The thin line between sinner, and savior

By The Angel Of Hope

It has been said God will forgive you for your sins. The problem is, I never asked him to.

"Wake up."

A soft voice said to me, as I laid there on my back, with my eyes closed. I was hesitant to. The last thing I remember doing was putting the gun to my head, and pulling the trigger. What a way to celebrate my 17th birthday. I expected to awake in the depths of Hell. To be greeted by some little demons with pitchforks. Hey id never seen Hell before, how was I to really know what it was like?

My eyes slowly opened, and was somewhat blinded by the bright light. Bright light? I thought to myself. When my eyes fully adjusted there stood a somewhat normal looking woman. She was mid height, blond hair with a little flower in it, and great looking lips. For some reason she had no shirt on, but I didn’t mind looking at her firm breast. I wanted to rub my eyes to make sure I wasn’t seeing things, and I did. The thing is...I never moved my hands. There were feathers rubbing my eyes. No not feathers, but wings.

"What the hell is going on here?"

I asked, as I realized the wings were coming from my body. I could now see that the woman had a pair herself. She looked down at me there on the ground, with the look of panic on my face. She smiled, and said

"Welcome to Heaven."

"Fuck, shit, damn it, damn it all to hell, bloody hell, fuck!"

This cursing went on for about a good five min.

"Could you please stop that?" she asked looking somewhat nervous.

"God doesn’t like you doing that."

I turned to her, and said

"Fuck God."

I had spent my life convincing myself I was going to Hell for my sins, and that’s that. It’s what I wanted. I had broken commandments, as if it was nothing more than taking free candy. I almost caused the death of someone, for something they did to another. I even took my own life!! I should be in Hell, but I wasn’t. The angel..woman...whatever she was came over and put her hand on my shoulder.

"God doesn’t like sending kids to Hell, so he forgave you for all you had done, be happy with that Jamie."

"I can’t be happy" I said.

"There is so much I did wrong, and so many kids that still suffer while I'm here relaxing in Heaven. Now I find out the kids that push people like me to the point I went to might get off, because God has a soft heart for kids...no I just can’t be happy."

I began to demand to see God. I mean who else was going to fix the problem? She let go of my shoulder.

"You do not see God."

"What the hell do you mean? This is heaven."

"You have to feel him, embrace him." she said.

I closed my eyes, and thought to myself, why am I here? Then something funny happened. Someone answered me back.

"Is Hell something you wish to see that bad?"

I opened my eyes to see if someone else was standing with us, but it was still me and the woman. She nodded her head, and said

"Go on, talk to him."

"Yes." I said.

"I will let you see that place for yourself, then you tell me if its still somewhere you want to go."

The voice called out a name.

"Ashley."

I herd the woman answer. So that’s her name I thought to myself.

"Take him there, and then bring him back."

Before I knew it she was pulling on my hand. She looked like a very joyful girl. She had a big smile that you couldn’t help, but smiling back at. She held her free hand out, and was seeming to concentrate on doing something. The silence was getting to me.

"Ahh, so how old are you?"

I thought I was seeing things at first, but a crack appeared out of thin air. Slowly it got wider, and wider. All you could see in it was darkness. As she slowly pulled me towards the hole, the flower in her hair started to dry up, and crumble.

"I have existed for 1,052 years." She said as she dragged me into the hole.

Never had I seen a more darker place than this. If felt as every fear I had ever had was reemerging at once. My skin itself felt as if it was bleeding from every poor on my body. The air was so cold, and dry. I began to let go of her hand. I just wanted to get down on the ground, curl myself up, and cry. She began to talk to me.

"There is light to enter Heaven, and darkness to enter Hell. If you face your fears, you will find the light in the darkness."

This was what I wanted all this time, and I was not going to let fear take me over now. I picked myself up, and as she said I began to find "the light in the darkness."

"We're here." she said as we stepped out of the dark place we were in.

Think about every thought you ever had about hell...then laugh at it. The fear my body was feeling made me wish I was back in the dark place. I didn’t realize the ground was made of rotting bodies, till one tried to grab me. Ashley laughed at me as I jumped back She said

"Lawyers, even in death they are a pain."

The air was filled with sounds of crying, and the smell of death. The fields of fire did exist, but not even Vango’s insanity would be enough to capture the true beauty of it on the canvas. Sulfur in the air made my eyes water, and the heat from the rivers of fire made me sweat profusely. The damned were always trying to crawl their way up. To what, I don’t know. Maybe some small hope they could escape this place. I stood there with a smile on my face, as I watched the new arrivals reactions when they learned there was a God, and that he had been watching all they had been doing in life. Grown man weep as they were dragged off kicking and screaming by creatures to be punished for their sins. It was rather funny to watch the women try to get their way out of Hell. They tried to bribe the creatures with anything they could think of. Money, homes, sex was the most offered thing.

This brown haired woman stood there, and started to remove her clothing. She took one of the creatures hand, and slowly ran it down her stomach. You could see she was disgusted by the touch of its hand. She placed the hand on her vagina, and slowly used it to rub herself. I thought she had forced herself to think of some great sex she had when she was alive, for her nipples were now hard. However it was nothing more than her body reacting to the cold steel that the demon used to pierce her back.

"She killed her husband."

I said with the grin still on my face. I looked down at one of the bodies on the ground. The grin on my face now disappeared, and emerged a look of disgust. I found myself talking to him.

"You raped a little boy. He had great trust in you, and you took advantage of him."

I quickly stopped looking at him, and stepped back. I turned to Ashley.

"How do I know what they have done?"

She let her wings spread out. It looked so beautiful when she did that despite the fact of being in Hell.

"Its powers that comes with being the type of angel you are."

I wasn’t sure what she meant. I mean weren’t we all the same? She lowered her wings now. A few feathers fell from them, and landed on some of the bodies. The touch of the feathers seemed to ease their pain for a little. I watched as drips of sweat slowly dripped off her light brown nipples.

"In life you wanted the sinners to suffer for what they have done, now in death you can see, and feel the sins. You can also find the good in people, if that’s what you wish to find. More powers will come to you in time. God plans to make you what they like to call on Earth a “Guardian Angel."

I now spread my wings out.

"Ashley...can you do the same?"

She ran her hand across one of my wings.

"No, like the other angels I can only feel the good in people."

"Has there ever been another angel that can feel the sins?"

I asked as she still rubbed my wing. The question seemed to bother her.

"Yes" she said.

"He now runs this place."

She let go of the wing, and started to walk. I became more, and more intrigued by this place with the more I took in. There was something about knowing that the sinners would be punished that was so exciting to me. There was something quite erotic about watching them receive the punishment. In my short time here I was becoming very comfortable with my surroundings. I mean I was in Hell, and felt more at home than I had in all my 17years on Earth.

"Why do the demons not bother us?"

I asked as I slowly reached out to touch one. Ashley pulled my hand back.

"You are an angel, and God will let no harm come to you ever. However this does not mean you should tempt the demons."

I watched as this demon hound began to feast on the flesh of a young man. My heart jumped a little as I heard the bones in his neck snap. You could see that he was in great pain as the blood ran from the holes in his neck into the demons mouth. Being that he was already dead the only thing that would be certain for him was that there would be more pain to come.

"Ashley."

I said her name as I sat down, and began to play with the blood that had been dripping down the mans arm onto the ground.

"Why do I feel different here, than I did in Heaven?"

I couldn’t see her, but I could feel her eyes watching each dip my hand made into the blood.

"Our bodies react different depending on weather we are in Heaven, Hell, or Earth."

I watched as the blood slowly began to drip from my fingers, and asked her what she meant.

"Well."

She began to walk closer to me.

" In Heaven our powers are strongest, on earth we have a greater connection with the living, and in Hell our powers are somewhat striped down. Here it is as if our body were alive once again."

My eye turned to the demon that was still was drinking the blood from the mans body. His eyes seemed to meet mine, and Im sure I saw a small smirk on its hairy somewhat dog like face. The words slowly came from my mouth as I parted my lips.

"Bleed him dry."

Ashley pulled me onto my feet.

"It's time we leave here."

She said as she began to open the door to Heaven. However I was not ready to leave, and had no intention of doing so. The door was almost open as I put my hands together, and made one large fist. With a smirk on my face I said.

"So down here our bodies act as if they were alive again?"

Before she could turn to answer me my fist came slamming down into her head. She wasn’t knocked out, but dazed enough for me to push her into the door. I was not willing to take the risk that God would forgive more sinners, just because they were kids. There must be something I could do to help those other kids that suffer each day. Being some Guardian Angel that would tell them it would be better some day, was not what I had in mind. I turned to find that the demon had stopped his feast, and had been watching my actions. I spread my wings, and began to flap them. As I slightly hovered in the air, I looked at him and said.

"Take me to your master."

I was taken to large ancient looking church. It was strange to see such a place in Hell. Grass grew here, no demons walked on the land, it seemed to be a safe place. As I entered the building I was even more shocked to see people inside praying.

"What is this place?" I said allowed.

A man in a brown hooded outfit came and stood next to me. He looked as if he was a monk the way he was dressed. My body shivered as he stood next to me. It was the first I had felt anything, but warmth in my time here. I looked at him, I was eager to test my powers out on someone good. I tried find the good in him, but I found nothing more then emptiness when I did. However when I tried to read his sins I found myself on the ground in a deep sweet. Blood began to drip from my nose as sat there on the floor with my mouth slightly opened. My body shivered at the thought of what had just happened. I couldn’t see the sins clearly, but I could feel them just fine.

"Do not try that with me."

He said to me, as he put his hand out to pull me up. I started to crawl back until my back pressed onto the brick of the walls.

"You asked to see me, and now you run from me?"

He said as he pulled his hand away. I looked dead at him, trying my best to see a face in the hood, but I saw nothing more than darkness. A little boy dressed in shorts and a black T-shirt came running up quickly.

"Im going now."

He said as he tugged on Lucifer robe. He turned his head, and began to look at me with a strange look.

"What are you doing down there Mr.?"

He came over and took my left hand as if to try and pull me up. As he touched it the outline of a cross began to emerge from my skin. I started seeing visions of him sick in a Hospital bed. Then the visions went to him there surround by his family crying as his little heart stopped beating. He looked down at the cross on top of my hand, and backed away.

"Your strange Mr., but I have to go now anyway."

Just like that he ran off, and entered one of the doors I had used to enter Hell.

"What does he mean he's going home?"

I asked as I picked myself up. The cross now slowly vanished from my hand. Lucifer turned to me and said.

"Why Heaven of course."

His head tilted back, and he looked up at the roof of the church.

"How I miss that place sometimes. This is the closest I can get to it now. This is a place for those soles who get lost along the way to Heaven or back to Earth to be safe from all the lil demons outside."

I watched as more and more portals sent these lost soles on their way.

"Well its time get down to biz."

Lucifer said as he reached out and grabbed my hand. The skin on top of my hand began to burn as he held on tight and started to speak.

"God has forgiven your sins."

The burning sensation became stronger.

"You wish to be punished for your sins, but more so to punish those who have sinned."

The cross reemerged onto my hand. I felt a separate pain coming from it as if it was suffering on its own.

"I will open the portal to Earth for you, and you will hunt down the sinners, and send them to me. You will make them suffer like they did to you."

I could see the cross now fading from my hand. I fought the pain and managed to get the words out.

"I will bring justice to the innocent that have been wronged."

The cross reemerged onto my hand. The sight of it must have scared Lucifer, because he quickly let go of my hand when it came back.

"So there is still good in you." He said looking at me

When I looked down there on the top of my left hand was the cross, and under it were three numbers...6,6,6. He raised his hand and opened the portal behind me. He looked at me and said.

"Quickly you must go now. God has learned of what you have done, and I can keep the portals to Hell closed for only so long.

Before I entered the portal I asked him about why the cross had not disappeared like before, and why I had the numbers there. All he did was laugh and say.

"You are now a child of both Heaven and Hell. You bear the marks of both a saved sole, and a lost one. You will have to deal with the consequences that come with those marks."

"Consequences?" I asked.

He came over and gently whispered into my ear.

"Heaven, and Hell are not the only places that have those that know of angels and sins, now go. Oh by the way, enjoy the new wings."

I had no idea what I had gotten myself into, but I would soon learn.