Reasons

What is it inside me that drives me to bleed?

What is this hunger that I’m trying to feed?

Imagine a child so little and small,

Don’t talk about stupid things like feelings and all.

We’ll find a way to take away her voice,

So she’ll learn to use blood, that’s a better choice.

Every time she’s hurting, oh she’ll let others know

All you have to do is look at her legs and it shows.

If there’s any storms going on under that calm-looking sea

It will manifest into little red lines as bright as can be

It’s as if she bleeds to make sure she’s still alive, still here

Or maybe she does it to erase old fear?

Perhaps she’s doing it to forget the pain

To block out the craziness and keep her sane.

Who knows why she does it, the fact is she does.

Don’t claim to understand because

The reasons are many but one thing remains:

You’ll never understand what it’s like in my chains!

Heather L. Johnson

June 2003