-Thirty Nine-

Mara didn't say anything much at all after that. The three of us were all a bit worried, but none of us talked about it. Tai and Mal were discussing everything and anything other than it and what had happened... me... well... I didn't see the point in pretending everything was fine, though it did make for an awkward meal.

We finished some time later and headed back to my room, the four of us still weren't talking, much. When we got back Mal and Tai made some very obvious excuse to leave us alone, and left before Mara could ask to go with, or do much more than form a couple of syllables of something.

I looked at her, she returned the favor. It took a couple minutes before she sighed and dropped her head in my lap. “I'm sorry, you really don't deserve this.”

I smiled slightly and started stroking her hair. “It's ok-kay, I-I understand.”

“Actually... you don't... but that's my fault. Really, I should just show you again and get it over with.”

“What over with?” I asked, but as soon as I said it, I wished I hadn't.

She sighed, got up, and closed the blinds and locked the door. “I'll just show you, and then I'll give you the bits I left out about what happened.”

I gave her a confused look as she walked back over, but said nothing as she closed her eyes and gave a shuddering sigh. Whatever it was, whatever was going to happen, it was clearly taking everything she had just to do it.

An then I noticed it, a sort of shimmering that went across her skin, starting from the top of her forehead and rippled down to her feet... though it was more than skin... it was like the whole thing was an image... like...

Then her clothing started to change. Her jeans melted away and turned into a knee length green skirt, her blue tennis shoes turned into thick, black high heeled ankle length boots, and her shirt changed from a dark brown t-shirt to a somewhat loose, randomly patterned green and blue shirt that was sort of blouse-like. But before I could say anything, or even move, her skin started to change to a blackish purple color, her hair lengthened, straightened and turned jet black, but her features were the same, her face the same, everything...

And then a pair of black feathery wings exploded out the back, and looked to be about as long as her arms.

She opened her eyes and looked at me, those same blue-green eyes staring at me, imploring me.

I smiled. “I-I don't know why you were so worried.”

She visibly relaxed. “That's cause I haven't finished yet.”

I decided it wise not to say anything as she closed her eyes, her skin rippling again, but this time a long, slender black and purple stripped cat tail curled its way out from under the skirt, the thing was easily three feet long, and her skin became scale-like except on her face, and her ears became elongated and pointy and her feet and shoes merged so that they were actually the same thing... though I could tell that she had some way to make the bottom harden so that it was shoe-like, whereas the top was more typical foot-like, though she had not toes to speak of. The top was very smooth and round, like the shoes had been, except with those same scales. She opened her eyes then, her one black, one dark purple eye staring at me.

I opened my mouth to speak, but then I felt a pulse, and a power hit me, weakening me somehow. I looked up to see her hands morphing, thinning, lengthening and eventually her fingers stuck together momentarily, only to pull apart with a sort of thin skin between them, like that of a duck's foot, only more flexible.

“That happened last time, too.” She muttered with a sigh, looking away. Her voice had a deeper quality to it now that I couldn't name, but it was still distinctly hers.

“Mara, it's not--”

“You said that last time, too, then my brother came in...”

I sat there, stunned. “He was aft-t-ter you...”

“There was no way he could have known... I mean... no one but you knows about this, you and him, really, I guess, and...”

“Look, that wasn't what it look-ked lik-ke. That last t-transformation... I-I c-could feel it...”

She looked back at me, eyes boring right through me. “What?”

“Honestly, it was just a reaction t-to that... some k-kind of pulse...”

“Pulse?”

I nodded. “Mara, I-I really don't c-care what you look like.”

“Really?” She asked, hopeful look in her eyes.

I smiled. “Really.”

She smiled back. “Guess I should have figured that out by you standing between the two of us... but I just sort of figured...”

I nodded, got up, and hugged her. She hugged me back.

“So why did me floating down the hallway b-back-kwards freak you out?” I asked as we released.

She sighed. “This whole transformation happened about a year and a half or so after I met you. And before you ask, I wasn't afraid of a color... well... actually I was for about a week before it exploded during a dream... not literally, but...”

“Dreams all in one c-color?”

She nodded. “You have personal experience with that?”

I nodded. “That's why I-I overc-came mine.”

“Oh, that's right. You mentioned that. But yeah, I overcame it in the dream, actually. Woke up and I was like this... though some of the extras came out after I got up. That completely freaked me out... I don't even know how I managed to figure out that I could hide it... I don't remember much of that day, really, except that I know I figured it out eventually... and, well, the way my parents are about these things... I never said anything.”

“Ever?”

She shook her head. “I was too scared. Even after you told me about yours, it took me a while to get up the courage to show you. Even after the cafeteria display... I don't know why, I was just... And seeing you so easily show off your differences, it just...”

I narrowed my eyes at her. “There's something ab-bout this that isn't sit-ting right.”

“What do you mean?”

“People usually rememb-ber the details of that day, vividly. The fac-ct that you don't rememb-ber specifics at all... and then your inab-bility to t-tell anyone or even show me after the whole thing with T-tai's friend... it mak-kes me wonder if you're suppressing something.”

She stared at me.

“What? It's possib-ble.”

“Yeah, I know, I mean, your stutter... but... me? With this?”

“It's traumatic enough.” I insisted.

She stared at me.

“Sorry, maybe I-I should st-top talk-k-king.”

She smiled slightly and shook her head. “No, I still stand by the fact that I like it when you speak. Besides, it's comforting.”

“C-comfort-ting?”

She nodded and hugged me again. “Immensely.”

I didn't say anything for a second, but hugged her back.

We released. She gave me a searching look. “What?”

“I-I'm think-king... well... you should b-be checked over.”

“What?!”

“Just t-to mak-ke sure there aren't any weird side effects, and the pulse thing was just odd...”

She stared at me like my hair was on fire.

“They won't do anything you don't want them t-to--”

“How do you know that?”

“Mara, they're just lik-ke that here. They're all ab-b-bout patient privacy and they won't tell anyone anything without your c-concent. They won't even do anything without your c-concent unless you're unc-conscious and it's a life threating thing.”

She gave me a deer in the headlights look.

“Honestly, Mara, they won't mind. It's free, and hec-ck, they won't even look at you t-twice.”

“Really?”

“They're professionals.”

She gave me a disbelieving look.

“I-I c-can c-call one in, if you prefer. But I-I really think you should be check-ked over... just to be safe. I-I don't want anything happening to you, ok-kay?”

She sighed. “What's the worse that could happen?”

“Any numb-ber of things. Especially if your t-transformation is a b-bloodlines gone wrong thing. Even if it's stab-ble and has b-been since it happened, just about anything c-could happen at any t-time, and also, the longer you wait to b-be look-ked at, the less lik-kely it is that they c-can do anything. You get check-ked out now and they might ac-ctually be ab-ble to do something ab-bout your appearance.”

“Really?”

“Really. They know what they're doing, promise.”

She sighed. “Fine. Call someone in, then.”

I smiled, went back to the bed, and grabbed a small remote looking thing, and pressed the red button on it. It started to flash, and I put it back down on the bed, turned, and smiled at her. “You'll b-be fine, promise.”

She sighed and sat down on the bed, feet dangling above the floor. “You know, I don't remember how my feet got like this, either, except that this was the only way to make them... work... to transform, that is. Otherwise when I transformed my feet were bigger.”

“Odd.”

“Yeah.”

The door knob turned, but didn't open.

“Oh, damn, the door. I forgot.” She muttered.

I smiled. “Relax.” I said as I went over, unlocked it, and opened it.

The doctor from this morning hurried in. “What is it? Did you have a--?” And then she caught a look at Mara. “Aaahh. That explains a few things.”

Mara looked up at her. “What?”

“A lot of the patients in this area experienced loss in energy suddenly. Now I know why.”

“What?” Mara asked.

“When you transform, you require energy. You pull yours from the surrounding area, which is why your energy levels feel the same, right?”

“Right...”

“I-I only felt that at the end.” I said.

She nodded. “That's normally how it works. You have the ability to change your appearance?”

“Only to make myself human again.” Mara insisted.

“Right. Well, you could probably make yourself look like someone else if you tried, but that's later. Right now I need to figure out if this is what you're supposed to look like or not. How long have you been like this?”

“Um... two and a half years?”

She sighed and shook her head. “And no one knew, until now, huh?”

Mara shook her head.

“I-I think she's suppressing memories.” I told her.

“Hmm. That's not good. It will be hard to treat if you're right.”

“Why?” Mara asked.

“Do you remember what led up to it...?”

“Mostly. Is it unusual that I overcame my fear in a dream?”

“Depends. How long had you had your fear?”

“About a week.”

“And do you remember what triggered it?”

She shook her head.

“Interesting...” The doctor muttered. “I'm going to check something in your mind, do you mind?”

“Uh... I guess not.” She said.

“Thank you.” The doctor gave her a slight smile, pulled up a chair, sat down, and stared into Mara's eyes.

She sat there, unblinking, Mara too, for what felt like hours.

Eventually both started to blink again, and Mara put a hand to her head. “Was it supposed to feel like that?”

“Not usually, but with you I had to pry a few things loose to find what I was looking for, unfortunately. Your head is very oddly organized, and from the way it is organized, I'm wondering if someone messed with your files.”

“My files? How?”

“Plenty of ways. Though it looks pretty systematic and orderly, so it was most likely deliberate. I'd be shocked if it wasn't.” She sighed. “There's something else I'm afraid of, though I don't know how...”

“Just say it, please.” Mara insisted.

The doctor nodded. “I'm wondering if part of your memories were written over.”

“What?! Why would someone want to write over my--?”

“--Your past? Plenty of reasons. I can go digging if you'd like, but there's something wrong, definitely, especially since, from what I can tell, your transformation is a lot older than a couple years.”

Mara paled. “Really?”

She nodded. “Though they did do a good job, so chances are, you could probably go the rest of your life with your mind like it is and never notice the difference. It's really up to you and what you want.”

I gave Mara an I-told-you-they-were-nice look as I sat down next to her and put my arm around her. “You don't have t-to decide now, you know.”

The doctor nodded. “Andy's right.”

Mara shook her head. “No, no, if I don't do it now, I don't know if I'll have the gumption to do it later, and I don't want to wonder about what I don't know. So do it, whatever it is, just do it.”

The doctor nodded and looked into Mara's eyes again.

Neither of them moved for a while, and I tried my hardest not to, either.

Then suddenly Mara blinked furiously, the doctor sat back, and the two exchanged grim looks.

“I'm sorry.” The doctor finally said.

“What is it?” I asked.

“My mom... knows...” Mara muttered. “She hid it from me... hid this. And truth is, had I told her the second time, she would have suppressed it again. She has to hide her looks, too, though hers aren't as... crazy.”

“Right.” I muttered.

“Yet all this time... she's been complaining and talking ill of...” She sighed and shook her head. “I don't even know what to do about this. My uncle found out the second time... it was a Christmas, and he was over... I don't know how he figured out that I was freaking... helped me get them under control and made me swear not to tell anyone. I was too stunned by what I had remembered to do anything... the fear of orange... mom had suppressed it in me somehow... and we both knew she'd suppress this if she could. I think she hated her own transformations and didn't want me to deal with that... either that, or she was afraid... I think she was afraid of me... though she acted like the rest of the world wouldn't understand... but she hid this part of me from myself and from everyone all my life... I just... I don't know what to do about this. She lied to me.”

“Actually, it's a bit more involved than that.” The doctor said. “With the rush of memories came the rush of new information. What happened with your body, it originated some generations back. It looks like a series of illusions gone bad until this happened, making it permanent. Looks like every generation is different, though. I'm glad they showed you that trick with your feet while you were still young, though, or there's no way we could do anything about it now. It has to be dealt with right away or not at all.”

“So... this is it, then?”

The doctor nodded. “Though, I'm wondering if your transformations will be quite that complete after this.”

“What do you mean?!”

“I mean, part of why it was that flawless of a cover is what you remembered. Now that you know the truth... well... it might take more energy to cover.”

Mara paled. I hugged her tighter.

“At the least, you might have to spend more time in your true form.”

“I already sleep like this.” She muttered. She looked at me. “I have good locks.”

I nodded.

“That might not be enough anymore.”

“Great.” Mara muttered. “And pulling other people's energy?”

“That will only go away with practice and a good teacher. I can recommend several, actually.”

“Thanks. Well, at least now I know why I was so scared... of everything...”

I squeezed her tighter. “Relax, it will all b-be ok-kay.”

“You better be right.” She muttered, putting her arm around my back. “The only good thing about transforming like this is that it makes me taller. Though it would be interesting to explain if my feet ever untransformed at all.”

“Hopefully it won't get to that.” The doctor said. “Just pay attention this weekend as so what your body is telling you... I'm sure you already know what it feels like to overexert yourself with your abilities?”

She nodded. “Once, I had it up so long I couldn't get up the next day. I was pale, too, apparently, so mom let me stay home. Actually, she didn't bother me much, which is weird, which allowed me to drop the illusion most of the time... I wonder if she knows I figured it out again...”

“Dad's done that.” I agreed. “Though his was over the c-c-course of days... c-come to think of it...”

The doctor smiled. “This is a different case, and a different type of thing. This isn't aura manipulation, this is physical transformation, which is a different beast altogether, and easier to keep up, stamina wise. All the major energy is done in the doing it in the first place phase.”

“Oh, ok-kay.”

“Which means, if I don't have enough energy to change, I don't have the energy.”

“Right, though it does need upkeep maintenance.”

“So that's why it hurts first thing, if at all?”

“It hurt-ts?” I asked, worried.

“If I don't eat enough or sleep enough, sometimes, yeah. And during particularly bad periods and that sort of thing.”

“That suck-ks!”

“Thanks. Man, now I wish I had told you a lot sooner... you're really understanding about this whole thing.”

I smiled slightly. “C-comes with the t-territory.”

“I'm sorry I jumped to conclusions about your reaction before.”

“I-I'm sorry I-I gave you c-cause to worry.”

“I'll look into tutors for you, and I'll let you know before Andy leaves tomorrow.”

“Thanks.”

“I think that's about all I can do for you, though, at this point.”

“Thanks for that.”

“You're welcome. Do you want me to stick around for your transformation process, or...”

She shook her head. “I'm so tired and worn out... I don't know if I can complete it right now.”

The doctor nodded and smiled. “Do you need a bed to sleep in?”

“You c-can use mine.” I insisted.

“Fine,” She agreed. “But on one condition.”

“Hmm?”

“I want you in bed with me.”

“What?!”

“To snuggle, that's it.”

“Oh, ok-kay, that I-I c-can do.”

She chuckled. “Sorry, should have been clearer.”

I smiled. “Yeah, well.”

The doctor stood up with a smile. “Guess I'll leave you two to your sleep, then. Feel free to call if you need anything.”

“Thanks.” Mara said.

“So how are we going t-to do this on a t-twin b-bed?” I asked.

She smiled. “Easily.”