Fake Smile

Every time I shove you away

All I want to do

Is pull you into my arms

Can't you tell

Each gaze I break

Just means

I wanna look into your eyes

And get lost in your heart

Why don't you understand?

Whenever I cut you with words

From my clever lips

All I'm dreaming about

Is kissing you with them

The lips that spoke truth before

And then had my words shoved down my throat

By you

I'd choke on them for days

Until I had to spit them back up

Too much weirdness follows truth

Too much pain follows weirdness

Too much depression follows pain

And I unload it all

Onto you

I'm sorry

But you're the only person

I ever truly wanted to tell

I ever truly needed to tell

But I can't

I won't

Put you through that hell

So from now on

I'll fake it

That way I won't shove you away

Instead, those arms welcome you

I won't break the gaze

Instead, these eyes with meet with yours

I won't cut you with words

Instead, these lips with smile

The most cheerfully fake smile

I can muster up

I can take the pain

I can take the depression

I'll live with it

Deal with it on my own

Make it a normal thing

Because I don't want you to hurt