Sometimes, when I’m lying awake at night, I wish that we hadn’t gone back. When I start thinking that, I can never fall back asleep, and I just lie there, staring up at the ceiling of wherever I am, fiercely wishing that I could go back, and change history.

It’s impossible of course, to do that, but still, I think, I think that if I hadn’t persuaded Kaj to come along, everything today would be different.

We shouldn’t have gone back.

Kaj and I stared at the destruction around us- the burned Great Tree, where we had been living, and the small town around the tree, ruined. Arrows protruded through the first body that we saw on the ground- one of the older Royal Faeries, who our father used to plot with. The arrows were fletched with the brown and white feathers- feathers from the Common Faeries, who could fly, and catch the birds that soared high above.

We moved on silently, close together, Kaj had pulled out his sword, and was clutching it- I had no doubt that he’d spear the first person with wings we saw.

We stopped at the base of the huge tree, staring with wide eyes at the charred trunk, which rose up into the clouds, all of it burnt and blackened by a fire that could’ve only been magical in nature.

Slowly, I lead the way up, up into the branches, stepping over burnt bodies, unrecognizable.

I knew before I even reached the ashes of the building that everyone inside was dead.

Kaj choked behind me, and vomited, holding his stomach and bending over the side of the tree, while I stood there, numbness filling my body, making movement impossible, thoughts unbearable.

They were all dead.

Our clan… the great Ea’llatien clan, had been reduced to cinders… and two young boys who still didn’t know what to do with them selves.

We left that place, knowing that there was nothing else for us there. I think I wanted revenge, but I was too tired, to numb to plan anything out.

All I could do was walk. Walk away, and hope that my little brother was following me.

I think I cried. I fell asleep eventually, Kaj choking on sobs beside me, and I stared up at the stars through the branches of the trees, listening as the wind rustled the leaves, and as night birds called out to each other.

The forest lived around me as I stared, I remember closing me eyes and sighing, swallowing a painful gulp, before turning over, and lying, staring at the ground.

The next morning, we didn’t speak to each other, and instead silently ate a small breakfast, never really making eye contact.

We set off on our way- away from the destruction behind us, and heading towards our future, silent, thinking.

Well, I was thinking.

Kaj must’ve been thinking too- he vomited up his breakfast half an hour after we started off.

Sometime around noon, when it became uncomfortably warm in the forest, we stopped, and sat down across from each other. I finally spoke. “Do you think you can handle a lunch?”

He shrugged, and then sighed. “No, no I don’t think so. It’s just…” he bit his lip, and glanced to the side, uncomfortable. “It’s just… when I saw him lying there, with the arrows all in him, and…” he paused, running his hand through his dirty hair. “And then… when I saw all of the ashes and the charred bodies… and I thought about Taraaja, Aanaja, and Mother… and even our father, all lying in their beds… dead before they even know it…” his dark eyes moved to meet mine, and I noticed how red they were- he must’ve cried himself to sleep too. “…and then I think that we could’ve been there too.”

I stared at him, my mouth slightly open. He was right… it could’ve been us, lying there, burnt and dead even before we woke up. I sighed. Then I smirked. “Guess you’re glad now that I ordered you to come with me.”

Kaj stared at me, horrified, and grimaced, whirling around as he choked on his breath, covering his face.

I wrapped an arm around him, feeling the stinging, hot tears on my own face, and ruffled his hair slowly. “I didn’t mean it… we just…” I found myself having to search for the right words to say, without making our situation sound as bad. “We just need to keep going. There’s a reason we weren’t there, you know?”

My little brother stared at me, and then grimaced. “How could you SAY that?” He asked, pushing away my arm. “You’re terrible at comforting people, Vaar.” But he smiled, even if it was a sad, small smile.

“Yeah,” I said, leaning back, onto the hard ground, staring up at the sunny blue sky. “I know.”

Four days later, we reached a river.

Kaj was more or less back to his usual self, and he whooped, before running forward, and splashing into the shallows, sending fish darting away, before he dunked his head into the water.

I looked down the river, noting how it curved around quickly and was shallow- it wouldn’t be good for boats- but it would be useful for washing in…

“I’M CLEEEEAN!” Kaj yelled, obviously not caring if anyone heard us or not. He sat down, taking off his shirt, and threw it at me, his boots quickly following- which hurt a bit more.

“Watch it!” I growled, slipping out of my own shirt and boots. I think we both had this thing where we needed to be cleaned… it certainly brightened our moods.

“I’m going to catch one of these fish,” Kaj said, completely out of the blue, standing up.

“Really?” I asked, raising an eyebrow. “This should be entertaining.”

Kaj gave me one of his fake lofty looks. “Never doubt a man before he has a chance to prove himself.”

“So you’re a man now?” I wondered, leaning back against the nearest rock, enjoying the cold, slimy feeling against my wet skin.

“Why yes,” Kaj said, posing for a brief moment, attempting to look manly.

He was too skinny and still boyish for it have much of an effect, so I laughed at him, and told him to catch his fish- he could skin it and cook it too, if it so pleased him.

Kaj splashed around for a while, I laughed at him, and for the first time in many days, I actually felt the weight of life lift off my shoulders, and I was free.

Sunlight filtered down from the foliage high above us, warming the water, and making the minutes almost seem serene and slow.

Kaj never did catch a fish, although not from the lack of trying.

I finally stepped out of the river to lie on the grass nearby, watching birds fly above overhead, and let myself fall away into the wilderness around me- the sounds of Kaj splashing and cursing, the chattering of squirrels, the rustling of a small animal moving about near a bush, the sound of the wind as it blew through the trees, and touching my face.

Suddenly, the oddest thought came to me.

My eyes snapped open, and I sat up, uncomfortable. Thoughts like that weren’t supposed to be in my head… really… controlling the wind? Uneasy, I looked over at Kaj, who was swearing profusely as he splashed around, jumping around randomly.

I grinned, and laid back down, still a bit unsettles. Really, thoughts like that weren’t normal. I wasn’t meant to use elemental magic, anyway. I was prophesied to be the Faerie King… not a Lord… I sighed, and then swore loudly as Kaj splashed water at me. “You have it coming for you!” I snarled, sitting up and glaring at him.

Kaj shrugged, grinning, and stepped out of the river, flopping in a wet heap down beside me. “So, when do you think I’ll meet her?”

“Meet who?” I snapped, rolling away from him.

“The girl I’m going to fall in love with and marry, of course,” Kaj said, as if that was obvious.

“I couldn’t tell you,” I said dryly, turning to glance at him. “Anyway, why are you so worried? You’ve got quite a long time to think about it.”

Kaj grinned. “I’m impatient. Anyway, it’d be good if I met her before I decided to become a great war leader.”

“Ahh.” I had completely lost him by now.

“I’m going to lead a huge army- greater than any of the faerie groups- and we’ll troop to the capital, where they say elves live.”

“So it’s elves now?” I wondered, rolling my eyes. “What are you going to do with this army of yours?”

“Oh, take over the capital, of course. Behead the elves and crown myself king of Eralae,” Kaj said, laughing. “There’s obviously something wrong with the elvish leadership…” he paused, suddenly growing serious, “especially if they’re just sitting back and allowing these battles to continue.”

We stared up at the blue and white sky for a few minutes, silent, until Kaj broke it by sitting up. “I’m hungry,” he said, moving away to our bags, and pulling out a stale loaf of bread. “I was really hoping for some fish, though.”

I snorted, and sat up too, pulling on my shirt and boots. “You’d probably be too much of a pansy to kill one, even if you had managed to catch one.”

Kaj glared, and banged the bread against a rock, trying to tear off a piece for himself. “You’re just jealous, because you didn’t think of it, Vaar.”

Right.

He finally managed to break the loaf into eatable chunks, although it was hard to chew, and it took us longer than we thought to actually eat it.

I don’t think either of us minded too much, though. The day was warm and sunny, and the silence between us was comfortable and calm.

I suppose, like all good things, it was too good to last.

We had just finished eating- or at least Kaj, who must’ve been very hungry had- when we heard a scream from across the river.

We glanced at each other, Kaj’s eyes were wide, our minds both on the scream we had heard the night our family was killed.

There was, however, no scent of burning flesh, nor no flash of magic, so I stood up, my bread forgotten, and stretched, glancing down at Kaj. “I think we should go check it out,” I admitted, pulling my hair back and tying the silver strands into a braid… anything to keep it out of my eyes.

Kaj stood up warily, and he shook his head. “You remember what happened last time. I’d…I’d like to keep my lunch,” he added, not speaking the real reason he didn’t want to go find the source of the scream.

I sighed. “I’ll go then. Stay here.”

Kaj nodded, and I splashed across the river, which at its deepest only came up to my waist, holding up my sword, before reaching the other bank, and crawling out, taking the weapon out. I glanced over my shoulder at Kaj, who stared back at me.

I grinned reassuringly at him, before stepping forward, heading towards the spot where the scream had come from.

Minutes passed as I walked forward, abruptly stopping, my body tense. Footsteps were coming from somewhere to my left- heavy footsteps- more than one person, and grunts.

I crawled up into the nearest tree, just in time.

I had been expecting Common Faeries- or at least Royals, but instead, about seven of the ugliest things I’ve ever seen trooped into view, towing what looked like an elf.

Well, he looked enough like what I’d read about elves to allow me to make the assumption- he had clan tattoos under his eyes and on his horizontally long ears, which you’d never see on a faerie. Plus, his hair was a dark golden color- unlike the silver, black, and brown colors of most faeries’ hair.

I stared down at the beasts while they pulled the elf along- who seemed to be mildly amused about his whole situation, not at all panicked.

I frowned down at the beasts, trying to place a name to their ugly faces. They were brownish grey, with long, bulbous noses, large feline eyes, and stringy hair. They stood maybe as tall as Kaj, up to my chin, I’d say, and they didn’t look particularly intelligent. I decided, after viewing the situation, that I could take on about four of them without much trouble- their weapons looked clumsy and rusty- pathetic compared to lithe little me and my sword.

They were conversing with each other, anyway, as they marched past, and I leaned down, trying to hear their conversation.

“-She’d better like this one.”

“He smells royal,” another one grunted, sniffing the elf, who smiled back.

“He looks small-“

“She likes ‘em small!”

“Yes,” the elf agreed amiably, “I’m very small. I’m certain she’ll love me.”

“Shut up!” The nearest beast smacked the elf with the back of his hand, sending him crashing to the ground.

Alright… time for a rescue…

I paused for one second, wondering if I should run back and get Kaj, but they were already moving ahead- the elf had managed to stand back up, and I might loose them if I bothered to get him. We’d meet up once this mess was finished.

Silently, I jumped to the ground, falling behind the group of beasts, and my eye caught the green ones of the elf, who blinked at me blankly, before grinning nastily, and nodded slightly.

Deciding that I liked the look of this elf- despite how stupid elves were supposed to be- I trailed after the group of beasts, silent in the forest compared to their loud stomping, and cleanly speared the one trailing behind. I caught it before it fell and made a noise, wrinkling my nose at the smell…they could at least bathe. Disgusted, I gently placed the dead and really bloody thing on the ground, before hurrying after the group, my sword ready, in case any of them saw me. Of course, they looked too stupid to even notice a horse standing in front of them… I rolled my eyes, and snuck up behind the beast who was pulling the elf along by a rope.

The elf raised his eyebrows at me, before glancing down at the ropes, and I ignored him- I didn’t have any idea what he was trying to tell me anyway.

Now…this, would have to be fast…I jumped at the beast, who turned around, growling. I sighed, as the other five whipped around to stare, opened mouthed at me.

I killed the one who made the noise, cut the rope that held the elf, and then paused, crouching into position, chuckling at my luck. These beasts had about the slowest reaction times in the world… which was good.

In the time it took then to pull out their weapons, I’d slain one of their number, and was working on my second.

Suddenly, they stopped their fumbling attacks, and I flinched, feeling magic. I turned to glance at the elf, who gave me a guilty look.

Ignoring the blood, I killed the rest, and then paused, catching my breath, feeling the elf’s spell wear off. He was good- to make a spell that quickly.

He grinned up at me, and extended his hand. “Thanks,” he said, looking around, obviously impressed.

I shrugged, and wiped my hand on my pants, getting off as much blood as possible, before shaking his hand. “It wasn’t hard.”

He laughed, and then leaned back, eyeing the bodies. “Well, thanks anyway. You’re a faerie, right?”

“A Royal Faerie,” I corrected him, turning around, back towards where I thought the river was. I needed to find Kaj.

“Hey! I’m royal too!” He said, following me.

I glanced over my shoulder, irritated. On closer inspection, he looked like he was around Kaj’s age- maybe a year or two younger- and still at that age where boys felt the need to be annoying.

“I’m not royalty,” I said, frowning at him. “I’m a Royal Faerie…as compared to a Common Faerie.”

“There’s a difference?” He wondered.

I gave him my most disgusted look. “Yes.”

“Oh. Umm… I’m sorry…” He paused, and I could hear him still following me. “My name’s Jvaevic.”

Jvaevic? Who’d ever heard of such a weird name? At least it sounded elvish…

“Who are you?” He wondered, after a few moments of silence.

“Vaaran.” I said, reaching the break of trees over looking the river. “And that’s…” I trailed off, staring.

Kaj was gone.