A/N: So this is my new chapter one! I re-worked a lot of things and added a lot more information this time around. So thank you to all the people who gave me great suggestions and helped me out! (You know who you are.)

Chapter1- A Failed Attempt

It was my weapon of choice. I had searched for something, but my exploration was completely useless. The cabinets were kept locked and all sharp objects were hidden. But then I noticed something. My mother had slipped up. She had done something so half-witted that it made me laugh at her idiocy. She must have thought I was asleep because she had been cutting job offers out of that day’s paper. And there they were. Sitting so carelessly on the table was the one thing that would bring me relief. The cool metal pressed heavily against my skin. There was blood everywhere. I watched the shiny crimson spurt from my wrists with every pulsation of my slowing heart. I smiled satanically as pools of blood began to form on our hardwood floor. The rhythmic gushing of my blood, a sensation that deadened any pain that I would’ve felt, entranced me. Now all I could do was wait to die. As my blood loss became more substantial, I caught one last and final glimpse of my true savior.

Through my blurred vision I could see the bloodstained scissors lying nonchalantly on the floor. My inhumane treatment would be over. I would not have to live a life of agonizing pain anymore. But why was it taking so long? I looked at the jagged slashes my wrists now adorned, blood was still rapidly escaping from my severed veins. I began to grow impatient.

“Damn,” I breathed feeling my head beginning to swim with dizziness. It wasn’t happening as fast as I had planned it would. My body felt weak and trembled beneath me as I stumbled around the room. The constant sound of blood splattering on the ground echoed in mind as I collapsed to the floor. I could feel a warm sensation washing over my numb body. My eyes became heavy, my breathing staggered. The last thing I remembered was the sound of my bedroom door bursting open and the shrill screams that erupted from my mother’s mouth.

The blinding florescent lights pierced my eyes. I opened them to find myself lying on a hospital gurney with each of my blood-covered hands strapped down, an I.V. protruding from one. I was in the middle of a blood transfusion. I began to breathe hard as I took in my surroundings. Why couldn’t they let me die? I tried to move my hands. I could feel the leather straps tighten as they rubbed against my bandaged wrists. My breathing became heavier as I struggled to move my arms. I thrashed my body around in hopes of getting myself loose. It wasn’t working. In anger, I began to scream at the top of my lungs. I saw a flash of white. I felt a twinge of pain on the inside of my arm followed by a hot sensation that spread quickly throughout my body. The muscles in my arms began to relax and I stopped struggling. As my whole body succumbed to the medication my eyes shut and I fell into a dreamlike state.

“Her father was killed when she was just a child.” My eyes fluttered open but I quickly shut them when I saw two nurses standing at the end of my bed. “A drunk driver hit him head on.”

“That’s awful. I couldn’t imagine how hard that must have been for her.”

“Her mother said ever since she’s been withdrawn. She said that Amara’s been to psychiatrists before but none could make any kind of diagnosis other than depression. She’s on Zoloft right now.”

“Her father’s death caused her depression?”

“Well according to her mother it was that and also the fact that Amara’s grades began to slip and the children at school made fun of her. You know how mean people can be especially children.”

“But I don’t understand how anybody in any kind of state they’re mind is in could try and take their own life. Her records say that this her third suicide attempt.”

“They need to lock her up and get her some professional help, but her mother insists on taking her home. She says she doesn’t want to put her daughter through more than she has to endure.”

“Let’s just hope she can recover from this.”

“Yes, I hate to see anyone try to waste the glorious life God himself has given us.”

God? God gave me a life of living Hell, but he took my father’s glorious one I thought angrily. Why couldn’t I have taken his place? He deserved to live. It was all God’s fault my father died.

I listened as the nurses kept talking until I heard the sound of the door opening and their footsteps died down the hallway.

As soon as they discovered I was awake I was moved down to the psychiatric ward of the hospital. Now the awful leather straps that were on my bed bound my arms as well as my legs. They watched me like a hawk following my every move. For three days I didn’t speak to anyone, nor reply to any of the questions that they had asked me. I stayed within myself, much like the way I stayed within the confines of the walls of the hospital.

The file the doctors had been keeping read:

Hugo- Linder Psychiatric Facility

Patient # 3765

Name: Amara Elizabeth Reed

Age: 17

Attempted Suicide

Case Study: Inconclusive. Suspected Dementia Praecox, further studies needed.

I had overheard the doctor discussing this with my mother. I knew my hospital records looked more like a wrap sheet on a criminal than a patient did. It was as thick as a book and I was sure it thoroughly examined all of my suicide attempts. He suggested that I needed to have regular contact with a psychiatrist. Great more shrinks I thought as my mother walked me out to the car. I sat in silence as my mother started the engine. I looked at her face. Sprawled on it was a mix of anger and sadness. Finally she spoke to me in a breathy whisper.

“Amara, what were you thinking?” I turned away from her and watched the trees zip by as she drove out of the hospital’s parking lot.

“I know, I should’ve just overdosed like everyone else,” I said coldly. I kept my head turned watching my surroundings race by me. I did not see the tears silently sliding down my mother’s face.

Everything had changed after my failed attempt. Nothing was spoken between the two of us. Three weeks had passed. That’s when my mother finally spoke a full sentence to me.

“You have to go back to school tomorrow.”

The stood under the florescent lights of the hallway terrified as he neared me. The end of the day had crept so slowly that I was just eager to burst through those giant double doors. Getting out of that building known as school was my only objective. But something got in the way of my escape plan. My name echoed down the hallway. I froze in my footsteps. I pretended I didn’t hear it. I didn’t want to attract attention. But there it was again. Someone was calling my name in the hallway. I turned around to see Evan Mitchell hurrying up the long hall, my name lingering on his lips. No one had ever even uttered my name at that school before. People for the most part either was afraid of me, or didn’t even know I existed. His beautiful mouth. His beautiful mouth opened and he spoke to me.

“You’re Amara right?”

My chest tightened as I tried to find my voice. I choked on my words. “Ye…Yes,” I said shyly. I hadn’t noticed everyone was watching us.

“Good. Why don’t you get the hell out of here you fucking freak…” He paused and heaved a small chuckle. “Before you try and slit your wrists in front of all of us.” I looked at the sinister grin on his face as laughter rang out through the halls. I stood completely speechless. I could feel hot tears welding up in my eyes. I tried to suppress them as I crossed my arms to hide my damaged wrists. “Well what are waiting for you pale suicidal freak? Silence had fallen through the hall and I heard a faint snicker and the word nightfall was tossed around with laughter. I averted my eyes back to Evan, who looked disgusted with me. He leaned closer to me. “I said get out of here!”

I turned and ran not looking at my so-called peers pointing at me. I ran through the street, the colors of the day whirled by me. I did not stop running until I reached the door to my fourth floor apartment. I stood in my entry hall. Through my tear-blurred vision I could see my mother standing at the sink washing dishes, her back turned to me. When I shut the door she turned.

“How was your…” Her voice trailed off and she dropped the dishtowel at the sight of my splotchy tearstained face. Her face contorted as if she was about to ask me a question but before she could I ran to my room slammed the door. I threw myself facedown onto my bed and buried my face.

“Mari honey?”

“Go away.” I wondered if she had heard my muffled cry.

“Mari sweetheart what’s wrong?”

“Leave me alone mom!” This time I yelled. I knew she heard me.

“Amara let me in now!”

“Damn it mom I said go away!” I strained my voice to scream as I felt tears running down my face. I heard the sound of her footsteps dissipate down the hallway. I squeezed my eyes shut. Tears flooded my pillow. I howled with anger and pain. Why couldn’t someone just make it all go away? Why couldn’t someone love? These desires bounced around in my mind and the thought of them had been so vivid that I had actually spoken them out loud. But I knew it was pointless. It wasn’t like anyone would actually hear me. Or was it?

He had come during the night, like the wolves howling, you hear them in the darkness, but you don’t see them, yet you know they are there. I knew he was out there. I knew he was waiting for me, but really, I was waiting for him. I didn’t know who he was, or what he was; it was more of a feeling. I knew there was something for me, a higher purpose in our pathetic world, and I was waiting for it. The cold night air chilled my breath as I rounded the corner to our back alley. The fire escape beckoned me, as I drew nearer to it. I often took walks in the dead of night, while my mother lied safely, unknowing in her bed. But this night was different; the air was still, and heavy. A slight presence hung in the air. As I approached the fire escape, I felt him behind me. I turned to face him. His silver hair beamed in the darkness, and his black eyes seemed bottomless, empty, yet all knowing. I backed away from him, fearful at first, but soon relaxing when his voice ran over my body like a sweet drug that took all my concerns away. My back was against the cold brick wall, my breathing staggered, as I watched him near me. He leaned in pressing against my body, his face inches from mine as he spoke.

“I’ve been looking for you Amara. I could feel your cold, distant mind. You feel so alone, so lost, so angry. You hate being different. People stare at you, they talk about you. You hate everyone. You hate your life. You hate your own life so much you’ve hurt yourself.”

His words echoed in my mind as I cradled my scarred arms, wondering how he knew.

“I could help you. I could change your life. I could end your time in this mortal world. I could give you everlasting life, if you let me take you. You have it in you, I can feel it coursing through your veins, and you’re itching to let it out aren’t you?

I shut my eyes, feeling his warm breath on my neck. “Yes. I want to let it out.”

“You’re screaming inside. I can change you into a higher being. I can get you away from these ignorant humans.”

He leaned in further, turning his face to my ear and in a very quiet breathy whisper, he convinced me.

“I can show you a love that you have never seen before. Would you like that Amara?”

My breathing slowed as I opened my eyes to peer into his black, empty sockets. This had been what I had been waiting for. A chance to get away from being the freak show that had plagued all seventeen years of my life. I stared into his eyes, there was no feeling in them, but they were over flowing with a sense of knowledge.

“I can teach you many things,” he said as if reading my mind.

I nodded. I wanted him to take me away. I wanted to get away from this hell that I had been living. He leaned in closer, and began to kiss my bare neck.

“Yes, you are the right one,” he said chuckling to himself. “This will only hurt for a moment.”

I could see his fangs drawing near my neck as I squeezed my eyes shut. His warm body now pressed onto mine, as if pinning me to the wall. His teeth pierced my flesh, I whimpered at first, but soon the pain had ceased into an euphoric feeling that numbed my whole body. My mind and body had been separated. My mind was racing, but I felt so relaxed under his warmth. I could feel my heart beating in my chest, and then I began to realize that it was slowing down, until it came to a complete stop. I could feel something warm flowing down my arm, and I opened my eyes, only to see nothing but darkness.

I awoke in his arms. I saw blood everywhere. I stood, feeling my legs wobble underneath me. I was covered in it. I reached up to feel where his fangs had penetrated my flesh. Dried blood resided atop of two small holes where his teeth had been. I then noticed the taste in my mouth. A metallic taste and I realized there was blood, his blood around my mouth. I turned to face him, but when I did he was gone, I was alone in the darkness. I was changed. This is how I became a vampire.