-Yesterday to Today-

faithless, loyalless, joyless

these words ringing through my mind

„do YOU believe in God?"

in destiny..?

„ I don´t like the idea that I´m not in control of my life"

how does that fit... I can believe that some things were meant to be

and still make my own choices

I can choose to eat this sandwich, go to that movie, to commit suicide

THAT I can choose

I can´t control what others think or do, I can´t know what their reactions will be

I can only guess, claculate

that is my nature

being sure before I stick myself out there... make sure my coordinates are correct

don´t want to be mistaken, don´t want to be wrong

Can you see it now?

perfectionism, creativeness, fear, joy, and surprise

this is me.. my life.. my story