Living Amidst King

And so I was born. Mother died. Father never forgave me. I suppose he had the right to be so angry.

I learned early on to behave like the perfect little princess that I was. The title came from Mother, for Father was not of royal blood. He was but an earl.

He charmed Mother, and got her to agree to marriage. She thought him a sweet, sensitive guy, which was far from the truth. I know better. He only acted so because she was a princess. He only loved her for her title. Mother never knew, of course. But I do.

Mother died because of me. A girl. Instead of being father to the heir of two countries, he got me. A girl. And girls cannot rule. Everything they own belonged to the men in charge, whether it is her father, brother… or husband.

I do not wish to marry. Not that I will have a choice.

This is the story of an unfortunate girl with an overly ambitious father and two kings who loved her.

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“Come on. Try to catch me,” I shouted over my shoulder as I ran through the palace ballroom. The pink ribbon trailed behind me, eluding Jon’s grasp.

“Slow down,” He panted. “I’m getting dizzy just watching you.”

“Catch me, then. Unless, of course, you can’t,” I teased.

Jon’s face screwed up in mock anger, and he reached out to grab the twirling silk.

Just then, a page came in. “Your highness, your father wishes your audience. You may come too, Princess.”

The title was there because the King willed it. He had always been nice to me. He was, after all, my uncle. I handed the ribbon over to the page and followed them into the King’s private quarters.

“Father.” Jon bent at the waist, into a shallow bow.

“Your majesty,” I said, dropping into a neat curtsy.

The King beckoned to us from a cushy leather armchair in front of the blazing fire. It was getting to be a bit nippy. There was only one extra chair, however, so I sat on the armrest. After all, Jon was, or at least was supposed to be, my better.

“So, another year come and gone. You are what, twelve and nine?”

“I’m nearly thirteen, Father.”

“No you aren’t. You are still only twelve.”

“Well, you are only nine, little girl. So don’t talk that way to your elders.”

I turned my attention to the King, who was wearing a knowing grin. “You see, your majesty? How can such a child be eleven already?”

“Well, I’m older than you, that’s for sure,” Jon countered.

The King chuckled and then teased, “Well, Jonathan. It would appear that Sonitania is correct. Surely we had taught you better than this, no? You should not talk like so to a lady, son. Especially not to this poor thing here. Hasn’t she suffered enough at your hands already?”

“Father!”

“Your majesty!” we shouted out concurrently.

“What? Well, it’s true,” he countered, pretending to be offended.

“I have not been bad to her. Tell him, Sonia.”

“I am not a poor thing who cannot defend herself.” I crossed my arms and glared at him. Most people would not do such a thing, but I was not afraid. What ever would he do to me? He was my uncle and I trusted him like I trusted no one else. I trusted him even more than I did Jon, who was after all a boy, and therefore very unreliable. He was okay as a playmate, but hard to depend on.

He sighed. “I’m not going to win this argument, am I?”

“No,” Jon and I stated flatly. These seemed to be the King’s favorite subjects of late, court etiquette and our lives.

“On to other matters, then. As you probably already know, the ambassador from Halarivil has just arrived, and there is to be a state dinner in his honor tonight. Now, I want you to be on your best behavior, hear?” We nodded our agreement. This was old news. “Well, then. Just one last thing. Sonia, since this is a state occasion, I’m afraid you are going to have to share Jon’s plate.”

I groaned. “Must I?” Of course, I already knew the answer.

“Yes. It is the custom for the Crown Prince to be served, and there is none better than you for such a task. Now, my little princess, any more complaints?”

“No,” I reluctantly agreed. It wasn’t as if I could win the argument, anyway. Tradition was tradition, and it would take more than a few words to change that.

“Well, see you younglings tonight at the feast, then.”

We were dismissed. We got up and followed his squire down the corridor to our rooms.

“The King said for you to get ready.” He got ready to leave, and then turned around again to remind us of the importance of the dinner. “You know, if this comes through, cuzes, we are looking at a zillion more plots of rich farm land, not to mention most of the Palapsis Hills.

“Goodbye, Nefurian. We know. Now, why don’t you leave us alone? Or were your planning to watch her Royal Highness change?”

“I-I had no such intentions,” the boy sputtered, his cheeks the crimson of Mandorianen’s flag.

I sighed. “Stop teasing the poor boy, Jon,” I said exasperatedly. “Let’s get going. You’re making me late for my bath.”

“And is your bath more important than the views of your future king?” Jon teased. Nevertheless, he departed to his own rooms, which were just down the hall.

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“Presenting her Royal Highness, Princess Sonitania Elveraniana Forestanima Mandorianen.”

I glided down the stairs in a crimson silk dress. I bit back a grimace. I had never really liked my long name. It comprised of twenty-five syllables, five for each of the five words, meaning I had four names. The last word of my name was my country, because I was the ward of the King. Normally, the daughter’s last name came from her father’s lands, but no one is going to argue, seeing as how my uncle is the king. Besides, I was his only immediate family.

He had loved his sister, and missed her dearly. I suppose he is so nice to me for the sake of Mother’s memory. Of course, sometimes I wished he would be more distant, for he seems to have gotten it into his head that I would marry Jon. I mean, really. Jon? He was so unbelievable immature. And besides, I was only nine. It’d be years before I could truly be considered old enough to marry.

An announcement startled me out of my daze. Prince Jonathan had arrived.

“How do you do, Highness,” I politely asked.

“As well as one ever does when half the eyes in the room are staring at you,” he answered. “You know, I may be wrong, but I believe a lot of those eyes belong to mothers seeking husbands for their girls. Please tell me I’m wrong.”

“Any girl would be lucky to be yours,” I responded. He was indeed handsome in official dress, which was very much like a military uniform. The metals caught the light and sparkled as brightly as my jewels.

“Don’t toy with me, Sonia.”

“No, I’m serious. Really.”

“What about you?” he inquired. “What do you think?”

“Uh-I really am too young for such thoughts. You are too, for that matter.” I was trying to worm my way out of having to give an answer. However, he persisted.

“It’s not too early for engagement, Sonia.” He was too close. “Think on it, won’t you? It’s not too early to start planning a wedding. If you want, we could probably marry in three years.”

“I-um-let me think about it. Besides, it’s not really up to us, anyway.” I added truthfully. The marriage was always arranged, and the betrothed were almost never asked their opinions, especially not the girl.

“Well, I know for a fact Father would be pleased, and there cannot possibly be any reason for your father to be displeased. I am, after all, the heir to the royal throne,” Jon pointed out.

Still, I was unsure. I mean, I was only nine, and here he was asking me to make the biggest decision of my life. The truly weird thing was that he was actually asking me.

“Let me think about it, okay, Jon? I need some time.”

“Sure. Of course.” He understood. He understood me well. Maybe a little too well. “Now, may I request that you save for me the first dance?”

“Of course, your Highness. It would be my pleasure. ” Dinner was ready. I curtsied and went to my place at the table, next to him.

The dinner went surprisingly well, when one overlooks the awkward moments. I gave the best pieces to Jon and ate myself when I could. Of course, unsurprisingly, I was still hungry when dinner ended.

He stood up. I took the arm he offered and we moved onto the dance floor. Little did I know then that he had planned to occupy all of my time. I danced every song with him, and whenever I complained of wariness, would offer to escort me back to my rooms.

That was a bit unnerving, the thought of us being alone. Especially considering what he had just suggested. Whenever I refused this, however, he just smiled that knowing smile of his. He must have learned it from his father.

At last, the night was over. He escorted me to my rooms. Then he dismissed our guards and sent the servants away. We were alone.

“I will court you if that is your wish, Sonia,” he whispered in my ear. He smelled of the lavender soap they gave us to use. He was close. Too close.

I pulled away. “Well, good night, Highness.”

“Yes. Good night.” He started to leave, the added as an afterthought, “I will station two guards at your door. They will let no one in. You need not worry, Princess. No one will hurt you. Not even me.”

“Thank you,” I whispered to his quickly disappearing back. For a brief moment, he paused, and then went on his way.

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The next few years were happy ones. Jonathan never asked me again to marry him. Even though it was on both of our minds constantly, we got along just fine. We played together and had fun, but never went overboard.

“Come on, Sonia. Don’t make me wait any longer,” Jon shouted to me from outside my inner chambers. “Get out here already. Your Crown Prince orders you to,” he added with a smirk.

“All right, sheesh. Can’t a girl get dressed in the privacy and comfort of her own room?”

“Just get out of here. I order you to. Besides, it’s not like I can’t rightgully order you to undress just for me, anyways.”

I wanted to run out from behind the opaque pink silk curtain and pounce on him, and scratch him up bad. But I did not. After all, he was my superior, at least in name. I could get in trouble if I hurt him. Besides, I suppose what he said was the truth; though I hate admitting it, he did have some power over me.

In fact, he was, in power, second only to his father. Many girls would kill to be his, since he was the Crown Prince and all. Of course, then there were those like me, who would definitely not be overjoyed at the prospect of having his child. After all, I have my own life, one that did not revolve around him. In actuality, a lot of people thought that I was his, even though I am so not. I would rather die than to become just another of his concubines. At least I hope so.

It was supposed to be a secret, but everyone knew that royalty, and even some of the wealthier bourgeoisie, kept concubines. The Royal Heir could of course have all he wanted. Of course, just because he could have me did mean that I wanted to be his.

A shout shocked me out of my thoughts. It was His Royal Highness.

“I’m coming in, Sonia. You know, it would not be a bad idea for you to leave of a few layers, just for me.”

My cheeks reddened. At least I was dressed. I crossed my arms over my chest and raised my chin defiantly. “I am not one of yours, and never will be.” He lifted the silk, and the smile dropped from his lips. He stared behind me, at a corner of the room.

“Aw, come on, now, Sonia. I didn’t mean that. I was just toying with you.” To his credit, he did look remorseful.

I dropped my head and sighed. “You could you know, I am, after all, only a girl,” I said silently, staring as the floor.

“I was only kidding, Sonia. You know I would never do anything to hurt you,” he said, his own voice equally soft.

“So…this is awkward.”

“Yeah.” He looked at me, and then added, barely audibly, “You’re really pretty. Prettier than any other girl I’ve ever seen.” Then he blushed. It made him look really handsome, in a way. I could tell he was feeling really uncomfortable.

I bit my lower lip. “You know you could take me right now. I won’t tell. Why do you think I went along with your idea in the first place?”

“Oh, come on, Sonia. Surely you do not actually believe I would do something like that to you.”

“Then how do you explain this?” I asked, my voice gaining strength as I gestured to my outfit. It was one of those that concubines wore. He had simply given it to me then pushed me inside my chambers, telling me to change into it. At least he had cared enough to get me a new one.

The Crown Prince turned a darker shade of crimson, if that was possible. “I-I-I can explain,” he stuttered. “See, it was kind of a spur of the moment thing. I’m sorry. I didn’t think. I’m really sorry. Will you ever forgive me?” He stared into my eyes, on the verge of dropping to his knees to beg me for forgiveness.

I was tempted to tell him to do just that, but such a thing might be read as treason. After all, he was the heir to the throne. And I was only one of his many subjects.

“Look, Jon,” I whispered. “I forgive you. It’s nothing. It’s your right. Well, now that I’m all ready for you, why don’t we finish this?” I spun around in a circle, letting the translucent silk twirl around me. Most of it was in a soft blue-green, like the ponds in the palace gardens, matching my eyes. The trim was the sunny yellow of my hair.

He paled considerably. “Um…you don’t actually wanna…do you?” He gestured vaguely in the direction of my bed.

I shrugged. “Why not? I’ve given this a lot of thought, actually. And I’ve decided that should you ever ask to have me, I will comply. And now you have.” Seeing his shock, I smiled. It was a real smile, not one of those fake ones you wear at state events. “Who wouldn’t want to be yours? You’re a handsome young man, and the Crown Prince to boot. Any girl would be lucky to be yours.”

“But-but I thought you didn’t want to be a concubie, Sonia. Especially not mine.” He was confused, the poor thing. “Besides, like you said, I’m still very young. I’m only seventeen. And you are only fourteen.”

I sighed. “It doesn’t matter how old we are. Ones younger than we have married. Besides, being your concubie would probably be better than being someone else’s wife. After all, at least concubies aren’t expected to have a child every year.”

“Oh, seriously now. If I wanted you only as a concubine, would be so tender when I do this?”

He grabbed me around my waist, and before I could do anything, kissed my neck. It felt good. It felt right.

Then he pushed me away from him, just a little, and stared into my eyes. “I love you, Sonia. Will you marry me?”

“Yes,” I said breathlessly, without thinking. At that moment, I realized that I loved him too.

He started to fumble with the laces of my dress, and I let him. They were in front, so his hands inadvertently brushed against my breasts.

Then I let passion consume me.

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Uh oh. I did bad, Crown Prince Jonathan thought as he lay on the pink silk covers. He had not meant for this to happen this way. It just did. He should have been able to restrain himself, until after the wedding. What if she is pregnant?

Jon let these thoughts of regret fill his mind until he fell asleep again.

There were no dreams. He was content. All his dreams had come true.

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