right.

“Not in this life time… not in this world…”

I looked at Natsumi… the older sister I never had… the… one person in the world I would die for… since the time I was sixteen she… had taken care of me.

“I’m sorry…” Natsumi said… almost as if she meant it… as if… she felt at fault for showing me this world.

The man slowly gained consciousness… grunting a little.

I felt his breath… it was bittersweet… I remembered its taste against my lips… it’s airy touch against my neck, nibbling my ears, and caressing my fingertips.

I clenched my gun harder.

Natsumi turned around.

I continued to look at the floor.

Her footsteps echoed as she walked away.

“I’ll be waiting outside.”

I closed my eyes.

What a mess.

“Tomoko… is that you?”

What a horrible mess.

Sure, everything went well… sure when this was all over… I would be a legend…

My name would forever be remembered by the Council.

Sure… everything in the end was justified – however ironic that sounded.

But this… this itself was a mess.

I held the gun tightly.

Where I stood… at this moment… in this very tick of time…

This was a mess.

“Tomoko… is it you, thank god you’re okay.”

I held my gun up and pointed it to his head.

Pause.

I didn’t look.

Pause…

Pause…

Silence… This is where you hit the rewind button…

“My name isn’t Tomoko…” I said coldly. As coldly as I could… with all the hate I had left in my heart.

It was almost empty. This fuel of hatred… how my childish dreams of power… consumed it…

He looked at me, eyes filled with sadness, regret… and a hint of anger.

“You lied to me this whole time… you… everything… was… everything you said… a lie?”

Something stung at my heart… but I stopped myself.

“Tomoko…”

My veins went cold. I withheld my tears. No… don’t do it… don’t let the images come back… don’t… think about it. Not the memories… not this… don’t think. Just pull the trigger. Your home is here. With Natsumi… with the Ruzai…

I gripped my handgun harder. The hard metal was freezing against my palm. I felt my pulse race. Why was I feeling this way? I’ve never felt this way before. How many people have I killed? How many lives have I taken? For how long have I lived in the depths of the underworld… soaked in blood?

“This isn’t you…” My gaze pierced his.

I saw myself through him. A young girl… who had lost her parents… who had been thrown into the underworld… a girl who had embraced the world of evil…

“This isn’t… the Tomoko I know… this isn’t… the person I -”

Pause.

Click.

The sound of the gunshot echoed. The smoke seeped through the barrel of my gun. There are only a handful of times does a sound of gun truly echo through your soul. It’s a sign that you lost a piece of yourself… that you’ve become weaker… or… stronger… but less of your former self.

I pulled the trigger. I couldn’t hear anymore. I didn’t want to hear anymore. I was a coward… but maybe that’s all relative.

Pause…

This was the only life I knew.

This was my purpose.

To be remembered…

Not for the good of the world… but for the infamy of all that was evil.

I am here not to dance with the devil… not to partake in a grander cosmic truth – to unravel some hidden taboo that only crime could do to a society.

No… I am here because this is all that I had left. There was nothing left to regret… nothing… change. I had thrown it all away.

“My name is not Tomoko…” I whispered looked at his corpse. The hole in his head… his body strapped to a wooden chair.

“I never loved you…” I paused, “I’m not the one you feel in love with…”

Pause.

That girl was long died… I didn’t say that out loud.

“My name is Izumi…”

Pause.

Rewind.