This one'll be more chapters! It's branching off of my idea for TAoL Star Ocean! It's TAoL Games!

Very abridged, just main events, and all in the fun Chapter 14 styled IRC chat thing. Kinda like that 5 Minute Games I loved to read before I completely forgot about it, except it's with TAoL characters. And it's much different and funnier. But still keeps Simonbob's principle of saying "Slash" to kill a boss. So yeah, if you've played and you don't remember some things happening, they probably didn't happen.

First up, another very awesome RPG, one of the top 2, actually! CHRONO TRIGGER!

If you haven't played, here's who each character represents:

LH is Crono. Keep on no talkin, no talkers. Susie is Marle. Yay? Hype is Lucca. Go her. Joe is Frog, cause Frog's awesome. Bob is Robo, cause of the slight name similarities. Ayla's not used cause she's a ho, and Auth is Magus, cause Magus is slightly more awesome than Frog. And Crono. Combined.

So yeah.

--- (hana-fied!)

LH's Mom: LH! Wake up! There's a fair today!
LH: Bah.
LH's Mom: Here's 200 bucks. Have fun!
LH: Sure thing.

Susie: OW! Don't run into me.
LH: You ran into me!
Susie: Shut up and grab my pendant!
LH: ...bitch.

Hype: Look! It's a Telepod!
Susie: I wanna try! Oops! I'm being warped in time!
LH: God damn you. Here I go as well!
Hype: Dad, stop yelling at that old man and help me!
Hype's Dad: If you played the game, you would understand that.
Old man: I've been violated!

LH: Enemies! Slash.

LH: Queen Leene! I'm a friend of yours?
Susie: No, dumbass, it's me!
LH: ...I still hate you for being a bitch.
Susie: I'm breaking up!
LH: NO!
Susie: Literally.
LH: Oh, thank God.

Hype: I came here as soon as I could!
LH: What took ya?
Hype: Shut up. Where's Susie?
LH: Dead.
Hype: Really?
LH: She disintegrated in front of me, WHAT DO YOU THINK.
Hype: I think she's a member of the royal family. She's Princess Nadia!
LH: ...So?

Church Lady: Well isn't that special!
LH: Who the hell are you?
Church Lady: I'm a monster ready to eat you.
LH: Wonderful. Slash.

Hype: Oh no! An enemy I can kill myself but I'm not allowed to!
Joe: I shall help thee, fine lass! Slasheth.
Hype: Eek! A strange talking longhaired goth kid!
Joe: Shut up'eth.

Chancellor: I... am... Batman!
Joe: Methinks not! Slasheth.
Yakra: Ow.
LH: That was my kill!
Joe: Oh go to hell...eth.

Hype: We're back in the present!
Susie: My father's the king.
Hype: ...You ruined the moment!
Susie: LH, take me home.
LH: I'M NOT YOUR PERSONAL SLAVE!
Susie: Yes you are.
LH: God damnit.

Chancellor: You kidnapped the princess!?
LH: No, you fag!
Chancellor: Yes you did.
LH: Did not!
Chancellor: Did too!
LH: Did not!
Chancellor: Did too!
LH: Liar liar pants on fire!
Chancellor: Augh! Damn you! To court with you!
LH: Fine.

Old man: Not guilty.
Old man: Not guilty.
Old man: Not guilty.
Old man: Not guilty.
Old man: Not guilty.
Old man: Not guilty.
Old man: Not guilty.
Chancellor: The verdict is... GUILTY! You will be executed within 30 seconds.
LH: Why you sneaky little bitch!

Hype: I'm here to save you.
LH: WE'RE OUT OF THE CASTLE ALREADY.
Hype: Right.

Dragon Tank: Hi.
LH: Don'tchu talk to me! Slash.
Dragon Tank: Oh no! I've seem to been explodicated.
LH: Huh?

Hype: A GATE!!!!
LH: NO!
Hype: Screw you.

La Bamba: In the yeeeaar two thoooooousaaaand!
LH: SHUT UP.

Susie: I don't think we're in Kansas anymore...
LH: WE'RE 1300 YEARS IN THE FUTURE FOR GOD'S SAKE!
Susie: Jeez, use your inside voice.
LH: WE'RE NOT EVEN INSIDE.
Susie: Oh. Well let's head over to that dome over there that may contain the next boss.
LH: Thank you.

Guardian: You suck too much to be allowed through!
LH: I think not! Slash.
Bits: Ow... bitch...
LH: Slash.
Guardian: Mommy!
LH: Slash.
Hype: There's nothing left...
LH: Slash.
Hype: Ow!

Susie: L... R... A!
Computer: Ding!
LH: Smartness.
Susie: Try "ratness."
LH: Same thing!

Johnny: How'd you win!?
LH: I suped up my jet bike with a 5400 horsepower engine, and some new spinner rims.
Johnny: No you didn't, you just raced in front of me right at the end with a turbo boost.
LH: SAME THING.

Hype: Aw, poor robot!
LH: That thing's gonna attack us, you know.
Hype: Naaaaaaah!

Bob: Hi, I'm R66-Y.
Hype: Cool!
Susie: Let's call him Bob!
Hype: Super cool!
LH: ...Am I the only person who wants him to be called R66-Y?

Bob: Zabie!
Susie: X... A... B... Y!
LH: ...wtf?

R67-Y: Traitor!
Bob: Friend!
R69-Y: Punch.
Bob: Bitch!
LH: Slash, slash, slash, slash, slash, slash.
R-series: Ouchies!
Hype: That was anticlimactic.

Susie: Is Bob okay?
Hype: We can rebuild him. We have the technology.
LH: Oh God.

Old Dude: Hey.
LH: Uh, hi.
Old Dude: Hey.
LH: I said hi.
Old Dude: Hey.
LH: I SAID HI YOU DAMN DIRTY... GEEZER!
Old Dude: Hey.
LH: Slap!
Old Dude: Hey! Cut it out!
LH: ...

Spekkio: Magic for you!
LH: Boogidy boogidy.

Imp 1: Wtf?
Imp 2: Someone was having a three-way in my closet!
LH: It's called a warp... although the other thing should've happened...
Susie and Hype: SLAP!
LH: ...ow.

LH: I want a Tonic.
Hench Shopkeeper: 65000g!
LH: How about 10g?
Hench: IT'S A DEAL! Not.

Heckran: Hi.
LH: Slash.
Heckran: Haha!
LH: Lightning.
Heckran: Son of a...

Hype: 600 AD.
Susie: That was fast.
Bob: Gripe complain moan.
LH: Go back to the End Of Time.
Bob: Fine.

Ozzie: Ozzie's in a jam!
LH: WAIT! PLAY CRAZY TRAAAAAIN!
Ozzie: That joke's been done already!
LH: ...DO IT ANYWAY!

Zombor: I'm a giant zombie.
LH: No shit. Slash.
Zombor: Disintegrate.

Townspeople: Find the Masamune!
LH: Where the hell'd you come from!!?

Mune: I'm the wind! Whoosh!
LH: Suuure, and I'm the queen of England.
Home Starrunner: I thought you were the king of Ukraine!
LH: Shut it up, you!

Masa and Mune: Let's become part of a sword for you!
LH: ...okay then.

Joe: 'Tis the Masamune!?
LH: Believe it, goth.
Joe: 'Tis such a marvelous sword... yet it's broken.
LH: ...
Joe: Eth.
LH: Oh yeah, it's broken.

Bob: Roihclem? OMG! IT'S MELCHIOR!
LH: ...it took you that long to figure that out?

Melchior: I need a stone.
LH: I got some weed right here...
Melchior: ...
LH: Ooooh, right.

Ayla: Ayla like strong men!
LH: I have a girlfriend...
Ayla: Ayla hate you.

Azala: APES!
LH: I know I have a lot of hair, but I'm not an ape.
Azala: Nizbel! Attack these apes!
LH: I'm not an ape! Slash!!!!
Nizbel: Ha!
LH: Lightning.
Nizbel: Why you little bitch!

Melchior: Finished!
Hype: Yup, finished.
Susie: IT'S BEAUTIFUL!
LH: It's Joe's.
Susie: Damnit.
Bob: Whine grope moan!
LH: I SAID GO BACK TO THE END OF TIME!
Bob: Sigh.

Joe: 'TIS THE MASAMUNE AGAIN!
LH: All fixed up so you can travel with us.
Joe: Thanks, now I can speak normally!
LH: You better.
Joe: Eth.
LH: Thank you.

LH: LIGHTNING3!
Magic Cave enemies: Ow.
Joe: Was that legal?
LH: No, but it was sure as hell fun!

Joe: This must be...
LH: ...
Joe: ...
Susie: ...
Hype: ...
Bob: ...
Joe: Magus' Lair!
LH: Can we talk now?
Joe: Did I say your name yet?
LH: ...

Slash: Hi, I'm Slash!
LH: Slash.
Slash: What?
LH: Slash!
Slash: WTF DO YOU WANT.
LH: I want you to die.
Slash: Oh yeah.
Simonbob: STOP STEALING MY JOKES!
LH: No.

Flea: Hehehe...
Bob: Hey, you're pretty hot.
Flea: ...I'm a guy.
Bob: ...oh dear GOD.
LH: Slash.
Flea: Ow.

Ozzie: Obstacle course!
LH: Jump, slash, jump, evade, slash.
Ozzie: Hehe... oh crap! Fall!
LH: ...dumbass.
Susie: Can we talk now?
Joe: Did I say your name yet?
Susie: ...

Auth: Muahaha!
LH: Slash.
Auth: Bastard.

Susie: We're back in 65,000,000,000,000,000,000,000 etc BC!
Hype: No, we're in 2300 AD. WHAT DO YOU THINK.
Joe: I think you're hot.
Hype: ...That was disturbing.
Joe: I know, but that's what I think.

Nizbel: I'M UPGRADED!
LH: No, you're lightning'd.
Nizbel: That too.

Azala: It's the apes again!
Tyrano: Meow!
Azala: You're supposed to roar!
Tyrano: Meow!
Azala: Fine, I'll do it. Roar.
LH: Slash.
Azala: Wtf!
Joe: Slashness.
Tyrano: MEOW!
Azala: At least die with PRIDE, man!

LH: It's an ice age!
Susie: Azala was right, the plains froze over.
Hype: It's 12000 BC!
Bob: Moan bitch complain whine!
Joe: Get back in your cage!
Bob: Sorry master...

Little Kid: I see dead people.
LH: Shut up.
Little Kid: I'm serious. One of you is gonna die.
LH: Is it me?
Little Kid: Yes.
Joe: Just to check, it's not me, right?
Little Kid: No.
Joe: YES!

Queen Zeal: You suck! Dalton! Take care of them!
Dalton: GOLEM!!!
Golem: Growl.
LH: Slash.
Golem: Boomio.
Dalton: Grr! Damn you hackers! The Kingdom Of Dalton will rule someday!
LH: Not today. Get out of here.
Dalton: Bitch.

Prophet: Don't tell anyone, but it's me.
LH: Who?
Prophet: Auth. I'll reveal myself later.
LH: Thanks for the spoiler!

Schala: The gate's been sealed.
Authprophet: Wonderful... maybe.
Schala: Authprophet?
Prophet: Huh? What's that?
Schala: You're freaking me out. PLAY MY THEME BITCH!

Susie: Eeeew! A sewer!
LH: Deal with it, bitch, it's part of the game.
Hype: Did you have to call her a bitch?
LH: No, it's funnier that way.
Joe: Methinks I should returneth to talking this way.
LH: No.
Joe: Eth.
LH: Fine.

Belthasar: Take my time machine.
LH: THEY DO EXIST! Let's call it Tim.
Joe: Methinks the Epoch would be a better name.
LH: You suck at talking like that.
Joe: I hate you'eth.

Mud Imp: Nyeh!
LH: Slash. Slash.
Mud Imp: Nyeh!
Joe: What'd he slash at?
LH: Beasts.
Joe: Ah.
LH: Slash.
Mud Imp: Nyeh! I'm dead!

LH: Goin' up a mountain chained to a tundra... nothing special...
Giga Gaia: Preeeow!
LH: WTF IS THAT THING.
Joe: Slash.
Giga Gaia: Ow! My arm!
Joe: Slash and slash again.
Giga Gaia: Ow! My... me!
LH: ...I'm still confused on what that thing was.

Dalton: Augh! Not you again!
LH: Just die.
Dalton: Fine...

LH: AWESOME MUSIC!
Susie: No.
LH: God damn you.

Dalton: You again!?
LH: ...Jesus, why!?!?
Dalton: You're not fighting my awesome self again. Sorry.
LH: Sorry? I didn't want to fight you in the first place!

Golem 1: Rawr!
Golem 2: Moo!
Golem 1: ...Moo?
Golem 2: Shut up, it's the most menacing sound I can make!
Golem 1: IT'S A GODDAMN COW.
LH: SHUT UP AND DIE!
Joe: SLASHETH!
Golems: Moo!
LH: Someone kill me.
Hype: Will do.
LH: ...Not you...

Lavos: ROOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR!
LH: ...okay... now I've seen everything.

Prauthet: HA! IT'S ME!
Queen Zeal: A false prophet, eh?
Auth: Did you not notice me TAKE OFF MY DISGUISE?!
Queen Zeal: Oh yeah.

LH: I still wanna be killed.
Lavos: Will do.
LH: ..Not you...
Lavos: Too bad, it's part of the storyline.
LH: Oh crap.
Lavos: Destruction.
LH: Ow.

Joe: LH is dead! Rejoice!
Susie: NO!
Joe: I dance better than Chris Galten.
Susie: ...Go ahead.

Dalton: THE KINGDOM OF DALTON LIVES ON!
Joe: It lived for about 5 seconds now...
Dalton: SHUT UP.

Joe: Where's our stuff?
Hype: Look! An airduct!
Joe: ...I SAID WHERE'S OUR STUFF.

GolemBoss: DEAR GOD I'M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS! AAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!
Joe: Tap.
GolemBoss: Omg I died!
Hype: Hey Bob, remember that time I said that one battle was anticlimactic?
Bob: Yeah.
Hype: I take that back.

Dalton: AGAIN!?
Joe: Stab.
Dalton: Oww!

Auth: Hi, let's fight, Joe.
Joe: Stab.
Auth: Stab. Good fight. I feel like fighting with you now.
Joe: Coolies.

Old Dude: Hey.
Joe: Give us the Chrono Trigger.
Old Dude: Hey.
Joe: Stop saying that!
Old Dude: Hey.
Auth: He said give us the Chrono Trigger... damn you Guru of Time!
Old Dude/Guru Of Time: Hey!
Auth: ...

Joe: We need a clone.
Auth: This is my clone.
Hype: Shut up, Auth.
Susie: Back to 1000 AD!
Bob: Gripe.
Joe: I SAID BACK IN YOUR CAGE.

Nolstein Bekkler: Copy the movements exactly and I'll lower the cost of the clone!
(20 minutes later...)
Nolstein: JUST STOP! HE'S FREE!
Joe: God... that was... easy.

LH's Mom: Where's LH?
Joe: We're reviving him now.
LH's Mom: Oh, that's wonderful! ...Wait, what do you mean "reviving?"

Joe: Death Peak!
Auth: Shut up... goth.
Joe: Nyeh.

Lavos: Bwagah!
Joe: Die!
Lavos: Grr...

Lavos: Bwagah!
Joe: Die again!
Lavos: Grr...

Susie: We're at the summit!
Hype: Crazy.
Joe: Revive!
(warp!)

LH: I still wanna be killed.
Lavos: Will do.
LH: ..Not you...
Lavos: Too bad, it's part of the storyline.
LH: Oh crap.
Joe: LH! NO! Clone switch!
Lavos: Destruction.
LH's Clone: Ow.

Susie: OMG MAKEOUT!
LH: FINALLY SOME ACTION!
Hype: OMG MAKEOUT AS WELL!
LH: FINALLY A THREEWAY!
Joe: ...WHY DIDN'T I DIE!? GOD, WHY DIDN'T I DIE!?
Hype: That can be arranged...

LH: Sidequests!
Joe: ...wow...
Auth: That was fast.
Bob: Bitch compliments whine grope!
Joe: CAGE!

Mega Mutant: Ow, I died.
Giga Mutant: Ow, I died.
Terra Mutant: Ow, I died.
Hype: ...
Susie: What?
Hype: We weren't even near them...
Auth: It's called THROWING POWERFUL OBJECTS!
Hype: It doesn't happen in the real game.
Auth: Marle, Lucca, and Crono don't have a makeout 3-way in the real game...
Hype: ...they don't?
Joe: Depends on who's in your party...
Hype: ...Someone kill me.
Susie: WILL DO!
LH: Good thing she didn't know...
Hype: LH, shut the hell up.

Lavos: Growl!
Joe: Poke.
Lavos: Whimper.

Queen Zeal: Bwahaha! You have to fight me now!
Joe: Poke.
Queen Zeal: ...God DAMN you!

Queen Zeal: Feel the wrath of the Mammon Machine!
LH: I think we should slash it.
Queen Zeal: ...God DAMN you!

Queen Zeal: You will die now!
LH: No, you will.
Queen Zeal: Fine...

Lavos: Final battle! Bwagah!
LH: Slash.
Joe: Slash.
Bob: Punch in the face.
Lavos: Ow!

Lavos: Final battle phase 2! Bwagah!
Hype: Shoot.
Susie: Arrow.
Auth: Slice.
Lavos: Damn!

Lavos: Final battle phase 3? Bwagah?
LH: Oh shut up.

LH: What? 13 more endings? What the hell are you talking about?
Joe: There are 14 endings in Chrono Trigger...
LH: Oh GOD!
Joe: You'll get to make out with Susie and/or Hype 13 more times...
LH: COUNT ME IN!

----

And that's my awesome abridged Chrono Trigger with TAoL characters and fun stuff other than the seriouslessnessnesslessness of the actual game. And by seriouslessnessnesslessness, I mean more seriousness. You know?

So yeah, have a nice trip and what not.

"Can I go now?"

-LH