Looking in
behind storm glass windows,
I could stand here
and watch,
forever.
Forever is a limitless word;
I might end up
standing under a downpour
of falling glass.

Watching this is torture.
I can't break in
no matter what kind of
hurricane I conjure up.
Storms of hate
only exist to cover for
the more painful feelings:
jealousy,
misery,
loneliness.

Even if a crowd of friends
surrounds me,
engulfs me,
I still feel empty
and secluded.
I've found it's possible
for actions alone
to hurt -
without spoken words.

My self-esteem doesn't have
enough ego
to stand out here, forever,
like I planned.
No matter what I believed before
longing would overtake me,
before forever,
leaving me senseless,
knocked out,
outside your window.