I want to go back

I try not to show it

And I am sure very few no it

But I am broken

I find myself unable to overcome

This depression that I can’t help but Sercombe

My life at the moment is bleak

And what I lost is what I now seek

Comfort is the thing I struggle to find

Just to give myself a peace of mind

I find myself constantly looking back

Thus the hurt just doesn’t retract

I question my motive on the decision I made

That motive was I thought I would be saved

Saved from hurt and neglect

Saved from everything I now want to forget

I have lost a lot since that eventful day

And now I want it back that’s what I pray

My heart was taken and jealousy given

For I can’t help but to have this feeling

I look at my investment and my crucial loss

But I guess bad karma has made me pay the cost

I gave my time I gave my money

In hope the future would be sunny

Now it’s all gone and I don’t think it will come back

So everyday I have to put on an act

Why is it I hurt I thought I would rise above

Because maybe what I lost was truly love

Being it’s gone

I know I have to move on

But where do I go

When another option is not clearly shown

Ever since I find myself going back to bad things

Which meant unwanted relationships rekindling

I am back in the world of women, drugs and alcohol

And I want is to get the f out and go back, that’s all

I can’t help but cry when no ones around

But every morning I have to turn my frown upside down

Every word on the T.V and every song on the radio

Makes me think of the things that I should have said to you

I flood my mind with many different things

Just to forget the unhappiness this feeling brings

Musicals, tennis, friends, and basketball

Is what I have turned to forget my downfall

But it doesn’t work

One look back and depression lurks

It hasn’t been that long

But the hurt seems just as strong

I want to go back, but how?

To the to the beginning when things were easier than now

When I was happy just to hold on tight

Before certain words started certain fights.

I am apparently cheezy

Isn’t that better than sleazy?

But my transition to worsened things

Comes with the loss and all it brings

I look back at some pictures, certain moments in time

When everything would flow easy as if a rhyme

I can’t stay in that presence

Because I want it back to bad, that essence

Where am I to go?

This I do not know

I am lost and confused

And my heart bruised

Maybe something better will come along

Maybe the thought of her will be gone

But what I really want is back at the beginning

When we both met with a smile and while singing