Oblivious to logic

Feb. 15th 2005

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Oblivious to logic,

The answers are right there

Returning my desperation

With an unresponsive stare.

There’s no reason for this feeling,

Grown so quick and strong,

Yet I cannot dispel the aching

Of my heartbeat’s constant throng.

Beside myself, I can only wonder

What will relieve this nonsense.

But as I do, I know I’d miss

The painful pleasant constance.

To speak, release:

It would seem this is the answer

Yet there is nothing fore and nothing hence

Where I have overcome this monster.

True, I have before faced it—

The wide encompassing jaws—

But I opened my arms and drew it in

Despite the hurtful flaws.

So yes, I was not surprised

When the world came crashing down,

For there is no stability to be found

Built on such forgiving ground.

To be released, of guilt and blame,

Who cannot aspire for this?

Yet for me the price has always been

Too high to reach the bliss.

A love, a haven, a safety net:

I cannot explain their absence

Without some inherent admission

Of my own emotions tragic.

The answer’s there, the brother to

The monster looming behind,

It says the truth, but I cannot accept

The parts of me you make shine.