A/N: I teamed up with an old friend of mine (flash-forward, aka Lindsay) and we wrote this together. No flames please, this was just quick piece of writing from the heart... We're both going through a similar experience right now... different situations, but the same general issue. So here you go:

BR

The desire to be more than the nothing I am,

to be the something I once was before I realized

there was a you

And life had seemed so simple,

as I locked myself away in my room of broken dreams,

dwelled within a novacaine universe,

shed tears that held no real sustenance,

unlike the ones I cry for you

BR

I feel the pain in my heart,

and it cries non stop for u, the person I can never have,

the person my dreams dream of,

the person my mind thinks of every second of the day,

my heart bleeds for you and the blood keeps dripping as the

pain keeps coming and

never stopping

BR

Oh how I grieve,

grieve the notion that I can never be yours,

that you can never be rightfully mine...

other than the spiritual solace of you that

haunts my most pleasant dreams and

eases my most morbid nightmares

And yet I don't grieve,

knowing that you're at my side,

holding my hand as the blood of reality coats my palms,

not comprehending the tension I feel as you hold me,

yet don't hold me at all

The tears of crimson sweep down my swollen cheeks:

my kiss good night,

my haunting lullaby

BR

the grieving I go through everyday

knowing ur heart will never be one with mine,

knowing that we will never become one, and

knowing we will never die side by side,

The pain I go through for u I can never explain,

the pain is so strong!

I just can't believe my feelings for u are so strong...

these are feelings I never knew I had till the day

I met u

BR

You are worthy of every tear,

every sigh of woe,

each forced smile...

Smiles I would not fake for another

But the taste of my tears lingering on my lips

only makes me long for your lips

all the more

Love, lust, lonliness,

death;

Can any be truly defined?

Can you be truly defined?

BR

You deserve my heart,

You deserve my mind ,

You deserve my enitre body and soul...

There is no part of me you don't deserve

You deserve every little piece of me from my head to my toes,

the love for u if feel is true

I would give everything to be with you,

anything to be able to touch and hold u

If I had you I would never let you go

BR

Oh, but I cannot help but wonder

how I can feel as though I have

lost

the love that never was

BR

CREDIT:

Kayla/Kasey KaseyLovesNoOne: Lines B1-8, 16-29, 39-49, 59-62/B

Lindsay flash-forward: Lines I9-15, 30-38, 50-58/I